1. ROMAN NOSE LAKE, IDAHO 1980

(Instrumental)


2. THE INKEEPER AND THE CHARPENTER

Mother, sister, daughter, friend.
You are the surest thing in my life
I will love you 'till the end.
My heart beats stronger just knowing that I make you proud.
And as I write this song about your love,
I promise to sing it loud.

"Son you must practice patience.
A cluttered room leads to a cluttered mind.
Just brush yourself off and keep your chin up,
I promise this will all end up fine."

"Mothers plant within our hearts the seeds
That swiftly grow into the sweetest memories
That we will ever know."

Her words are powerful enough
To make dust seem like fine gold.
His voice has strength enough
To crush mountains into stone.

They put the future on hold until further notice.
When it came calling, as an answer,
They told it they'd found something
Far more suited for their care.

In Idaho they started a family.
In California they found the lumber.
And in Connecticut they built the frame.

On the ocean is how he fed his family.
With her hands she tilled the soil,
And with his he repaired the roof
he repaired the walls
he repaired the floorboards.

"We made love.
We made life.
We built this home."

"We built such a beautiful home. My love."

We made love.
We made life.
We built this home.
And in it we poured all that was in our hearts.
We made love.
We made life.
We built this home.
But in the winter with the cold,
The pipes all burst from the frost.
We made love.
We made life.
We built this home.
And as we look towards the future.
We'll answer its call in stride.


3. REBEL HORSE

Someday I would like to meet myself for the first time,
With eyes of brilliant silver
And an unquenchable thirst to know.
I'm not as young as I used to be
My knees have gotten weak
And my memory's grown thin.
Uncertainty holds back a once steady hand,
And time plagues every option.
Only stories and fingerprints connect
Me to the child of my youth.

Time is never as honest as she'd have you believe.

Remembering when we remembered when we were
So full of youth how we longed for the truth.
We made a promise we swore that we'd keep,
climbing through the trees.
This summer will never die.
This summer we can never die.


4. THE GOLDEN MONUMENT

You've kept me lying awake at night,
Calling out to a god that I don't necessarily believe in,
Or really even subscribe to.
And after all you've changed in me
I could never really change you.

A husband I am not.
A father I am not.
A lover I am not. A wretch I am.


5. 1-4-3

We used to worship the sun
Our pockets filled with sugar and sand
Blistered and splintered hands
We were innocent once
We tried our hands at purity
Never thinking we would fall short
We lived between the moments
And there beneath the trees
We spoke to constellations
In the hopes we were worth saving
Our prayers never made it past our ceilings.

So maybe we gave up trying.
You saved your breath for holding,
I'm saving mine for nothing.
Though all the noise has ended now,
We can still feel its lasting sound.
Like when a mouth begins to whisper,
Its breath a soft reminder.
Some hands were open for you,
But there intent was different;
Their fingers charred and pointing
And branding words beneath your skin.
While others withdrew
Their palms unsure for holding.
They too felt tied up at the wrists.
Things done for fear and friendship
It was never your fault then
Your tiny hands were never meant
To have to handle so much weight
But things are different now,
And some things you just can't forget.
I'm holding on to hoping
You'll find a hand to guide you yet.
This thread ties us together
No matter how far apart we get
I hope you find your peace,
I hope you'll find strength to forgive
Yourself as well as others.
And I hope those same things for myself

I need to be reminded
That bad deeds do not bad people make,
To do our best with what we're given
We have no fate but to live and make mistakes
My hands have grown so tired.
"Put down whatever it is
That you've been carrying around."
The soft words spoken by a friend
Please guard your heart, your lips, your fingers,
And lets speak gently with our breath.
And work to use our hands more wisely
In whatever days we might have left.

I need to remember that not winning isn't always losing.
And I need to remember that some things
Aren't better left unsaid.
And I need to remember to cherish everything I'm given.
And I need to forget to focus on the storms
That might be up ahead.

Take heart


6. NEVER KNOWS BEST

This is where the rubber meets the road
White knuckles, same shade of grey,
The dull hum of leaving,
And I don't know that I've ever needed so much saving.
Arms outstretched, I can barely feel you on my fingertips
And I hope that this is far enough
Every single person in my life has let me down
But I guess they were only really returning the favor

Barriers of steel, others less concrete
There's glass between us, static in my ears

All things blurred
Retracing every step on these well worn paths
The worst kind of pacing
So much time spent staring at the reflections of things
How many hours lost?
Two rights don't make it right
Every person has the capacity to say beautiful things
To make beautiful things
Yet there's nothing in my mouth
But the stale taste of my own tongue
Syllables rotting in my gums
And I break everything I touch
The leaves are changing, but the decay's not that beautiful
I've come to hate the smell of all things familiar
The landmarks of half-forgotten failures
Man miles traveled with no distance gained
A lifetime of moving on
But I'm just not that strong
And I need more peace than I let one
The low fuel light's been glowing like an ember
Maybe It'll burst into flames
Maybe someday!

