1. INTRO

(instrumental)


2. REHAB

Hello Hi Hi my name is Mary and I'm an addict
I've been sober now 4.............24 hours
I jus have some issues

I jus took some benzedrine Percoset codeine
Dusted up smoked some weed candy flipped
And popped in Visine
So my timing may be off I vaporize 2 fuel the cough
Adrenaline is pressuring Doctor bring the medicine
Some ketamine Vicodin Xanax and anthrax
I'm hiding all my needle tracks I'm fighting off heart attacks
Nosebleeds cheap speed shitty weed all seed
Gettin frisky dirty deeds sippin whiskey on my knees
About 2 burn out crooked mouth turned out on anotha bout
I'm chillin in a glass house pourin anotha glass out
I'm goin in my stash now there's nothin I ain't usin
GHB LSD Valium and Ecstasy
Pop mescaline with Mexicans put ether in my napkin
I've got so many skeletons I'm a chemical reaction
I'm pissed off pissed on express addiction through this song
Half my memory is gone the X in me lets me belong

I can't help but 2 help myself I'm losing my mind I need help
Filling my mind with doubt I'd do anything 2 get out

5 AM fully geeked sweat tricklin down my cheek
Mouth bone dry can't even speak the cover girl 4 heroin chic
The enemy inside of me pressures me intentionally
Coke wench tweeker bitch cocktease
Best friend park bench make the switch some of these
A few of them I wake up bent my money spent
How'm I gonna pay my rent
My sugar daddy needs the ends
My dealer is my new best friend
Waking up in strangers' beds with these voices in my head
Drunk slut coke blunts junkie bitch bathroom bumps
Homeless broken out of luck and really jus don't give a fuck
Uneffective unemployed unstable null and void
My vanity has been destroyed the famine keeps me paranoid
Blacked out white lines highballs crooked spine
Comatose overdose took it 2 the borderline
Sirens ambulance doctors cuttin off my pants
Black & blue in ICU i've got a 50/50 chance

I can't help but 2 help myself I'm losing my mind I need help
Filling my mind with doubt I'd do anything 2 get out

Fuckin fiend quarantine feed me caffeine nicotine
Trade it 4 some Thorazine morphine or dopamine
Itchy veins Novocaine stop these voices in my brain
As my muscles start 2 strain help me Lord am I insane
Fix me quick suck my dick your counseling makes me sick
Answer me where's my shit tell me what you did with it
I can't stop shaking feel my twitch
I can't stop shaking feel my twitch
I can't stop shaking feel my twitch
I hate U all U fuckin bitch

I can't help but 2 help myself I'm losing my mind I need help
Filling my mind with doubt I'd do anything 2 get out


3. I

The scene of the crime on sunset and vine flying on lines and two dollar wine at 2:39 room 239 sirens wailing off in my mind
Or maybe im just too fucking high ill never know why life of a fiend obsessive obscene blowing off steam with no self esteem im starting to scream
Im paranoid i need some air i need to stand over the edge cause i don't really fucking care about myself cause i was the one who was born in this hell
Now im in hotels huffing narcotics
Shit is so hopeless drunk alcoholics junkies
Ma you fucked me now im alone and nobody cares or loves me heart of a stone and everyone knows im a druggie life is ugly
Dear god can i please have a sec of your time im outta my mind this time im paralyzed

And its still i that i despise woooo oh sadness drips into my days and schizo flips of purple haze
Purple haze

Ive seen comatoses from drug overdoses im drowning in vodka feels like its oceans we're oceans apart and now i have no one nothing weak cause part of me's crushing fucking destruction my head is concussing im in the abyss clenching my fist now i wanna die no i wanna live cause death has been on me since i was a kid
And im still standing on these church steps with my heartbeat pounding through my chest praying to god playing with death and this hatred has my mindset
On 2 matches and a can of gas burning off my skin to hide my darkest days and sins of the past and broken glass in my nightmares when youre not there but youre never there and i cant fight it in the mirror see you everywhere
And i still spit at my refection and this wickedness rejection vicious cycles bad intentions my demise!!!!

