The Word Alive : Monomania

Metalcore / USA
(2020 - Fearless Records)
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1. MONOMANIA

Does anybody even care?
Is anybody listening to me?
I'm lying here, invisible
Feeling all your empty stares through me

I'm begging for a better way
Don't know how much more of this I can take
'Cause anger's so much easier
Than fixing everything I can't face

I'm stuck inside the madness
I know you felt this
But I know we'll make it out somehow
It's like a war from within just to let go
Killing ourselves to cope
Inside the sadness
Sometimes it traps us
And we think we're better off alone
It's like a war from within just to let go
Killing ourselves to cope

I feel it every time I breathe
Another "cure" that doesn't work for me
Darkness and anxiety
Seem to be the only friends I see

I'm praying for a better day
But reality takes its place
And will I ever be enough,
Will I ever be enough for me?

I'm stuck inside the madness
I know you felt this
But I know we'll make it out somehow
It's like a war from within just to let go
Killing ourselves to cope
Inside the sadness
Sometimes it traps us
And we think we're better off alone
It's like a war from within just to let go
Killing ourselves to cope

I know you're gonna take a shot at my heart
What you didn't know is I can see in the dark
I learned to adapt to the world that I see
I learned not to trust anybody but me
But me

I know you're gonna take a shot at my heart
But what you didn't know is I can see in the dark
I learned to adapt to the world that I see
Learned not to trust anybody but me

I'm stuck inside...
I'm stuck inside...

I'm stuck inside the madness
I know you felt this
But I know we'll make it out somehow
It's like a war from within just to let go
Killing ourselves to cope
Inside the sadness
Sometimes it traps us
And we think we're better off alone
It's like a war from within just to let go
Killing ourselves to cope

We're killing ourselves
Killing ourselves to cope


2. NO WAY OUT

Stuck in a bottle think I need that
Tears in my eyes, can't go back
Tunnel vision now all hope is missin'
Thinking that I made the right decision

Then 2 turned to 4, now I've lost track
Memories flooded as it goes black
Mistakes that I've made just attack, attack
When you're this lost most don't come back

Too close with no chance to let you know…

So tell me was it worth it?
Even if you're hurting?
I'd given in to all my darkest doubts
Like there was no way out
Tell me was it worth it?
Maybe I deserve this?
I'd given in to all my darkest doubts
Like there was no way out

Tell my family I love them, I'm sorry
Tell my friends it's ok if they hate me
Tried so hard came up empty
Forgive and forget isn't like me

I never learned how I need to let go
It's all too much so I swallowed the pain away
I couldn't stay…

Too close with no chance to let you know…

So tell me was it worth it?
Even if you're hurting?
I'd given in to all my darkest doubts
Like there was no way out
Tell me was it worth it?
Maybe I deserve this?
I'd given in to all my darkest doubts
Like there was no way out

I ran away, I ran away
Lied to myself, said it was ok
I hid the pain thinking it'd go away
Couldn't escape, I found another way
I ran away, I ran away
Trying to feel something

So tell me was it worth it?
Even if you're hurting?
I'd given in to all my darkest doubts
Like there was no way out

So tell me was it worth it?
Even if you're hurting?
I'd given in to all my darkest doubts
Like there was no way out

So tell me was it worth it?
Even if you're hurting?
I'd given in to all my darkest doubts
Like there was no way out
Tell me was it worth it?
Maybe I deserve this?
I'd given in to all my darkest doubts
Like there was no way out

No way out
No way out


3. SEARCHING FOR GLORY

If you're searching for glory, this isn't it
Searching for something good within

There's something we lack
It tears us apart and says we can't be different
It's harder to see
They want us to fail, derailed for their amusement

But you'll learn to escape
You're not bound to your fate
Create a better way
So now it's your turn
Light the fire that burns in all of us

If you're searching for glory, this isn't it
Searching for something good within
It's hard to be patient if you can't win
When the torture never ends
You're searching for glory
I'd die to find it

I can relate…
I've used all my pain to try and make a difference
I've wasted my time…
Devalued my life and battled with my conscience

So now it's my turn
I'll light the fire that burns in all of us

If you're searching for glory, this isn't it
Searching for something good within
It's hard to be patient
If you can't win
When the torture never ends
You're searching for glory
I'd die to find it

Some people wish they were someone else
It's not worth it if you lose yourself
Oh, I guess I'm asking for help…

Would you die to find it?
Would you die?

