DISC 1

1. THE SAME RIVER

Part I (instrumental)

Part II (instrumental)

Part III (Again)

/she/

I stay... I swear... I am... I can...

Please take a walk with me
Let me know - Am I to blame?

As you know
I've always loved you and I know I will always love...

Part IV (I am)

I am your fear, hope
I am your grief, joy
I am your deed, word
I am your hate, love

I know... I can... Wanna stay...


2. OUT OF MYSELF

/he/

I don't feel quite myself
I think I'm losing heart
I'm sick and tired of all those words
Voices in my head
I think I have become
Another suffering of my soul

You ask me how I'm feeling
Looking in my eyes
Hearing only what you want to hear
I'm holding my breath
Holding my time
I wish you knew how I was hurt

I'm really scared of getting lost in real life
So please stop asking me for more
Let me get this straight
Let me get this right
I need a place to be alone

I need a place to be
I need a breath to take
Don't wanna scream with my mouth shut
It leads us nowhere
Stop looking at me like that
This is not what I had in mind

I'm really scared of getting lost in real life
So please stop asking me for more
Let me get this straight
Let me get this right
I need a place to be alone

Let me get this straight
Let me get this right

Let me go
You've just helped to get me out of myself


3. VOLTE-FACE

I have spent all my previous life
Waiting for something else to start
Now I see that I have felt so numb
To everything that passed me by

Need to go land on my own two feet
Need to change my life this way
Need to free my mind of memories
Watch them how they screw my brain

The time that has come
Convinced what I feel inside
In darkness I float
How far is the light?

Inside – fearland
Don’t want you to know
Outside – fearless
I do want you to watch
Do you mind?

Would you step aside
Make way for me
Can’t you see I’m dead set on doing this

Enough of dreamless nights
Enough of sleepless nights
I’m the way I am
Get out of my sight
DO YOU MIND?

You can put me in the lion’s cage
You can take my soul
Give a second name
But I don’t intend to stop my fight
And I’m not afraid
NOT AFRAID


4. RAINBOW BOX

Medication Time
My favorite part
Hello Rainbow Box
Need you to survive

White is for my health
Blue for happiness
Thanks to Red I live
With a shade of smile on my face

Alpha waves appeared
I’ve crossed a line
Sea of memories
Feel I’m going down

Achromatic day
Got choked by colored pills
I thought that I could
But the icy water closed over me

You know
Want to feel alive
Need you more
Anytime

You know
Want to feel alive
Need you more
Anytime


5. 02 PANIC ROOM

Used to be my Panic Room
The other side of me
Where I slept and woke by turns
And nothing seemed real

I was feeding on your life
Peering through the hole
And it scared me out
Someday
You would knock on my door

Sweet shelter of mine
I’m freezing without
Sweet shelter of mine
I’m dying without

Cover up my twisted thoughts
Shattered all around
Muffled sounds
Recurring dreams
Melatonin smile

Used to be my 302
The other side of light
Trap of my own
That helped me deal
With what I lost inside

Sweet shelter of mine
I’m freezing without
Sweet shelter of mine
I’m dying without
Sweet shelter of mine

***

I’ve tried to make self-portraits before
But they always turn out so contrived
I’ve spent too much time
Correcting light and shade
Hiding wrinkles
Blurring scars

I’ve tried to make self-portraits before
Through my eyes
Just see myself
Now I know
I’m not in denial
That I need someone else
To see me


6. I TURNED YOU DOWN

I turned you down so hastily
And it’s tearing me apart
In my heart of hearts I’m screaming
In my heart of hearts I cry
And it’s cold
So cold

I turned you down
Oh, I turned you down so thoughtlessly
And it’s tearing me apart
In my heart of hearts I’m screaming
In my heart of hearts I cry
How I wish you told me that

I wish you’d told me that before
I wish you’d told me that before
I wish you’d told me that before

I turned you down


7. REALITY DREAM III

(instrumental)


8. THE CURTAIN FALLS

I know what I'm really like...
I'm bleeding...
I don't mind...

That was very foolish of me
I can do nothing now

Light shines in the darkness
I don't wanna go
Wish I could turn back time
Oh my Guardian Angel
Take me away from here
I think I'm ready now
But still can't make up my mind

Memories of yesterday
Hopes left behind
I have to fade away now
There's no other way out

The curtain falls...