And its still i that i despise woooo oh sadness drips into my days and schizo flips of purple haze
Purple haze

Junkies alone in this world whooo oh

Oh sadness drips into my days and schizo flips of purple haze purple haze

Crushing fucking destruction my head is concussing im in the abyss clenching my fist now i wanna die no i wanna live cause death has been on me since i was a kid


4. CIGARETTE BURNS

I've got cigarette burns on my skin and i dont even smoke as im choking on this kush and im ready to be pushed over the edge i need a second to release this mental pressure all my life i was neglected now addiction has me feeling dead and its to heavy blacked out in my best friends chevy el-dorado sitting on top of cinderblocks chopping rocks on the back of skateboard decks wheres the meth creeping death heart attack wheres the mutha fuckin jack
I need a breath i need a sip i need a puff i need a hit needy little pity girl self destructive fucking bitch
Sicka than some sickle cell or syphilis or gonorrhea lick tequila off of mirrors waiting on my fucking dealer i need my shit on spec cause im broken than a rubber check rubber necking yellow lines down mulholland morning time push it to the borderline im borderline obsessed and i still have some shit to get off of my fucking chest

Unwrap the fears and sip the tears watch me walk away into the twilight zone im to high im stoned....im stoned.....come to the zone

Im haunted by the repercussions i can feel the reaper rushing puffing on some reefer with my hands around the bottle clutching shivering im blown to bits what the fuck just one more hit close my eyes to paradise im paralyzed im over it im out of it and showering and flying on the ground and i aint never coming down unless its downers in my jack and coke mixed up with some smack and coke like a john belushi joke d.o.a at the chatau
I need a breath i need a sip i need a puff i need a hit needy little pity girl self obsessive fucking bitch
Waiting on my dealer has me in psychotic fits counting seconds like there minutes its been hours since i had a hit i need my shit on spec cause im broken than a rubber check rubber necking yellow lines down muholland morning time push it to the borderline im borderline obsessed and i still have some shit to get off of my fucking chest


5. VIOLENC3

Fuck you and your selfish ways.

Somebody kill me. Slice my neck. Somebody show me some fucking respect. Instead of all this violence cause im angry i need silence fuck me up spill my guts someone teach me to trust. Im high and drunk. Faded as fuck. Staring down barrels im looking for love. Instead i see corpses and slow riga-mortis in coroners offices sipping on tussin. Father will you forgive me cause to drugs im a slave ive been fucked by temptation and smacked in the face and ive faced everything i've had to face when my fainly was erased and everyday im awake is just another disgrace. Give me pills im addicted to the thrills put my body in a chill give me sit that shoots to kill. Like you killed my mother. Little girl in the mirror with noone to love her.

Take a look at my soul.
Tear me apart
Cause im living cold

Im living cold.
Im living cold.

Now i need discipline i need silence sicker than sick my virus is violence ripat my flesh and then make me whole im losing control i'm losing control jesus christ give me a sign give me a cross let me crucify im so fuckin vain vanity whore im such a fiend i gotta have more i gotta have more more i need some affection i need some distraction i need some attention smack me choke me pull my hair promise you'll stay but you'll never be there do you love me do you care fuck you i hate you life isn't fair i need to feel something before im just nothin so cut me or kill me or fuck me or something.

Take a look at my soul.
Tear me apart
Cause im living cold

Im living cold.
Im living cold.

Violence it takes over me.
Violence it takes over me.
And i dont want your love.
Your love.

Do you love me. Do your care?
Do you love me. Do your care?
Do you love me. Do your care?
Fuck you i hate you my life isnt fair.
Fuck . You and your selfish ways.
Fuck . You and your selfish ways.
Fuck . You and your selfish ways


6. UNTILTED

(No lyrics available)


7. WASTED

All I felt was the rush….and my legs turned to mush… lost all my power to reason with my gut….lying on my back on this rosary i clutch frozen in the moment and i think im really fucked……tonight im gonna die…..but i can see the sun come up…..im so fuckin high i feel it running thru my blood…collapsing my lungs all this hate to which i've clung…..im deaf and im dumb what the fuck have i done…..
Hallucinating hold my hand i cant catch my breath…..and help me i've got pains in my chest…..paranoia's agitating cardiac arrest…
A hypochondriac whos emulating visions of her death….i could have an aneurysm vessel bursting in my head half-dead like momma did i see her lying in the bed….can she see me lying naked on the floor…..praying to the lord cause i don't wanna live no more…

Give me a reason to live cause i wanna die why wont you forgive look what you done to me…..my heads in a sieve but i feel alive look what i did im so wasted…..