And maybe I'll go up with it
But oh! What it would be like to thrive!
Wipe the dust from my eyes
These bags can't be unpacked
Hawk and dove
Hawk and dove
Always flinching
"Slow and steady wins the race"
Well, this is death by inches
So many dead deer, and I'm left here
Circling, like some kind of terrible vulture
These houses still remain
Now mostly empty
Now mostly stripped of the memories
These streets a harsh reminder
The phenomenon of craving
Can't stand all this waiting

Sit and take it
Grin and bear it
I can't believe I saved my life for this
Not locked in, yet here I stay
"Maybe I'll break this circuit one day"
There's no redemption quite like
An empty car and the open road
And I can feel myself wanting to leave again
My life, for yellow lines.


7. A REMINDER FOR THE LET DOWNS

The further into life you get
The further you are from reaching your goals.
There's a staying in your hand and a stillness
At your fingers,
Life isn't going quite as you had always hoped.

Believe me when I tell you that everything
Doesn't always work out like you planned
Along the way some strands are split
Until the rope you once held to is snapped.

Make sure to keep your eyes on the horizon
or else you'll be lost in the storm of your days.
And anxiety grabs you
And it pulls you under.
Gasping for air you will wish and wish
You had learned how to swim.
There won't always be someone there to throw you a ring.

This is just a reminder.
Be careful of the let downs.
You waste your days waiting
For opportunities to come and find you.
Well you should.

Scream out, not because you're afraid of loss,
But because you're afraid you haven't lived.
Scream out, scream out, scream out


8. HOMESPUN

As I walk down these dark and empty streets
My feet only passing by my feet.
There's something lurking in the shadows that surround me
Like my future it confuses, confounds me.
As the gravity of our bed pulls me home
I'm glad I won't have to go it alone.
So long as I have you by my side
I know I'll make it out.

My empress, my queen,
the color of these leaves shines a less vibrant hue.
My father, my king,
these buildings degrade at an alarming rate.
Without your care,
barring your hammer.
The stencils on these walls sing of loneliness.
While the floors still creak the same...

I'm sorry I haven't called as much as I could.
I am the tree with no roots. I am
sorry I haven't written as much as I should,
I am the tree with no roots.
In her voice I find comfort,
With you voice I find
Home is where your heart its.


9. PROSE AND CONS

I find it so strange to think that once we were in love
Hiding naked beneath the sheets.
You were so beautiful.
Oh, how I was so afraid.
Laughing at our innocence
And longing as it passed us by.
Now just the thought of her brings bile to my throat
Her words could rot teeth.
You told me hundreds and thousands of times
Just how much you would always need me,
And how you swore you'd never ever leave me.
And I believed you,
But in the end it was you who proved me wrong.
Now as I gladly move along.
I pick myself up and find a way to come out stronger.

My life has been full of short stories.
And I'm longing for an epic.
I found one in the reeds.
Right there hidden were the seeds.
Now as we march out of these marshes
We find ourselves both hand in hand.
We're taking steps towards our future,
While always learning from the past.
We'll find our way and make mistakes.
We'll find a way to make this last.
I'm sick of taking short walks down long roads
And never getting anywhere at all.
I want to walk 'till my boots run bare,
Take the high road towards our golden years.


10. ECLIPSE

I saw you standing in my door
As you woke me from my rest
Your shadow stretched across the floor
Until your head lay on my chest
A silhouette of who you were
You nervously confessed
Not quite understanding what I heard
I tried desperately my best


11. DAYDREAMER

You spoke softly, but with purpose
I saw the tired in your face
As you recounted me your nightmares
And your need to leave this place
And your struggles with the Sandman
And your desperate search for grace
Oh, how you longed for peaceful sleep
I lied there, listening, half awake

I cried two tears that night
So big they filled up all the seas
Now come and join me on this bed
And we'll sail anywhere you please
Please stay awake, at least a while longer

It's getting dark now, but I'm not tired
And though the wind is getting stronger
I'll stay right here by your side
We'll ride the waves from port to port
We'll push more pins into your map
Until we find a gentler harbor
Far from where worms and beetles nap.

And we will use our words as anchors
Build a house upon the land
Hide from all the ghosts that haunt us
Erase our footprints from the sand
We'll place this ship inside a bottle
Place the bottle on a shelf
We'll stay awake a million mornings
Count each golden sunrise towards our wealth
You'll show your teeth for once as we raise a glass
To toast your noble health
Although I've never seen a smile more uncertain of itself

With the warm breath from your nostril
We'll write prayers on the glass
That we'll recite with loving kindness
To every person as they pass

But I know that you hate dreaming
So for now lets just sit here
Stay awake at least 'till morning
And lay to rest your every fear
I want to find the warmth in your body
Want to see the child in your eyes
No alabaster effigy
Nothing left in you to despise
Because I really am afraid
You'll be a man I never get to meet
Don't be overcome by night just yet, my friend
And don't succumb to sleep
Please stay awake with me
Please stay awake.

Open your eyes.
Just please stay awake.
Please.