If you're searching for glory, this isn't it
Searching for something good within
It's hard to be patient
If you can't win
When the torture never ends
If you're searching for glory, this isn't it
Searching for something good within
It's hard to be patient
If you can't win
When the torture never ends
You're searching for glory
I'd die to find it


4. ANOTHER YEAR IN THE SHADOWS

I feel like you drift then you disappear
Every time that I ask about your fears
And I need to know how long will this last
I've spent too many nights haunted by the past
It's hard to watch as you disappear

You live like a ghost, but you're still here
Say I love you the most, but you can't hear

And when we die, it's you and I
Maybe we'll finally make things right
'Cause I love you the most, but you can't feel
You can't feel

I'm lost in a haze and it's unclear if we'll survive another year
Am I on my own, I'm fucking lonely
Every day feels like the same old story
It's hard to watch as you disappear

You live like a ghost, but you're still here
Say I love you the most, but you can't hear

And when we die, it's you and I
Maybe we'll finally make things right
'Cause I love you the most, but you can't feel
You can't feel

I think I know what's happening
Never saw the light coming in
Can't go on it's maddening
You'll always be my home

You live like a ghost, but you're still here
Say I love you the most, but you can't hear
And when we die, it's you and I

Maybe we'll finally make things right
'Cause I love you the most, but you can't feel
You can't feel


5. GREATEST ALMOST

She told me that I'd never find someone better
'Til I severed everything she planted in my head
The further and further I distance myself
Can't help but see that I'd be better off dead

I can't get enough, she's wrapped around my neck
Thought I had it all, but now I feel sickened
I feel sickened

I bet you thought you had me, almost got your wish
Thought you'd break me, almost got your wish
I never wanted, I never wanted this
You'll be the last one, the last one that I'd miss
Thought you had me, I'm your greatest almost

Isn't it funny how you told me everything
That I wanted to hear too bad it was all for show
So now I see that you're miserable, sad you made it so difficult
And now you've lost control

I can't get enough, she's wrapped around my neck
Thought I had it all but now I feel sickened
I feel sickened

And I bet you thought you had me, almost got your wish
Thought you'd break me, almost got your wish
I never wanted, I never wanted this
You'll be the last one, the last one that I'd miss
Thought you had me, I'm your greatest almost

And all the time that I wasted feels so long ago
I'm so glad that I faced it
Lesson learned, wouldn't change it
Sometimes our hearts get the best of us
Sometimes we chase the lust, and it gets the best of us

Thought you had me, almost got your wish
Thought you'd break me
Thought you had me, almost got your wish
Thought you'd break me, almost got your wish
I never wanted, I never wanted this
You'll be the last one, the last one that I'd miss
Thought you had me, I'm your greatest almost
I'm your greatest almost, I'm your greatest almost
I'm your...


6. THANK YOU

Thank you for being everything I hated
For being everything I'm not
For never believing in me
For never telling the truth
Thank you!

Come clean, you know exactly what I mean
You know exactly what you did
And I'm better for it
I know you think that I forgave you
You'll find out I fucking made you
There's no one left to save you

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
I'll never take you for granted, thank you
I'll remember this when you fall
And when they're calling out my name
I hope it's driving you insane
'Cause when I needed you the most
You chose to turn and walk away
Thank you!

Don't leave, this is the closure that I need
You're like a cut that wouldn't bleed
For every dream you've stolen
I bet you hope we'd all just give up
I'm never giving up, I'm never letting up
There's no one left to save you

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
I'll never take you for granted, thank you!
I'll remember this when you fall
And when they're calling out my name
I hope it's driving you insane
'Cause when I needed you the most
You chose to turn and walk away
Thank you!


7. NUMB LOVE (MISERY II)

If I stopped to think about you in another life, another life
I'd remember how things turned out and then I'd be alright, I'd be alright
Doesn't make it okay, you won't go away
And I'm afraid that I'm not better
What do you want me to say, got the best of me
And I'm afraid that I'm just bitter
Brought out the worst in me

The death of me was hidden in love for you
I've tried to speak, what am I supposed to do?
So I replied, "I'm just fine"
Must've told a million lies
The death of me was hidden in love for you

Every once in a while I forget who I really am, who I really am
And it's up to me to show them I'm a better man, a better man
I know I've made mistakes and I've thrown away too many years, but I am better
I had to learn from pain and then run away from the one who made me bitter

The death of me was hidden in love for you
I've tried to speak, what am I supposed to do?
So I replied, "I'm just fine"
Must've told a million lies
The death of me was hidden in love for you

The death of me, the death of me
The death of me
The death of me, the death of me

The death of me was hidden in love for you
I've tried to speak, what am I supposed to do?
So I replied, "I'm just fine"
Must've told a million lies
The death of me was hidden in love for you


8. K.F.

You left us with so many questions
A tragic lesson we didn't wanna learn
Left us with all of these voices inside our heads
A pain we didn't earn
Where did you go and do you know how much you are missed?
Where did you go and do you know how much you are missed?

There are things that death can't touch
You're alive in us

Wasn't ready, can you hear me?
Will we ever meet again?
When you left us, had me fucked up
Can we learn to live with it?