Envision my oblivion saliva hangin on my chin another night of partyin with vomit on my cardigan druggin clubbin fuckin up in public…..cookin up my demon in my betty crooker oven suck it base it dragons chase it im nameless and faceless….im so wasted...head is heavy eyes are rolling feeling like my skin is boiling puking in a dirty toilet
Spasming i cant control it….help me let me out…
Or imma die tonight in some fuckin strangers house……teeth and tongue are numb with all my might
I try to shout no matter what i do no words are coming out……(scream) mind is snapped my relapse poisoned from rejection and im about to fucking crack…..fade to black …as this euphoria enslaves me….lord take me back....why wont you come and save me……

Give me a reason to live cause i wanna die why wont you forgive look what you done to me…..my heads in a sieve but i feel alive look what i did im so wasted…


8. I SHOULD KILL YOU

If you relish me my time will be a ticking clock and crush me like i crush these rocks until my fucking heart is stopped and suck me in euphoric to the touch i want some more of it the rush is not enough cause you dont love me like the first time that we fucked and now im on the carpet tryna pick you up and huff you up you fucked me up and now im stuck all doors are shut pressures rising close me eyes im lost in my own paradise eyes open wide im tryna mend these wounds i crave you like i crave the womb the stars the moon the sun and we've only just begun this love affair that gets us nowhere but i dont care...i dont care

Cocaine whenever ride the snow somebody hide the blow
Cocaine wherever ride the snow ive got more lines to blow

I smell you on my pillow i should kill you i should tell you that i love you but i will not let you be the one to break me of my struggle still juggle moods and attitudes god damn your rude and when its you and me i dont even crave for food i need booze and without you i need pills without you i feel ill suck you up in dollar bills but your really fucking killing me poisoned will in me that has me staring at the ceiling paint panting til i paint until you tie me in restraints i just cant take it no more get away from the door and let me be without you i might have to face insanity but fuck it just give me one more kiss because i love it......

Cocaine whenever ride the snow somebody hide the blow
Cocaine wherever ride the snow ive got more lines to blow

More lines to blow more lines to blow blow blow
And i dont care anymore

Cocaine whenever ride the snow somebody hide the blow
Cocaine wherever ride the snow ive got more lines to blow

I should kill you.....


9. TOUCH M3

(No lyrics available)


10. RAGE

I'm talking 2 myself again whispers little noises
Even when I'm stoned I'm hearing voices
Arguing decisions with these petty little bitches
Who won't leave me alone
Itching in my throat 2 speak these things I think I shouldn't say
U shouldn't stay just let me go I told U so jus get away
Now U know I'm not OK I'm not OK I'm not OK

I've sniffed smoked copped coke
Spent my life in a cloud of smoke coughed choked overdosed
Woke up in a hospital and I thought it was destiny
2 die with a needle next 2 me
Be like mommy U can't calm me i've made a fuckin mess of me
I'm so depressed I'm burning I'm obsessed with me
Jus turnin in my sleep its hurting as I bleed I think I cut too deep

I wanna sedate I'm bottlin hate and I'm filled up with rage
I've fallen from grace somebody take me away cuz
I'm filled up with rage

No more ether spoons or glass half moons
Huffing glue in crowded rooms I'm so consumed
With my psychiatrist who sparks psychotic fits
With pills and pills and pillsa shit
Substances 4 illnesses hurry quick go get my kit
I need a muthafuckin fix

Here I go anotha bend anotha binge with my syringe
Where i've been i've no idea what's tangled in my dirty hair
Strip me down 2 vacant stare little girl alone and scared
Knowing that I need U there but U don't care
I hate U like I hate myself I will erase U as U cradle me in filth
Holy Spirit Holy Ghost noose is tied up 2 the post
Pulsing blood is rushing Lord I'm coming karma comatose

I wanna sedate I'm bottlin hate and I'm filled up with rage
I've fallen from grace somebody take me away cuz
I'm filled up with rage

I feel like dying I feel like dying I feel like dying
I feel like dying dying I feel like dying fuckin dying
I feel like dying dying dying dying dying
Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die
DIE


11. THE MULE

Im on a bus to baton rouge
With dog shit on my shoes
Im not on a vacation
My travel is taboo
My dealer calls me godspeed
THE FEDS call me A mule
AND the driver of the bus looks like he's been sniffin glue
Im breakin out in sweats
JUST tryin to keep my cool

With interstate trafficking, the charge is federal
BUT imma make a million dollars
Swallowing balloons
So I Could Have Piles Of Coke
TO COOK up in my spoon
Addicted From The Womb Hope I Dont End Up In A Tomb
Prayin to my mama HOPE to see you really soon
Tyin off in bathrooms
Louisiana by noon
If the coppaz try to catch me
Im reinacting high noon
Higher than an airplane
My mind is like a cyclone
WHILE drug enforcement agents check FOR evidence AT my home
I Practice Santeria In My Palm I Juggle Chicken Bones And Pray That They Dont Lock Me Up
A prisoner in their catacomb