DISC 2

1. PARASOMNIA

Lying here on the floor
Starting to come around
What you did Mr. Hyde
What you got me into this time

There’s blood on my hands
Emptiness in my mind
I don’t remember my name
Don’t recall who I am

What’s wrong with me now
I’m shying from the light
I start to realize
Feel I’m falling down
Every inch of my skin
Feel the pain I saw
The self – I was running away from – just back!

Lost the light of day
Lost my picture of you
This nightmare I was afraid of
Just becoming the truth

Oh no
What have I done
Can’t just put it all behind me
Can’t afford to lose my mind

Oh no
What have I done
You don’t know how much I need to
Find a way to bring you back

Lying here on the floor
Starting to come around
What you did Mr. Hyde
What you got me into this time

Drugged from sleep
In front of the mirror
Shrugging off the darkest fear
Keep asking myself the same question
When did I turn to this side of me
When did I turn to this side

I need to find a way
To bring you back again…


2. SECOND LIFE SYNDROME

Part One – From hand to mouth

From day to day
From hand to mouth
We’re turning around
Vicious ritual

Getting used to it all
Falling down again
We’re waiting for
The decrees of providence

I don’t want to waste
Any more of my life
Live from day to day
Live from hand to mouth

Facing the light
I brush aside your plans
I’m going to have
It all my own way

And when that all shattered I felt I’d broken my fall
Couldn’t pretend that I felt strong about us anymore
Without your help I finally started to live my own life
I just want you to know this time

Part Two – Secret Exhibition

I just want to feel your sigh on my neck
Want to feel your breath
Feel your need to stay
You don’t know my name
Don’t know my face
Only thoughts I share in my secret place

Secret exhibition
Cure for loneliness
I’ve ground to a halt
There’s no turning back
You know there are things I just can’t forget
You’ve helped me so much
To learn to be detached

But when that all shattered I felt I’d broken my fall
Couldn’t pretend that I felt strong about us anymore
Without that help I finally started to live my own life
And I know I don’t need you now

Secret exhibition
Cure for loneliness
Life is much too short to be whiled away with tears
Secret exhibition
Cure for loneliness
I erase you now
I don’t need you now
I erase you now with all of my past

Part Three – Vicious Ritual (instrumental)


3. BACK TO THE RIVER

(instrumental)


4. CONCEIVING YOU

I’ve been watching you
Not waiting for the right moment to make the first move
Do you want to know
Why I keep avoiding your eyes
And why I’m running away?
It’s crazy, I know

I’ve been conceiving you for too long

Or maybe I’m destined to be alone?
Or maybe there’s someone who will understand
That I’m not able to share my world?
I’m still running away
It’s crazy, I know

I’ve been conceiving you for too long
If only I could change all things around

Still conceiving you all along…

I’ve been conceiving you for too long
If only I could change all things around
I’ve been conceiving you for too long
I’ve grown used to that

Still conceiving you all along…


5. BEFORE

I’ve become resistant to myself
To my weaknesses and pain
I’ve become the one who wants to live
and just feel alive again

I’ve changed myself

I’ve become addicted to being strong
Started out my second life
And the remnants of your tears and smiles
Shift deleted from my mind

Without knowing how it hurts…
I feel safe

Without knowing how it hurts…
I feel safe

Is this
What I
Really
Wanted?


6. ULTIMATE TRIP

Even if I had my life to live
Over again
Even if I had my life to live
Over again
I would keep coming back to the same place
Waiting on the shore for me to return

I’m nourished by
Your day’s residues
Seeing through the veil
Unclose your mind

I’m the reflection of
All your waking lives
Narcoleptic sins
Unclose your mind

In the depth of me
Can control your life
With your shell around
Unclose your mind

I’m your amber light
Way of passing time
Movement of your eye
Unclose your mind

I’m your better life
Hidden desire
Never Neverland
Unclose your mind

We could be so good
Broken looking-glass
So much left unsaid
Fearless on top… Fearless on top…
Fearland at heart… Fearland at heart… Fearland at heart…

And now you will be my soul mate
I’m going to make you up again…
It’s ok now, but…
I don’t know how long it needs to last Sooner or later
I will need you to come and get me out of here
Sooner or later
I will need you to come and get me
Sooner or later
I will need you

Sooner or later

Closed inside
I have my life back

Trapped inside
I give my life back