1. A CLOSE STUDY

The mourners bow their heads
But I am not above
Flow in the evening rain

Despite how hard I try
I'm left just to be
Lonely and afraid

My sober thoughts lie here
I have kept them away
A silence through the glass

It's colder when you're near
Your vanity makes me bleed
Illusions never passed

Your silence helps me pull away
I push farther from my thoughts
You made me pleased with how I feel
But a friend is all I sought
The days just blend into a whole
The pale skies just seem to grow
I have so much to give
More than you'll ever know

My useless pulse is through
My hope is given away
My trust has been misplaced

As I struggle through the haze
if you simply saw my face
I'd find a way to stay

We didn't speak at all
of how we felt
It doesn't matter now

And so you're gone
No one seems to watch
Need to be around

Losing myself
in nowhere
away from your eyes

But what do you care
if I'm not here
Just tell me why


2. IF ONLY

Try so hard to make things right
I need your strength to make it through
I don't think you realise
Just how much that you could do

I can't do right for being wrong
'Cause no matter what I do
If you know better than myself
Put the knowledge please to use

It's not so easy on my own
My smiles they wear so thin
The emptiness surrounding me
I'll gladly welcome in

I know that I should be home
I know it's not for me
I really can't break this alone
If only


3. SO DOWN

I don't want to be a burden
I don't want to be alone
I just seem to keep falling
Through no fault of my own

Soft words fall on deafened ears
And goes in my fragile shell
So numb with no feelings
And so unable to tell

I can't see my way forward
I keep slipping away
Simply trying is not enough
I won't give in this way

There's a light I can follow on
But my way is damned
If I can't find the path ahead
Won't stay 'til I end

Let's sit here for a while
I'll try to crack a smile
I want you here but I'm not sure

Take my hand will you lead
Dress my wounds so I won't bleed
I think we've been through this before

When I'm so down, you're not around
I now know I don't need you here
My broken mind, will someday find
A way to hold my dearest near

Who said this isn't murder
That's just how it feels to me


4. AMBER

In the dark, would you kiss the damned for me, an ever constant stream
So Amber, in our tastes but dare we dream, drink deep the sight of me

So fill me, I feel your warm flesh on my skin, and finally feel my wake
Embracing, and emptiness that pours from you, a weakness I still crave

Tongues that whisper on leaves that fell from you
Rotting in the autumn dew
Broken feelings of how you made me feel,
With your body cover me

Heaven bores from your throat into mine
I taste the sweetness from your amber


5. ALONE WITH MY THOUGHTS

Alone with my thoughts
I hide inside myself
Content with my breathing
Just leave me to drown
An empty room
They line at my door
Such ghosts at my window
Please tell me what for


My transient stupor
And no one to care
Away from it all
Broken away
Your wanton smell
So eager to please
Jaded but strong
What do you see

To have you close
But be almost
To much to bare
When your words are sighs
Let me catch your eyes
And have me there
Over joyed to long
Now that i am gone
Im lost again
Im sure i'll cope
Talk to you i hope
Im not sure when

I sit here away from you
Alone with my thoughts
I sit here away from you
Alone with my thoughts

I sit here away from you
I sit here away from you
Alone with my thoughts


6. A RELATION TO ABSENCE

Its not that I dont care
I simply dont know
Its not that Im not there
I feel safe on my own

Nowhere, nowhere

Its not that I dont see
I just choose to be blind
For me thats always been
No one by my side
Its not that I dont feel
But why get involved
Theres too much that is real
Will you ever be told
Will you ever be told


7. INSIDE THE FLOOD DIARY

I find it hard to speak my mind
I guess I need encouraging
To escape I may need find
A cure for my ruins
Im young enough to change my ways
My futures still not set
I can harbor any blame
And learn from my regrets

I have problems just like you
I wont drink them all away
We dont need to talk them through
I have demons just the same
To keep them in is my remedy
In time I hope they'll fade
Its not the way I know to feel
But allow me such a grace

I try to find the way
To say something
Its always been in vain, when I say something
Could you really help me to, say something
Bring me closer to you, and say something


Ive told you that Im fine
Surely thats enough
Why are you concerned
My diary knows it all
Its healed and Ive designed
A tomb for all I've learned


8. BROKEN WINDOW

No don't walk to the sound of the rain
(cant you leave me?)
A constant tapping at my window pane
So eager to see

I watch the sky behind broken glass
The colours so rusted and hued
Am I transparent, alone in my haze
My thoughts are of you

I turn away from your gaze
And disappear in the crowd
Your eyes open your eyes blind
I don't want to be found

Is it so hard to believe in myself
Im just alone
My face is blank to the outside world
To avoid being hurt
I only speak when Im spoken about
So empty I feel
If Im to drown, I will drown all alone
Its not a big deal

I turn away from your gaze
And disappear in the crowd
Your eyes open your eyes blind
I don't want to be found