I need another fix as i taste in on my lips
And this GREASY little courier
Keeps starin at my tits
My hotel smells like piss
THEY'VE GOT hookers up in
For twenty bux they let you fuck
For ten they suck your dick
But im not havin it
Heres the money i gotta split
But i need another sec to tape on all these bricks
Drop me at the bus stop
And driver make it quick
Pretend you never saw me
Take this 20 as a tip
NOW MY bus is not leaving until 20 after 6
And i need to chase a dragon
Before i pitch a fit
Let me find a private place
So i can try this shit
As mama watches over me
I know it makes her sick
Just a little pinprick
Can never make you make me wince
CHINA WHITE is on my mind
So let the high commence

The new york city skyline
The best ive seen in days
Sleepin On This Bus Claustrophobias Got Me Crazed
BUT THE h
HAS keep me numb
MY visions in a haze
I Need To Take A Shower
Or At Least Just Wash My Face
I wish i was at home
ALONE TO masturbate
IM just tryin to make IT BACK
So i can find a better place
My vanity is raped tryin to eat off
This plate
And all this fuckin hate
Everybody is fake

Relieve Me Of The Package Close My Eyes Then Pull The Tape.

Then Count Out Every Dollar And That Was 10 It Wasnt 8
Mother Fucking Grand For Carrying Your Weight
Im not tryin to get fucked
Im tryin to get paid
Now let me get some shit
With this money that i made
Its a pleasure doin business
I hope you're happy
Great
Id really love to stay
But im already running late
I got a date with death.


12. DEBBIE

Hey Debbie how you been it's me Mary Jane
You know your only daughter the one you left in pain
The one you left over the heroin and cocaine
And it's been really hard for me to come see you again
And I don't even know if I'm hurt or if I'm mad
Oh and by the way have you seen or heard from dad
I think he's doing good he's living with his new wife
I heard she keeps him clean and I guess she treats him right
And I know how Pop-pop died really must have hurt you
Cancer took the only father both of us ever knew
And it's been really hard on Grandma
We don't speak any longer
She disowned me too told me I was just like my mother
And I know that being a teenage mom wasn't that appealing
But I can still remember the sun you painted on my ceiling
Now I'm an artist too except I do it for the healing
To take away this heartache and this misery I'm feeling

And i've grown tired of being alone
Lord I know starry eyes close
And momma why won't you ever come home
Lord I know starry eyes close

They say that you and I we share the same traits
The same pretty eyes they say they see you in my face
Same Sybil moods same wicked ways
Same addictions except you took it to the vein
I was always afraid of you the track marks on your arms
And you were always passing out and taking me to bars
Or you left me home alone or you left me in the car
Now I'm all alone and you left me with these scars
My sleep is filled with nightmares about the life you chose
Were you alone in that apartment did you really overdose
I wonder could I have stopped it did you even leave a note
I didn't even know you lived a mile from my home
That afternoon I heard you died I thought it was a joke
I didn't know that you were sick or that you had had a stroke
I would have went to see you at least we could have spoke
Why'd you have to die so young you were just 33 years old

And i've grown tired of being alone
Lord I know starry eyes close
And momma why won't you ever come home
Lord I know starry eyes close

Well here I am momma standing at your grave
I lay my head down on the marble just to ease the pain
I used to come here all the time and pray that you were saved
Get on my knees close my eyes and ask the Lord for strength
And I understand cause I got my own set of sins
But it makes me sad to think how WEAK
You really must have been
You had a choice between your only child and heroin
And it was heroin that won the battle in the end
And not a day goes by
I don't think about what could have been
But in the end I'm at your grave fighting tears again
I miss you bad as fuck my throat keeps tightening up
Do you even remember I have a birthday coming up ?
Until the day I die
Not a day goes by that you don't walk with me
There's so many things I want to say
But I guess it's just too late
Momma can you hear me?

And I'm so tired of being tired of being alone
Why won't you ever come home


13. LAST REMAINS

As I sit and scribe my final testament these sentimental thoughts keep me reflecting on a love I that lost when all I sought was love I'm lost.

And now I take my final bow and how I got up in this mess and loneliness is something that I felt in crowds. Momma can you see me now? I hold my hand up to the sky and Lord could you please grant me this one wish for Mary's last caress and then I will finally be blessed.

On this page lies smears of my blood all I ever was; is now my last remains of my life in vain. All I ever was.

As I dream of open wrists my time no longer exists. I reminisce of this addictive shit that lead me back to this. Unenchanting winding road and I can see the gallows; cutting lines of blow I'm shallow, but I'm numb and my time here is becoming insignificant.

I needed discipline or maybe it was lack of love that made it so I had enough. As I take my final bow watch me fly off into the clouds as I finally say goodbye for now.

On this page lies smears of my blood all I ever was; is now my last remains of my life in vain. All I ever…