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| 1. Baby Clogged Toilet |
| 2. Da Dirty Tampon Requiem |
| 3. Giving Head to a Shotgun |
| 4. I'm Not Racist, I Just Hate Minorities |
| 1. I Fuck on the First Date |
| 2. Damn, That's the Second Girlfriend I've Killed |
| 3. Why Are Fat Ugly People Always the Artistic Ones |
| 4. Your Suicide Attempt Was Really Funny |
| 5. First Freehold, Then the World, Then Space |
| 1. What a Horrible Way to Go Out |
| 2. Cherry Kool-Aid and K-Mart Sneakers Are Key Ingredients For Mass Suicide |
| 3. HIV Infected Fecal Matter |
| 4. I Took My A.K. to a Nun Shit Sex Orgy |
| 5. We Finally Got a Drummer But He's Paralyzed from the Neck Down |
| 6. I'll Stick My Dancing Shoes Up Your Ass |
| 7. Dimebag Is Just Like Selena...Dead |
| 8. Burning Bridges Like I Burn Babies |
| 9. Thug Mosh Grind Doo |
| 10. John Denver School of Flight (Instrumental) |
| 11. How Many Licks to the Center of a 8th Graders Pussy Pop |
| 1. I'm Too Old for This Shit |
| 2. That's Right Asshole, Shit Happens! |
| 3. I'm'a Kill You, You Sick Asshole! |
| 4. No Way You Live, No Way |
| 5. Riggs! |
| 6. Drop It Asshole! |
| 7. Alfred, Do You Like Ice Cream? |
| 8. You're Rippin' My Dick Off and Shovin' It Up My Asshole! |
| 9. Don't Worry Asshole, You'll Get Another Chance |
| 10. On Your Knees Asshole! |
| 11. All Dressed Up and No One Yo Blow |
| 12. Lieutenant Mike Harrigan |
| 13. I Never Forget an Asshole |
| 14. I'm Gonna Die on a Toilet, Aren't I? |
| 1. Caveman Dildo |
| 2. Fuck Her and Kill Her But Not in That Order |
| 3. Charles Lindbergh Was a Fuck Machine |
| 4. Say Cheese and Get Raped |
| 5. Pope Mobile Drive by |
| 6. Sand Burial Fuckfest |
| 7. No Viewing Octopus Porno on Company Time |
| 8. I Swerved to Miss a Cat and Hit 36 Kids |
| 9. Climbing the Ladder of Exhibitionism at the Old Folks Home |
| 10. Dead Baby Eaten by Dogs |
| 11. Doggie Style Cyber Sex with Marilyn Monrobot |
| 12. Best Things in Life Are Free, Then Why Did I Pay to Get AIDS |
| 13. Beaten with Your Own Cowboy Boots |
| 14. Malibu Is for Gay Guidos and Women |
| 15. I Don't Just Develop Film, I Develop Families |
| 16. Black Girlfriend Killed Grandma |
| 17. Sausage King Shooting Spree |
| 18. The Story of the Lonely Giraffe Who Fucked a Tree, a Fence, and a Shed |
| 19. Breastfeeding a Boozed Whore |
| 20. If You Got the HIV. Holla at Us (Cause We Never Rock Jimmy Hats) |
| 21. It Fucking Hurts When I Piss |
| 22. Since When Is Caging a Child Illegal |
| 23. Of Course I'm Not a Real Person. I'm a Big Piece of Poop |
| 24. Managing to Fuck a 16-Year-Old |
| 25. You Would Rise to the Occasion in a Room Full of Guys |
| 26. Cape + Mask + Gun = Neighborhood Shooting Rampage |
| 1. Bludgeoned with a Vacuum Cleaner |
| 2. Alien Rape |
| 3. Faking Retardation to Fondle Women |
| 4. I Wonder What a Woolly Mammoth Burger Would Taste Like |
| 5. Raped for Two Years |
| 6. Fast Times at Abu Ghraib |
| 7. Mr. Potato Head the Convicted Wife-Beater |
| 8. Explaining to Police Why You Masturbate in the Public Library |
| 9. Baseball Bat Abortion |
| 10. The Lost Hitler Golf Trophy |
| 11. Sorry Miss, I Was Giving Myself an Oil Job |
| 12. Almost as Cool as Stealing Prosthetic Legs |
| 13. Things Got a Little Out of Hand So I Bit Off Her Nose |
| 14. Umbrella Sodomy |
| 15. Bringing Invisibility to a Gun Fight |
| 16. First Freehold, Then the World, then Space |
| 17. Underage Girls Gone Wild! |
| 18. Is Yanni Gonna Have to Choke a Bitch? |
| 19. Dead Baby Speed Bump |
| 20. Holocaust Fun for the Whole Family |
| 21. If You Can't Trust a Mexican Hooker Who Can You Trust |
| 22. Tune for Your Titties |
| 23. Your Baby Is Flatter Than a Short Stack at IHOP |
| 24. Myspace Beat Down |
| 25. Candy, Cookies, Toys, and 18 Other Ways to Get Kids in Your Minivan |
| 26. It Only Gets Worse from Here |
| 27. I Totally Owned That Handicapped Kid in DDR |
| 28. Jesus Was a Scarecrow |
| 29. Trying to Keep the Body Count at Six |
| 30. Who Needs Lubrication When I Have Your Tears |
| 31. Fuzzy Wuzzy Was a Child Molester |
| 32. Fetus Cock Slap |
| 33. I'm Aint Filming Up Skirts, I'm Spying on Al-Qaeda |
| 34. Remember, Feet First Through a Woodchipper |
| 35. Almost as Cool as Stealing Prosthetic Legs (Screwed and Chopped) |