Spineshank : Self Destructive Pattern

Industrial Metal / USA
(2003 - Roadrunner Records)
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1. VIOLENT MOOD SWINGS

Motherfuck the way you think
You never made sense anyway
Building up to tear it down
You're codependent on apathy
By design you fucking sterilize - so you desensitize
Make it easier to swallow
Self-involved you fucking took it all - who's gonna take the fall
'cause it's never gonna be the same, change

Don't wanna see, don't wanna think
Don't wanna speak for yourself
It's like a fucking disease and it shows

Repetition paves the way
All for you to weaken and sedate
So contrived and watered down
A fucking shadow of what should have been
Isolate so you can separate - and fucking terminate
To diffuse the situation
Force on me a common enemy - with no identity
Now it's showing your perception too, too

You will never see


2. SLAVERY

I've given up everything 'till it seems so fucking wrong
I've always been tied to you, now the bond is fucking gone
You're just a victim
Of your own decisions
And your desperation
Is like watching an accident

I reject the way you need
To hurt yourself to get to me
I will break away from you
My regret is knowing you

You've thrown away everything and you hope I sympathize
It's kind of like slavery to a world of fucking lies
You're not the victim
Of your own addictions
And your desperation
Now you won't get my sympathy

This feels like slavery
This ends it all
This feels like slavery
This ends it all


3. SMOTHERED

The black and cold reminds me
Of all the distance we have crossed
And if your darkness blinds me
I could never be more lost

But I'm not the one who seeks your protection
I'm not the one to share the disguise
And I'm not the one who reeks of rejection
I'm not the one to tear the same way twice

You push from the inside - smothered
You push from the inside out - smothered

Have all your walls surround me
They're closing in they block my sight
The violence around me
Found me when I could not fight

But I'm not the one to take your direction
I'm not the one who wears the disguise
And I'm not the one to share your reflection
I'm not the one you break the same way twice

I will never win
I will never win with you

I read you
I fear you round up no more than you know
I hate you
I still do everytime you let me go


4. CONSUMED (OBESESSIVE COMPULSIVE)

Punctured lungs
I'm out of breath, this time I'm suffocating
I've had enough now, too numb there's no resisting
Becoming one, with all your failure
No coming back now, this bridge has been burned

Try to cut the cord
Tear away or I will never be the same
Trust breaks like bone
Violence shows
Reject and throw it all away

Consume the fight in me
Suspend reality
If it stops the room from spinning
Repressed identity
Escape reality

You killed the cause, this keeps repeating
Live through the loss now, redeem your enemies
Recycled thoughts, feed your delusion
Your lie outgrows you, become it's own truth

Still it seems so wrong
The way you think
And I will never understand
Faith broke like bone
Weakness shown
You lost throw it all away

Puncture my lungs

I've never felt your emptiness
It makes me sick now
Obsessive with your reasons
Compulsive with your failure

Try to cut the cord
Tear away or I will never be the same

How could you live with youself


5. BEGINNING OF THE END

The irritation we're pretending not to show
Has replaced the motivation
That I had not long ago
I know that

I don't ever want to be the one
to make you forget it
to make you resent it
to make you repress it
I don't ever want to be

It's the beginning of the end
And I don't know where we lost control
It's the beginning of the end
And I know that I am all alone

Interrogation has replaced the trust we had
Your misguided accusations
Helping me to turn my back
I know that

I don't ever want to be the one
to make you divide it
to make you deny it
to make you deprive it
I don't ever want to be

I thought that we would find our way
I thought our life would be ok
I thought that you believed in me
But now it seems so far away

The life we knew before is gone
There is no compromising
The life you save will be your own
To find your inner senses


6. FORGOTTEN

You're the one who
You're the one who steals the life from
I'm the one who feels the falling
I believe you're nothing but a problem
Everything is so fake
You're just a motherfucking sight to see
And time will block the vision
Life with you is so vague
It's like I'm living in a dream

I have wondered why this always happens
Everything just falls away
Soon you'll be the one who is forgotten
It's so close but it's so far away

You're the one who
You're in disbelief of what you
Thought you could achieve or try to
Once I thought this life was never ending
Must've been my mistake
You're just a motherfucking accident
Offending yet amusing
I should have known that you
And your intensions weren't for me

You're the one who fed the violence
I'm the one who broke the silence
I will sew the hole you left inside me
Leaving you in the past
I will release


7. SELF-DESTRUCTIVE PATTERN

Feel the tension of rejection
Bleach it out with therapy
The confusion exseclusion
Turns into my deformity

Never trust it, maladjusted
I've become my own worst enemy
The aggravation in my fixation
Keeps it all controlled inside of me

