1. MISERY ENTWINES

Once I was so fond of you
Graced by your presence for a while
The things you are and the things you do
Have left me here where misery entwines
Once I was so fond of you
But now I long to feel alive
The things you are and the things you do
Have left me here where misery entwines
The way you turned away
Reminds me of my failure day by day
The way you turned away
Reminds me of my failure
Once I was so damn fond of you
A bastard chosen just for a ride
The things you are and all the things you do
Have left me here where misery entwines


2. GRAINS OF SAND

Speak up, my dear
I can't hear your lovely voice
For the church-bell tolls
When you whispered in my ear
It could lull me fast asleep
But words do disappear
I think it's time to understand
We're just tiny grains of sand
Falling from God's hand
At times I fumble around in fear
'Cause the smoke here doesn't clear
And I can't feel you near
And I know, I know, I know
There are certain ways to go
And different faces to show
Words won't set your heart in motion, just leave it dead and cold
Because the flesh is weak but the spirit's weaker so we're only flesh to hold
Pain will find its way to your soul like a maggot through the peel
It’s like a straight-shot arrow that cuts to the marrow and makes too numb to feel
The day I dropped my eyes was the day you took my hand
And the mournful tears I cried turned to mud when merged with sand
Way too numb


3. HEART CARVED INTO MINE

Eight savage days on separate ways
Dragging forth our broken chains
I’m not afraid, not a bit
But does it really feel the same?
Words fail to explain
Just say a word and mean it, of course
In this sorry state of yours
There’s no wrong, there is no right
Are you still untouchable?
We’re running around in circles
Imprison me, and I swear I’ll drop my defense, I’ll do This isn’t me, I repent of what I’ve done to you
If only life revealed my options by
Unveiling all the seams
As I could barely read the signs of yours
And touch your buried dreams
I started seeing you with different eyes
With your heart carved into mine
If only life revealed my options by
Your suicide
Now you proudly claim that you have learned
Something out from this
About ignorance and self-defense
Are these the things you’ve missed?
Brace yourself for more!
Hate explains itself, it’s nothing more
A rusty blade against your throat
A self-portrait in a rotting frame
For a whore worth dying for
Gazing into the great unknown
In reality, there’s no brand new start
In reality, they don’t care who you are
In reality, it’s all just wasted time
In reality, it’s all undone
Oh, but still we linger on
Singing our broken songs
Never truly awake
But not asleep


4. BEYOND THE LIGHTS

“…the lights will go out.”


5. WITHOUT A SOUND

Today I passed you by. Without a sound. Though it seems I laid my head. Beside you to sleep last night. It must have been a dream serene. Your hand in mine. But the rays of daybreak soon. Illumined a strange new scene. Sad ways we follow down. With every step we're moving more apart. As If we'd known it for sure. Right from the start.
The rules are so undefined
In this game with no name
We set our aims and make our moves
So deaf, mute and endlessly blind
I'll try not to think of you
No single thought
Anyway, in this dim-lit place of mine
There's barely enough room for two
Sad ways we follow down
Only empty words echo in my mind
It seems that the colors fade
With the memories we leave behind
Sad ways we follow down
With every step we're moving more apart
Passing like strangers in the mist
Without a sound
What were your reasons for
Not calling me, not sending me a word
Ignoring my screaming eyes
And leaving the signs unseen and unheard
What were my reasons for
Not calling you, not dropping you a line
If forever means such a short time
Won't everything else be but a lie
Sad ways we follow down
Those empty words are needless to repeat
Can't you see our feelings turn to gray
And die away like the flowers at your feet?
Sad ways we follow down
And so I'm passing you - a gray figure in the crowd
With a verse I'm singing you softly…


