1. ADMISSION

Do you remember when we were on fire ?
We lit our own funeral pyre
We rode the flames into the opposition
We said that we'd outlast the attrition

All that we were, we fell into each other
Perfect for one another

Now look where we are
Our stories unwound
The pages are missing, the binding unbound
I search for my ending, your's seems to be found
But I still hear the sound

Of your heart beating against my chest
It always seemed to beat harder than the rest
As if it were beating for two
In retrospect, I never deserved you

This is my admission

All that we were
We've gotten further and further apart
From where we were at the start

We may have survived the fire, the funeral pyre
But in the end when I gave in, when I gave into my sin
That's when the fire went out


2. SCUM

Downhill is where I'm headed
I'm losing sight of where I started

I've betrayed myself, betrayed the one I love
There's no forgiveness that could cover this up

All I am is worthless scum
Undeserving of you and your love

Too far gone
I've lost my compass, I'm without direction

All I am
All I am is worthless scum

I've traded a lifetime of love for one night of lust

Tempting, it's oh so tempting to give in
to take the easy way out
Pushing all of my boundaries
Ignoring all of my doubts
There's no way out

I said I'd never end up here
That I'd never turn on you like this
I guess I didn't even know myself
Ignorance was bliss

Too far gone
How will I carry on?
Too far gone
There's no forgiveness that can cover this up

Deeper, I dig this hole
It becomes comfortable
The deeper I go
I come closer to calling it home

Tempting, it's oh so tempting to give in
to take the easy way out
Pushing all of my boundaries
Ignoring all of my doubts

All I am is worthless scum
Undeserving of you and your love


3. HEARTLESS

Empty, I feel so empty
Hollowed out, my chest caved in
I am a shadow of what I have been

I don't regret the words I spoke
The hushed whispers
Or the words I wrote in the love notes
That I'll never show
No one will ever know of our love
That we had so profound
Rendered helpless by lust
How can I ever trust what I feel ?
But I kneel and I pray I look to God and I say
Will it be better someday?

But he doesn't answer back
And I'm left here waiting
With my head buried in my hands

And as I drift away from you
I look back at the love that we've built
And the plans that we've made
And I weigh with dismay
The pros and cons
And I hate the answer
Of all the things that I've said, I still don't regret
When I called you my love, my dear
Through the tears and the sweat
Or the years that we planned ahead
I never meant it to end

Why would you put me here ?
I can't face the facts
With my head buried in my hands

How can I give up on this ?
I always thought you were all that I wanted
But my doubt takes hold
And the foundation we built shakes and crumbles

Will I ever be enough ?
Am I even capable of selfless love ?
Or should I just give up ?

In all honestly why should I even be
If i can't even love another human being ?

I used to think I knew myself
I guess that I was naive
And now all that I can see
Is that I'm not worth loving

I break your heart for the final time
I'm not even man enough to look you straight in the eyes
How am I supposed to live with myself ?

I should be buried 6 feet underground

Heartless