1. RIPPLE WATER SHINE

Sprinting off the dock,
Shallow water mud,
Ripple water shine,
Second day of our stay,
It was, and it's been a long time,
It was, but now it's not mine,
I took the boat out on the lake,
And I was okay,
Need to get that feeling back,
Once in a lifetime,
Ripple water shine,
The wind and the paddle drip,
The moving on life,
It was, and it's been a long time,
It was, but now it's not mine,
Life moving on,
Setting my heart,
The sun's steady pressure saw the ticking stop,
But I was all smiles,
I'm still waiting for that drink at Otto's,
I'm still always slowly waiting for what follows,
For what i've learned about being so defined by someone dying,
And for thinking before I speak,
Hoping for something bigger,
But it's a size I cant teach,
For how things were,
Or how they should be,
Like a bolt from the blue,
You left me that belief,
Ripple water shine,
It's been a long time,
Now it's not mine,
And it's all right...


2. APRIL

I drink my drink from Your mug made of tin,
But what happened 7/31/76 that made them etch Your name and the date?
What'd I miss? It was a Saturday.
You got Your wasting,
You got away,
You got Your dad,
His dying days,
You got it all,
I've been wasting,
I've been away,
It's not that bad, most days.
Those towns that shut down so early,
I think of Your body right where it should be,
And I think I should get rid of it,
That old brown chair clicked and rang loud as hell,
You said You were a drunk, it rang loud as hell,
And Your brother said, "bullshit,"
I never told anyone but it kept me awake,
Spring sleep's never been good to me anyway.
I got Your picture sitting on the sink,
You were so Young, so skinny, so quick to laugh,
Water dripped and hit Your cheek in the right spot,
It ruined my week, when I just wanted to wash the filth off.
I have this feeling where I'm still owed something,
Every April I'm reminded about those bright flowers they talk about,
Every May I'm reminded that it's better buried in black and white,
And i'll allow myself this tonight.


3. LESIONS

If it's true, here's me telling You,
And here's me glad as hell that You'll never know,
And ever since I heard,
I've cursed her for putting that idea in my head,
I wear a stock smile so well,
"I'm doing just fine,"
But what'd You do to make it better?
I'm telling You, i've seen what it can do,
But what'd You do to make it better?
I wear a stock smile so well,
But who deals with anything like this well?
And if it's true, here's me telling You,
And here's me glad as hell that You'll never know,
And I think I lost my way, and either I stopped caring,
Or i've been looking for it ever since and maybe those two go hand in hand,
And like You said,
"sometimes You just shouldn't know, shouldn't ask,"
I've been rushing through the world without a chance to really see,
And oh, i've been so touch and go,
I find myself moving my legs to make sure I still can,
And telling myself I don't have time,
I'll just wait and curse the day.


4. OLD JAW

You're about what You're about,
Let me tell You what I found,
You're about what You're about,
You can tell me how it sounds,
You're about what You're about
Let me tell You I have my doubts,
Every word in Your mouth
Always lifted these lashes,
Every word in Your mouth
Got the lashes out,
Every word in Your mouth,
Those stories so warming, so profound,
I guess I marked my life with Your lines more than I ever did mine,
My eyes couldn't hide from the old You and I,
My face rusted like those wind chimes in rust light,
Well i've never easily risen,
I've never had those old jaw jokes,
I've never had that old Ed size,
I've never had Robert's prison guard skin,
I've learned it's the fingers and the placement,
Something about that always stuck,
And I'm just stubborn enough,
But those years were the weight giving way,
So You'd startle awake,
Just a time, just a place,
Just a name remembered with the photo and the frame,
You're about what You're about and so on....


5. REPINE

How's it stand?
What are we?
Let that sand flush my cheeks,
Wear me out,
Keep me clean,
Keep me longing,
Keep that quiet company,
Wear me out,
I heard a voice telling me,
Like Your smoke waving,
And my eyes repine,
Wear me out
That wick wont burn away,
It's giving uneven rings.
Wear me out,
Like a sister haunting absence,
Like a sister who's finally had it,
Like a room left open just for being kept,
Like some lonely facet,
Like the promise of a place and knowing You're neither here nor there,
Wear me out,
And the tree tops like crooked beliefs,
Cross hatch crows feet reaching for the Baltimore heat,
And I repine faster and faster now,
Your wick wont burn away.
What are we without regret?
What are we?
Wear me out.
What are we without that end?
Without that death? That darkness?
Wear me out.
There's so many parallels from then until now,
We try to believe,
We keep telling ourselves,
It's a flaw that can't be faked.
I heard a voice passing through,
And I know it's never You,
And I know what I'm looking to find,
And I repine faster and faster now,
Your wick won't burn away.