6. ESCAPE DESIGN

Faith, all we need is faith
To strive against the way
We're destined to walk along
Weak, we became much too weak
Numb to act, to speak
Just vessels of flesh descending
Chasing illusions once again
'Til someone takes the pain
'Til someone takes that blame away from me
Chasing illusions once again
Will night erase the day
And will someone take me far away from here
Play, let's seize the roles we play
'Til nothing will remain
But to channel all our hatred
Bleed, oh how I want you to bleed
For every conscious deed
That made my train of thought derail
The thrills you once desired
All the dreams you’ve ever had
Still lurk around the corner
Stir and echo in your head
Like the creepy childhood monsters
That used to claw beneath your bed
They’ll eat you up and choke you down
If they catch you – you’ll be better off dead


7. WHEN I NEED YOU MOST

A ray of hope delayed, I won’t hesitate
Certain things don't need a proof
She's coming near, I'm starting to feel an urge
To trace her every move
I’m blurred inside, gone insane again
Out of time and space
The crowd is drowning out her answer
It will never reach my ears
You’ll find me there where you reposed
But where are you when I need you the most
So many times I’ve dealt with loss
But I'm still here unlike you
To calm my lids I'll keep them closed
Oh, where are you when I need you the most
I still feel so strained every time I try to decipher your lines
…every time I try to decipher your lies
To keep it warm, keep it alive
Your fragile image in my mind
I’ll sacrifice my lonely nights
The words I whispered half asleep
Trembling as I could hardly breathe
They weren't made for you to know
Another face, another taste
Another name is to recall
My fantasy drifts away with me
Far off from every shore
But now I'm back, I wish you were here to stay
Where it all began
My fevered dreams – now only memories
But the pain will never leave
You’ll find me there where you reposed
But where are you when I need you the most
So many times I’ve dealt with loss
But I'm still here unlike you
To calm my lids I'll keep them closed
Oh, where are you when I need you the most
If all remains unsaid I’ll never taste the wine of your desire
…Never taste the bile of your denial
To keep it warm, keep it alive
Your fragile image in my mind
I’ll sacrifice my lonely nights
The words I whispered half asleep
As my heart tended to burst with every beat
They weren't made for you to know
I just let myself go


8. MIGHT BE RAIN

I'm ready to leave much to your relief
Heading for the road that leads me to nowhere
The pain inside you - the pain I'll never see
Has made me feel I'm somehow not who you wanted Dripping down my face it might be rain
Will I see you again?
I'd tell you all these things once more in vain, my dear
Just to make you feel that I'm here
In your world surreal, you're too afraid to feel
But all you need is to simply reach out your hand
So I'm ready to leave, turn away in disbelief
Heading for the only road that’s been left for me
Dripping down my face it might be rain
Will I see you again?
I'd show you all these things once more in vain, my love Oh, in vain, my love
From the earth below
To the skies above
It might be rain, my dear
Just to make you feel…


9. PERMANENCE

We quickly steal a glance
While rushing through the trees
Trading childhood memories
For sticks and stones to hurt
Sixty miles an hour
Or half an inch a year
I feel something drawing near
Is this the way we learn?
If we really got a chance – let’s take it
Delusions make no sense – don’t fake it
Your words sound clearly now – I’d believe them
But they all lack permanence – so I’m leaving
If life is just a game – redeal me
Your arguments and claims – won’t feed me
My head is full of thoughts – unspoken
Is this the time to break – or be broken
I’d be wiser now
And spare myself the pain
Instead of loosing you again
I’d find myself anew
Swarming around my head
A scent upon the breeze
The sweet smell of gasoline
It makes me dream away
Just stop for a second
Regardless of who you are
Realize your fallacies
Let me salvage you now


10. OVER

Lean your head to the wall
From far you'll hear the music
So terribly confusing and forlorn
Another year has gone
The rooms once filled with laughter
Are so silent since he's left her alone
“Just move your limbs to the beat
For this could be our last waltz
It's cold outside so take warm clothes if you leave”
The stylus jumps with a scrape
In her worn out wedding dress
She's clutching invisible hands before it's too late
She pours him a cup of tea
With a lonely tear in her eye
But that childlike smile implies insanity
“It's something you wouldn't understand.”
She turned to him and shook her head
Driven by words he couldn't withstand no more
He went his way as a broken man
“It's over now”


11. THE LAST WALTZ

(Instrumental)