1. SYNTHETICS

I want out
I didn't ask for this fucking life
To tell the truth
I would rather die
Than open my eyes
One more time

Kill me
I'm so sick of all the games
You play
It's driving me insane

Sink or swim
Giving in
Let's go through this again
Pull me down
Let me drown
No Medicine
I must be insane
because day by day
All that I love
Becomes what I hate

I must be insane
Because day by day
All the things that I love
Become the things that I hate

Anyone can make traces of someones art
But its like having the body
Without having the heart

Isn't it strange
How we grew our separate ways
You live behind a lie
And wear a fake face
No one knows
The real you
You hate me
Because I do


2. FROM NOTHING

All that I am
Came from nothing

No lies
Story of my life
I lost it all right in front of my eyes
No time to sympathize
Push it down, internalize
Endless nights
Locked inside my mind
Nowhere to go
Just keep it to yourself

I am alive
For the first time
I didn't leave you
You left yourself behind

Tell me something
If it wasn't for the name
Would you still treat me the same
Or would you turn and walk away

There is nothing
That I'd enjoy more
Than if things could just go back
To the way they were before

But no
This will never be okay
Even when you say you'll stay
You're always gone anyway

So please
Don't make a promise you can't keep
No need to try to cry me
I promise I'm not losing sleep

All my life
I've been waiting to die
Night by night I dream of suicide
I realize
I've been trying to hide
From the monster within me
Dwelling inside

Why oh why
Did it have to be me
I've asked this endlessly
But now I finally see
I am the one to blame
For the pain and the scars
I couldn't handle my mind
So I tore it apart

If I don't believe in myself
Why would anyone else


3. PSYCHOSIS

Watch me as I fade away
Dissipate
Every day
Falling further into gray

Guess I’m shit out of luck
As always
Rotting away
Counting the days
Held against my will
By my self
Festering inside
I can’t cut you out

Stuck in a rut
I gave up everything
Wasn’t enough
Bleed me dry
What do you want
I’ll give you anything
Just let me go
I won’t survive

You’d think that
Somewhere, someone
Just one person
Could understand the burden
That lies deep below the surface

I hear, silence
Nothing, no one
No hand to hold
Always alone

Vivid visions
I have memories hidden
Nightmares do not compare
I’ve lived through pain and fear
I would never wish on another
For every moment
I hope you fucking suffer

I will never recover

Permanently a part of me

You can’t give until you take some
I wasn’t born a monster I became one
Bow down to the great one
I am king
You are a fake one


4. ISOLATION

Time to time
I reminisce and I realize
I have felt this way for my entire life
Crawling, falling, it’s too late
This is my fate
All compassion is
Just skin deep

Isolated existence
No matter how close theres distance
This isn’t what I envisioned
Prison built from my decisions
I tried and I cannot escape
Can’t throw memories away
They replay in my dreams
Twisted, tortured mind of mine
Didn’t happen overnight
It was molded over time

I found my face
Back in my hands
Begging for a
Chance again

If my mind was a house
I would paint the windows black
No one can see inside
I have too much to hide
If my heart is my home
I will lock every door
You can’t trust anyone anymore


5. MARIONETTE

The things that hurt the most
Are what we show the least
Just expose the surface
Always out of reach
Complete disconnection
Broken from the rejection
Blinded by misconception
Torn in two by my perception

The world underneath my feet
Is a prison to me
Of which I can’t break free
Captive by my own thoughts
I ripped out my heart
Just to watch it rot
They may hate me
Truth is there’s a purpose
I tried my best not to wrong a soul
Who didn’t fucking deserve it

You are a dog
All bark no bite
On shoulders of giants
Comparing height
It isn’t hard to see you
Behind the curtain
Pretending to be a
Perfect fucking person

God hides its face
Because it’s ashamed
Of the world that its made

Mindless puppet
You’d follow anything
You are a slave to
The god of nothing


6. DISMAL

3 days and 4 nights awake
I don't know how much more I can take
As I lay astray, inside my head
waiting for my last breath
I hope you know, I’m miserable
I’ve never, felt so cold
It’s like breathing knives
It’s just like swallowing nails

Breathing knives
Swallowing nails

Once again in love
With the feeling of
Being numb
Everything is fucked up
Can’t overcome
The cravings for the poison
Now matter how much
There is never enough

I can’t overcome
Cravings for the poison
No matter how much
There is never enough

4 days and 5 nights awake
I can't keep my thoughts straight
Cant measure the pressure, about to break
Take more what difference does it make

Need an escape
Take me away
I love the pain
Coursing through my veins
don’t hesitate
The longer you wait
The more time it takes
To forget everything

Brain dead
Wasted
Dismal
Lifeless

This is not who I am
This is not who I want to be

When I look in my eyes I see
Nothing looking back at me
All this time how did I not see
I manifested my misery

All I can do
Is rebuild the foundation
Abandoning my life
Is my only salvation

Brain dead
Wasted
Dismal
Lifeless


7. SAMSARA

Hide your eyes
There's no need to see
What to read when all is read
This is where the story ends