We're trying our hardest but the saddest part is how much you are loved
You'd be so damn proud of your brothers for being strong and holding on
Why did you go?
I hope you know how much you are missed
Wherever you go, I hope you know you made a difference

There are things that death can't touch
You're alive in us

Wasn't ready, can you hear me?
Will we ever meet again?
When you left us, had me fucked up
Can we learn to live with it?
We're holding on to your memory
Your heart it lives on in our memories

I promise that you won't be forgotten
You won't be replaced
So don't be afraid of the unknown
We'll keep your memory safe

We're holding on to your memory
Your heart it lives on in our memories

Wasn't ready, can you hear me?
Will we ever meet again?
When you left us, had me fucked up
Can we learn to live with it?
We're holding on to your memory
Your heart it lives on in our memories


9. BURNING YOUR WORLD DOWN

Maybe I'm running from myself
But blaming someone else
And maybe I'm trying to pretend
You mean nothing in the end

I know that
Something in me had to break
God knows that I needed change
You've haunted all my dreams

I'm wide awake, I'm not afraid
I'm letting you know that I won't be the same
When it's too late, too late for blame
I'm letting you know I'm burning your world down piece by piece

I'm sorry, you pushed me to the edge
It's your fault so cope with it
Say sorry but I'm not listenin'
You meant nothing in the end

I know that
Something in you has to break
God knows that you need a change
You've haunted all my dreams

I'm wide awake, I'm not afraid
I'm letting you know that I won't be the same
When it's too late, too late for blame
I'm letting you know I'm burning your world down piece by piece

Piece by piece
I'm burning your world down, burning your world down
I'm coming alive

Something in you has to break
God knows that you need a change
You've haunted all my dreams

I'm wide awake, I'm not afraid
I'm letting you know that I won't be the same
When it's too late, too late for blame
I'm letting you know I'm burning your world down piece by piece
Piece by piece


10. COMFORT & CHAOS

I'll try to explain this
You'll understand if you're chasing greatness
The heartache, the mistakes
Are a part of what it takes to make it

I know you wanna play the part
No giving up when it gets hard
And so I'll be the one to show you
That pain defines you
The pain defines you

The river's flowing over me
I feel the current underneath
So why do I feel safe?
When there's no escaping
Your silence is deafening
When help is all I need
Why do I feel safe?
'Cause it's the only way

You want it, I've got it
Even though they tried to leave me heartless
Misguided, it's sad that
You found yourself alone inside the darkness

It's hard to leave the ones you love
But it's a part of growing up
And so I'll be the one to show you
That pain defines you
The pain defines you

The river's flowing over me
I feel the current underneath
So why do I feel safe?
When there's no escaping
Your silence is deafening
When help is all I need
Why do I feel safe?
'Cause it's the only way

I wanted to be someone who'd never let you down (let you down)
But it's better to try, and fail, than never try at all

The river's flowing over me
I feel the current underneath
So why do I feel safe?
When there's no escaping

The river's flowing over me
I feel the current underneath
So why do I feel safe?
When there's no escaping
Your silence is deafening
When help is all I need
Why do I feel safe?
'Cause it's the only way

'Cause it's the only way
It's the only way, oh
It's the only way
When there's no escaping


11. I'M SORRY YOU'RE SORRY NOW

I'm the one to blame
(I'm sorry you're sorry now)
All I feel is shame
(I'm sorry you're sorry now)

Wish I could turn back time, I'd block out all those friends of mine
That got inside my head
Instead I'm laying here regretting how I made you feel
With all the words I said

But it feels like too little too late
Maybe I deserve to feel this way
Yeah I know it's a little too late
You don't deserve to feel this way

The only thing you said…
"I'm sorry you're sorry now"

I'm the one to blame
(I'm sorry you're sorry now)
All I feel is shame
(I'm sorry you're sorry now)
Everything I want, everything I need
Rebuild all of me
If you could understand I was a broken man
Rebuild all of me

You're feelin justified and deep inside I know you're right
How did I end up here?
'Cause now I'm questioning, clearly something's missing from
What I see in the mirror

But it feels like too little too late
Maybe I deserve to feel this way
Yeah I know it's a little too late
You don't deserve to feel this way

I'm the one to blame
(I'm sorry you're sorry now)
All I feel is shame
(I'm sorry you're sorry now)
Everything I want, everything I need
Rebuild all of me
If you could understand I was a broken man
Rebuild all of me

I'm the one to blame
(I'm sorry you're sorry now)
All I feel is shame
(I'm sorry you're sorry now)
Everything I want, everything I need
Rebuild all of me
If you could understand I was a broken man
Rebuild all of me
Everything I want, everything I need
Rebuild all of me
If you could understand I was a broken man
Rebuild all of me


12. DEATH IS ONLY THE END IF YOU ASSUME THE STORY IS ABOUT YOU

Awaken me
Recovery

Can't seem to find any peace of mind
Thoughts echoing in my head
Your memory is deafening when you're not in my bed

'Cause every time I think about you's like a black cloud
I'm blacking out again
You never told me that it'd be like this, it's too hard to forgive

Awaken me, recovery

I never knew that without you I'd lose the strength I need
Now that you're gone, I can't move on
It's like you're hunting me

'Cause every time I think about you's like a black cloud
I'm blacking out again
You never told me that it'd be like this, it's too hard to forgive

Awaken me, recovery
Ever since you've been gone, feels like I've been deceived
Emptiness, won't you leave
Awaken, awaken me

I used to think that I deserved so much better
Used to think I was so god damn clever
I'm always learning the hard way
I need to learn so that you'll stay

Stay with me
I know I'm a mess, fuck I'm a mess
And I think that I deserve this
If I must confess, be my witness
Be my witness

Awaken me, recovery
Ever since you've been gone, feels like I've been deceived
Emptiness, won't you leave
Awaken, awaken me

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