1. BETWEEN

Between two worlds
Between heaven and hell
Between love and hate

You've told me the truth
I didn't listen
You've lied to me
I believed you

I opened my eyes
And closed my ears
My mind is clear
But soul is still weak

I won't listen to you now
I have to lie myself
Tolerate people I don't like
And pretend,
That everything's okay

Between two worlds
Between joy and grief
Between life and death


2. WIDOW AND THE KING

My room
Well paid
Healthcare
And precious comfort

My bed
My days and nights
Sixty channels
Instead of life

Where are you now, my child?
Where are you now?
Don't you feel cold, my love?
My tiny son

Nine months
And seven days
Since when
I've seen your face

Your life
Well planned
Like a fairy-tale
With happy end

Where are you now, my child?
Where are you now?
I am so proud of you
My tiny son

I know you need some time
I know you try
But God, please let me see you
Just once again, before I die


3. BUZZ AND MADNESS

You tied me up to keep me safe
By leather belts, tight to my bed
Can't recognize this sultry place
Find out in head what is my name

But once I was the king of life
The master of joy, the lord of delight
Almighty god of pleasure divine
The lamb of Pan, the Bacchus' son

Buzz and madness
Lust and wildness
Absent mindness
Drowning sadness

Days and nights
Months and years
They weren't enough
To show me the way out from despair
No such taste of booze
No dope in the vein
No needle, no sniff
Strong enough to cure my pain

You tied me up to keep me calm
Dispelled my fears by yellow pill
You punished me for screaming loud
You're right I should have slept at night

But once I was the king of life
The master of joy, the lord of delight
Almighty god of pleasure divine
The lamb of Pan, the Bacchus' son


4. THE SHELL I LIVE IN

You have no right
To make this choice for me
No matter what I've done
No matter who you are

My eyelid blinks
So you know I'm still alive
The only proof for myself
Is constant pain

Cut this pain off from me!
Cut these wires off from me!

Where am -
I... It breathes for me
I... It's feeding me
I... It lives for me
I... can only feel

Cut this pain off from me!
Cut this life off from me!

How do you think?
How much has left of me?
After all these years
Filled with such pain and despair?

I fuck you "sacred life"
And "let the Lord decide"
Just let me go away
Far from this constant pain


5. PSYCHOSIS

"My love, my love,
Why have you forsaken me?
She is the couching place,
Were I never shall lie
And there's no meaning to life,
In the light of my loss
Built to be lonely
To love the absent
Find me"

Twelve to five A.M.
Haunted by fears again
It's not my fault, I know
God's will or Devil's show?

Ten to five A.M.
My body's shivering again
I'm struggling for every breath
It's neither life nor death

Watch me
Touch me
Hear me
Be near

Hold me
Feel me
Love me
I'm here

"Free me from this corrosive doubt
Futile despair horror in repose
I can fill my space,
Fill my time
But nothing can fill,
This void in my heart
The vital need,
For which I would die
Breakdown"


6. ONLY DEATH WILL DIVIDE US

She's never cried, I think
Though there were nights,
I was away
She used to smile, I think
Though she had lost her joy,
The other day

We used to plan
Then started to recall instead
Our future faded away
And only the past justified us here

Day - when she gave up
Night - when she broke down
Life - which I ravaged
Death she chose

Day - when she was set
Night - I got drunk again
Life - she lost with me
Death she chose

She's never said a word
Though something weird
Dwelled in her glance
She's never lost her hope before
Except that night, just only once


7. TO LIVE IS TO FIGHT

Fear, emptiness
Lost, loneliness
Pain, despair
Narrowness, no air

Through the years we learned
All of these
Day by day, we have to live
With it
Stand to fight and overcome it
To continue our trip

Even if you are
As strong as you think
You should be ready for it
Even if you are
As weak as I am
You should be ready to fight it

Fear, emptiness
Lost, loneliness
Pain, despair
Narrowness, no air

Even if you are
As strong as you think
You should be ready for it
Even if you are
As weak as I am
You should be ready to fight it


8. SO BE IT

So be it
Nothing left to pray for
So be it
I won't kiss your forehead
Anymore

Farewell

This journey comes so early

Farewell

For you. And for me

Sleep my child

Forgive me, I was helpless

But I loved you so much

My only son
And I
Forever
Will...