See it all collapsing, it's all around me
This condition is killing me
The isolation still surrounds me
In remission but it's killing me

It's what I can't control
What I can't control
What I can't control in me

Born again I feel so hollow
Torn again my senses fade
Mourn again without the sorrow
Born again without the blame

Force a new sollution, it's all inside me
In remission but it's killing me
Evolution is divided
In remission but it's killing me

I can't increase the treatment
It won't suppress the feelings
Or stop the way I'm getting
Used to the pain

Breaking down
Self-destructive pattern


8. TEAR ME DOWN

You wear a cheap disguise
Your only vice until the end
Don't have an alibi
You never try you just condemn
You pressure everything
You never bring, you take away
I can no longer breathe
You've taken me and everything too

Far, to me it's so disgusting
Wrong, I'll push myself away
Far, my sanity is rusting
Wrong, I look the other way

This is a war I can't fight
I can't let you tear me down
I will ignore all these lies
You will never tear me down

I sit and contemplate
How you sedate what's in my head
I will not instigate
Or emulate I won't pretend
You'll never understand
You just demand to get your way
How all of this began
I never ran and now it's gone too

Never tear me down


9. STILLBORN

I don't think you want to be the one to see inside yourself
I don't think you want to understand that it clouds up your mind
I don't think you want to undermine
I don't think you want the bottomline
I don't think you want to see inside this goal that you've created

No, you don't even listen
You don't even hear me until I scream at you
Now, I see your intention
A new intervention just to wear me down
Breed, selected division
You're on a collison course with your beliefs
Find a new evolution
You're full of sollutions now that you're born again

Reborn like a motherfucking stillborn
All devoid of feeling reborn
All devoid of feeling

I don't think you'll ever be the one to take the blame yourself
I don't think you'd even want to try to see through different eyes
I don't think you want to sacrifice
I don't think you want to fucking try
I don't think you want to step outside this lie that's been inbedded

Think, it's all a delusion
Relieve your confusion when you put me down
Fear, afraid to accept it
You only defend it 'cause it's handed down
Faith, it's all on the surface
It's only convenient when you follow through
No, I'm not gonna give in
You're already beaten when you're born again

It's time to make the cut
And let you bleed for yourself on your own
Of all the things I need
Is just for you to stop from judging me

Sick
So get the fuck away from me
You make me sick
So stay the fuck away from me

Reborn like a motherfucking stillborn


10. FALLS APART

Now your failure feeds the contempt
I can't sedate the way you break me down
I can't relieve the pain
I can't reduce the failure you've become
I can't accept the blame now

Now your failure feeds the contempt

You imitate the things you think
That isolate what I want
I can't get through it's never you
It's showing through and it's wrong

You pushed me too far and I'm tired now
It all falls apart now I'm finally down

I hate the way you turn this all around
So you can bleach your shame
Apology is not an option now
It won't erase the blame now

Now your failure feeds the contempt

It's nothing new I'll suffer through
It's all in you an you're wrong
I compensate, you mutilate
It separated and we're done

I can't sedate the way you're breaking me
You're breaking me down


11. FALLBACK

Give me life, give me faith
Give me something to see
Give me life, give me change
Give me somewhere to be
Give me love, give me hate
Tell me what to believe
I don't care who you're imitating

You think the world's beginning
In truth it's really ending
My disillusioned mind is wasting away

Until I break, until I bend
Until I fall back on my faith again
Until my world is caving in
Until I fall back on my faith again

Keep me dumb, keep me small
Keep me closer to you
Keep me still, keep it all
Keep away from the truth
Keep me here, keep me cool
'cause it's already done
Everything is so intimidating

You are the one reflection
Created false rejection
I let you in and now you won't go away

I think the end is closer now
You took the life inside me now
Is this the way you're checking out?
You are the one who's running now

You are the one reflection
Created false rejection
I let you in and now you won't go away

Until I break


12. DEAD TO ME

Put on another face, they always take the place
Of all the things that you have become
Your instability is nothing new to me
It's always something that made you what you are

You're dead inside
You killed your pride
I won't be there
And no one cares
Your insecurity
The failure that it brings
And all your misery
Keeps coming back to me

Save yourself the pain
And go away
For the rest of my life
Bury you today
I separate
For the rest of my life

You give me countless lies and hope I sympathize
You hit my only nerve and that is all it took
Separation now
Let it go, you let it go
New evolution
Thrown away
You're thrown away, you're gone

I'm done with you
Dont follow through
I won't be there
'cause you don't care
The way you're suffering
Is all the same to me
Your cred-ibility
Killed your reality

Your delusion
Claim confusion
Easier to pass the blame on
All your hatred
Seems so wasted
You're the one who's dead inside me

You're fucking dead to me

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