If you leave her now
You are never going to see her again
Never
Now she's going to need a shoulder to cry on
She's going to need a friend
She's going to need a pillow case
Something to put those tears on
And I've got some purple satin laces
One second later than the second you're gone
She's going to miss you at first
But then she's going to buy me things
That's when I'm going to a lay her
Across my piano stool and sing to her

Honey, I tried to tell him
That you were the marrying kind
A faithful one-man woman
The best he would ever find
I guess he wasn't trying to hear that
So there ain't nothing left to say
I tried too tell him if you run to me
I won't run away

If you leave her now
You'll never get another glimpse
I'm going to lace her with enough ice to recap the polls
There might be another solar eclipse
She's going to find out what I like on my eggs, my bathwater,
How I like to be touched
I'm going to put her on the same diet Missy went on
You know she eat too much
Tonight, she's going to miss you at first
But then she'll get used to me
All of the tricks I would try
To make her take this ring and make love to me

Honey, I tried to tell him
That you were the marrying kind
A faithful one-man woman
The best he would ever find
I guess he wasn't trying to hear that
So there ain't nothing left to say
I tried to tell him if you run to me
I won't run away