1. WITHERING ATTACHMENT

I tried following you
but lost your shape in the mist
I sought forgiveness in you
but found only pride

I smothered my breath and will to live
but the flame still shone too bright
So I came here into this haven
to wait for relief

This place of nothingness
draws me near
it keeps me weak
it fills me with fear

I have always had a key
but no doors to be opened
I had something to say
but no one ever listened

This place of nothingness
draws me near
it keeps me weak
it fills me with fear

I drown my sorrows
in sorrows of another
and spread my misery
among others in the gutter


2. DECREPITUS

Decrepitus, I live in the age when all dies
I spoke my last words thousands of years ago
I have survived.
And I live on...

I witness the ever-present exodus of souls
the world keeps on turning
but I stand still

And I watch them leave

Aeons pass and all the wrath
that swelled in the dried blood of my veins
is bursting out

Everyone is afraid to die
while i was born cursed to survive
I'd rather die

I've build my own cenotaph
out of human fear
wrung in aeonic apathy
I'd burn down the world to feel
just to feel

I'd kill to feel

Immortal, forlorn, so far from human...


3. FEW MORE PICTURES TILL DEATH

Farewell!
We won't meet again

I take a step into nothing
I take the last journey
The earth is closing fst
All my bones are breaking

I feel free
I break apart
I am leaving
I'm falling asleep

This world
is not mine anymore
the whole life was
just a sullen feeling.
something's been always wrong
in the rotten core of being
I felt real
only close to dying

Farewell!
I am pulled towards my ending
by the weight of doubts about myself
This is the only way

I take a step into nothing
I take the last journey
the earth is closing fast
All my bones are breaking.

Farewell!
I am pulled towards my ending
by the weight of my own consciousness
this is the only way

I join legions of the sleeping


4. OF THE BOND

I am gone, but I live in your memories
violent twist of fate has made me whole
it has made me cold

Now my body decays
but my soul is bound to yours
I wander between worlds
All this in spite of my will

Death is not sad but ambivalent
No words can describe it
Death is the only true cure
Cure for all the pain
It's a sleep in the softest sheets...

You kept kissing my grave
all your tears were in vain
I hated you for imprisoning me
in your mortal world

You made me hollow
Now years have passed
all the hate is gone
I'm not desperate anymore
I disappear as you forget

As the morning fog is dissolved by the sun
this circle of life is made whole

You wept over ashes
which fertilized the soil
There are no words beyond
Just this feeling of loss
Knowledge that if I rest in peace
I will cease to feel


5. THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE SUFFERING

You drown in the sea of grey
insensibly living day to day

You recall feeling alive
Now you just let things slide
You remember there used to be
some distant memory

Then out of nowhere came the brightest light
showing the void inside
Then out of nowhere came the searing light
showing the void inside

The knowing turns you pale
as you watch yourself in pain
The truth, unfolding
you have been living your life
in vain

You wish there was a way
to feel whole again

Then out of nowhere came the brightest light
showing the void inside
Then out of nowhere came the searing light
showing the void inside

Colors fade to grey
and you watch yourself in pain
The truth, set in stone
you have been living your life
in vain


6. A TOUCH OF INSANITY

It seems I'm walking little high
Not touching the ground anymore
It's like waking up from a dream
Which lasted over centuries

My soul leaves body once for all
I’ll never touch reality again
I choose Icarus's fate
I lose something I never loved

Deep in my mind I know

The world around me is just a delusion
But the way I see things now reveals
I'm getting mad

I succumb to psychosis
Falling prey to schizophrenic fear
Afraid of my own shadow
Deafened by my many selves

World is just a state of mind
Life is just a state of mind

Deep in my mind I know
The world around me is just a delusion
But the way I see things now reveals
I'm getting mad

I succumb to psychosis
Falling prey to schizophrenic fear
Afraid of my own shadow
Deafened by my many selves

It seems I’m flying little high
The lunacy is lurking nigh
Faceless shadows circle around
I join them and I see the truth
And see I have never left
The world, my body


7. PURGATORIUM

Starting to sense my flesh again,
Limbs laying motionless, blood-stained

My weary eyes get impaled
By lucid daggers of sunlight
I wrench my hands and perceive
Guardians of my free leave
Ironbound, imprisoned and weak
In this room, so still and bleak

Where am I? What do you want?
Let me see you, you fucking bastards!
I want to get out! I won't beg you!
I won't give in!
You have no right to do all this
To me

Innocent...
I am innocent!
May Heaven and Hell witness my purity

Nay, I have to seek
What ill deeds keep me here
Shall this be my penance
For stars that I put out?

My sins of buried past
Grow strong and relentless
For crimes shall be avenged
My prey shall revoke my wrongs

Come, pluck me to flesh,
See my bare skin, always intact
Unlike my soul, forever doomed
Now come, take your revenge
Feed on my blood

Cease my vile heart's beat
And rape my best memories

Should this be my end,
The closing verse, so be it then.


8. THE DIVINE VOID

I'm just an empty shell of a man
I don’t look down
Fears in the back of my head
Overwhelming

I dance with a fairy of glass
I succumb to her smile
With anxiety about her fall
We dance, we spin like a hurricane

These scary visions have flown through the void
Since I recall
And every shard of beauty decays
Turns into ruin

I want to get out

Days pass in a melancholic blur
One yawn takes year
Those voices whispering in my head
Keep reminding me that silence calls the storm.

It's hard to think straight while
I am attracted by my beautiful
Schizophrenic universe
I embrace the new being

I worship infinity
With touch of cold
Between facing mirrors I fly
I am the fairy of cullets glued together

I worship the order of void
Which rules the realm I live in

...and every shard of beauty decays
Turns into ruin


9. EVERYTHING ELSE IS A LIE

I felt it coming all the time
Everpresent underpressure in the air
Inhaling greyness
Meeting creatures designed to a single purpose
Just to breathe

So I'm facing the fate
I return to the nature's bosom
To the only truth I've ever known
The flow of time abates

In spite of the scary visions
I don't care I march into abyss
Into abyss

Hopeless to understand what I see
I sense something primeval rising inside
Animal instinct whispers in my ear
Something most of us deny

What if I die?
What if everything else is a lie?
What if I die?
Will it hurt?

When sun stops above the horizon
My vision is drawn to the burning globe
I am entirely calm
While everything is collapsing
I realize my being was just a state of mind

The truth is coming
The truth is to sleep

Redemption is coming

What if, what if we die?
Will it hurt and I remain conscious?
What if everything else is a lie?

The truth is coming
Sleep, the redeemer


10. SINTHESIS

World is just a state of mind

Our souls are bound together

If we die
If we take
A step into nothing

There is no victory or defeat
Or existential peace

If we survive and never die
We will turn into rocks

And everything else
Is a lie

Everything else
Is a lie

So keep on worshiping infinity