Wasting away
My soul decays
Yesterday
Such a distant memory

Words cannot describe
Pain I have inside
Even though I know you're no longer in my life
I still feel your hand in mine

Summer has turned to Winter in a day
All of my blue skies have now turned to grey

No, where to go now
Nothing left for me to give
Oh, I'm supposed to let go
So you can keep your grip
Go, Find someone else
To ruin with selfishness
Broken, my counterpart
Torn from within

I lost my identity
To find me
Beneath the scars
Between broken parts
I finally found my heart

Rotting inside
Abysmal eyes
Wasting away
Yesterday is such a distant memory

No, where to go now
Nothing left for me to give
Oh, I'm supposed to let go
So you can keep your grip
Go, Find someone else
To ruin with selfishness
Broken, my counterpart
Torn from within


8. EMPATHY

Like broken records
I’ve heard it all before
Same old stories
Fall to the floor

Lonely souls desperate for validation
Telling tales from their imagination
I can see your jealousy wants me in the dirt
But we both know I’d put you there first

I feel no guilt
I have no shame
I am karma
This is not a game

Do as you would have done to you
It doesn’t matter what you’ve been through
We all see through the same view
There’s no fucking excuse

But if I ever decide in my mind
That your the type of person that thrives from the demise
Of others well being to benefit your life
Trust me, you won’t forget what its like

I feel no guilt
I have no shame
I am karma
This is not a game

Reap what you sow
Pay what you owe
Get what you give
Forget don’t forgive


9. SEVEN STAGES

Hello shadow
In my door frame
I can hear you calling my name
Is it my time
I’ve been waiting
To finally rest my eyes

Descent downward dwelling
On all that’s been lost
Another dead end
No way out
Blind but I can see
Screaming but I can’t speak

Serotonin withdrawal
Oh god, please not again
Why can’t I win
Up mountains I crawl
Falling
I have been forgotten
Happiness on empty
I give up on this life
Why even try
Constantly suffering
I cant handle reality

If only tracing our steps
Could turn back the time
I would change everything
And never say goodbye

Unfortunately for me
I could only learn in one way
That chasing some dreams
Is just a waste of a day

If only tracing our steps
Could turn back the time
I would change everything
And never say goodbye

Back to reality

It’s time to move on
Carry forward
Only the weak dwell in grief
Why aren’t you over it
Whats done is done
In the end we all die alone
I can defeat this
Voice inside of my head
Painting pictures of a life that isn’t mine
I am more than the outcome of natural consequence

Plastic people with hollow hearts
Mechanized minds and processed parts
We’re in a world where we’re always apart
I saw the light, but I prefer the dark


10. ILLUSIONIST

Now it’s your turn
To get what you deserve
Eating your words
Choke
I hope it fucking hurts
For so long
I wanted to put you down
I know now
What goes around
Comes around

It took strength to stand idly by
While you twist the truth
Manipulating lies
I always knew time would tell
Eventually you’d bury yourself

Two face
All fake
No more mistakes
I’m taking you out of my place

Keep telling me how I deserve to be dead
It’s nice to know that I’m still in your head
Keep telling me how I deserve to die
Why is it when I stand you run and hide

I can see you’re trying to be cruel
But all I hear is the sound of a fool
Living in a shadow of a giant
Only alive when the king is silent

You are an artist of deception
Nothing but false perfection
For you, I have only one question
How can you look into your reflection

You’re lost in the fantasy
Don’t forget that you exist
Lets make one thing clear
Without me there’d be none of this

Now it’s your turn
To get what you deserve
Eating your words
Choke
I hope it fucking hurts


11. HELP
Say it to my face
Look me in my eyes
I hear all these lies
You’re nowhere in sight

Coward, sheep to the slaughter
Under the mask you have nothing to offer
Watch the words that leave your mouth
Or you’ll become the body you’ve been talking about

Deaths hanging over my head
Like a mother fucking
Ten ton guillotine
Nothing is what it seems
All of my dreams
Suddenly deceive me
Put a knife in my back would you please

Fake love
No blood from a brother
Good riddance

You are the worst type of person
Giving off the weight of your burden

Help, help
Can I be someone else
Please take me
Away from myself

I tried, I tried
Nothing left to do
Just lie down and die
Why god tell me why
All the wrong ones must
Suffer inside

Chosen to be broken

Help, help
Can I be someone else
Please fucking take me
Away from myself


12. GHOST

The hands of the clock
Walk in circles
Life stands still
Have you ever felt so hollow, so empty
Living against your will

Time was never something
I imagined I'd see
Now I watch it everyday
Slip away from me
There is a ghost
Within my mind
And shadows live
In the corners of my eyes

Tell me of your first memory
Does it make you happy
Or bring agony
I did what I could to forget what I can
Now the problem is I don't know who I am
Sickness spreads
I want more
Precious poison
I adore
Erase me
Incomplete

My eyes
Rolling over white
I think I've been dead
My entire life
Once I waited for the end
Now I want to begin again

From darkness
Beauty grows
Dying roses
Painted gold
Warm words from cold souls
Reaching for hands you will never hold