6. LATE LIVES

How odd life would be if You had made it from Elmira to Kansas City,
Instead You cried the whole way,
Punching the wheel home,
And I forget his name,
But like Billy said, "You can't be everything You want to be, before Your time,"
So slow it down,
Because everyone will wait for You,
There's no fire,
Just the heat where the sweat never leaves,
You never fully dry out,
So stand still, the air will move,
It'll wash over You and almost cool You off,
And like You said, "what the hell is the rush?"
Well You, You're one to talk,
Gone a little too soon,
But I know You hated being late,
And I guess You arrived right on time,
And I'm still here,
Still on this side of the grass,
But lately I'm feeling halfway there,
And that's a long time for late lives and separate failures,
With not much to show but a lack of posture,
I know I drove myself to this,
I think You already know,
I think You already heard,
At least I hope,
How odd life would be if You had made it from Elmira to Kansas city,
And in the end,
It's like You said,
"that's as good as it gets, man."


7. ENAMOR ME

Old trains on Haskell in Arcade,
Sitting silent and strange,
I let myself rust,
I've shed a lot of water over You,
The grass has gotten so flush,
I let myself harp too much,
I don't feel any closer to You here,
I had a thought to make a charcoal trace of Your grave and hang it on my wall,
Merely for the sake of being sentimental of another time,
Another place,
Another life,
It's easier to remember Your face,
I don't feel any closer to You here,
It's easier to remember Your face,
It's the little triggers,
Your bones were done for,
I'll leave them alone,
You're not dreaming, I know,
Empty eyes can't see me, I know,
Your bones were done for,
I'll drink to my own,
I'll leave them alone,
It's all getting old,
Sometimes, I don't stop off of 54 to see You anymore,
U143, a few rows back from that second tree.
Enamor me.
Sometimes, You'd say, "hey ugly," when I'd walk in the room,
"even the wind is like You,"
So be the rot in a plot but enamor me.
I don't feel any closer to You here.


8. TRACES

Who did the decorating?
Who hung up Your words?
And who's not worried what I didn't say?
Who did the decorating?
What happened to the traces today?
When You know You know, well I don't.
I'm tied by the way of church keys, missed weddings,
I'm tied by the way everyone talks about everything,
I'm breathing easy,
I'm breathing sharp,
I'm all sand and heat,
I'm keeping You,
I leave nothing behind but traces for myself to find,
I picked the new,
I chose the rust,
I'm keeping You,
The way we'd choose a perfume,
Sweet, but not quite right,
A haunting air,
Some sound advice still left to find,
I'm tied by the way of church keys, missed weddings,
I'm tied by the way everyone talks about everything.


9. THE QUEEN

"You probably don't remember, but I made it a point to anyway,"
As long as I can,
I think You might remember,
A tree in Seven Valleys with golden string,
A promise we made for every day,
And we're taking names, not taking traits,
Mind You,
You are the bulbs hanging from the ceiling on a sinewy string,
Mind You,
You're beyond me,
There's something to be said for being spoken for,
A certain solidarity,
And You handle me with such a delicate demeanor,
You know what i'll think,
It's about who You love,
It's about who You tell,
And my voice carries more than it should but not now,
It's not the thought that counts, it's the pulling through,
Not my mind that wanders,
It's Your heart that keeps me and mine You,
Mind You I can hold my breath forever,
For as long as I can,
Mind You,
My dirty hair in Your lap will be the feathers in the grass,
But for now Your sugar the sap in my selfish glass,
You want to be planted beneath the leaves,
Bloom and blow with the breeze,
But not yet, but not now,
"we can always be found."


10. SAY NOTHING

So let's say nothing some more,
Because this is something more than me,
And i got what i need,
But sleeping,
When i should've been alive,
It still gives me sand,
But clouds my eyes,
I thought about the rust,
The quote on the ledge about living on,
"that great consciousness of life,"
Oh, what we frame and hang to get by,
Whatever keeps Your heart light,
Whatever keeps You is all right by me,
Nut maybe i don't want to talk about how this life layed me down,
Or how i saw the change because i didn't see You everyday,
Unspoken looks and what the leaving took,
A lack of noise isn't a lack of life,
And that's the way i think it's always been
Because, "i say it all, when i say nothing at all,"
So let's say nothing some more,
And let the words burn their way across the floor
Because if these walls could talk,
I still couldn't get over a god damned soul,
And i can't hold smoke,
So let's say nothing some more,
Because the sand stays with me,
Because the sand keeps You.