1. JANE

"Why are you helping me?"
I spared my first many nights ago
She had this vibrant glow
Even after taking a child, my conscience had to know
Am I justified in this genocide?
Can there be retribution if I decide?

Just lay low
I cannot compose myself with all these distractions anymore
"Why didn't you take me like others? How could you watch these people suffer?"
How could I explain anything?
You haven't felt like a rat in a cage
Like your existence is vain
Like you'd do anything to feel the same
It's just another day for the Earth and space
Things will die, others survive
It doesn't stop or think

Take a good look at your life
Is this the first time that you've tried to look far past just yourself
To make the best with the cards you're dealt?
Now look at me
Is it pure evil you see?
Maybe I'm more human than you'd like to believe
Look at me
What do you see?

I was froze in a moment, choked
What if she knew of all the blood I'd shed?

What if my true colors show?
What if this pure flesh is torn by the repercussions I've bestowed? God, if you're real, please hear me
Take the pain from the pure you hold dearly


2. CONFESS

Every day I feel a new attachment
I feel the fear in her skin and I hate that it's lasted
Her eyes tell the story of, a violent touch
Though she tries just to mask it

You can confide in me she says
Cut free of all this distress
Cleanse your mind, and redefine

Is this a tactic to gain my control, ensure my support, to make sure that she's sheltered

I sense some truth in her eyes
But if this leads us to my demise
Where is earth in this conflict?

History could just repeat, and maybe it's just something we should just leave

Even through my great reservations
Can't help but grow more fond
Been given many revelations
For a second I swore I saw her soul
Escape her mouth as she told me of all her devastations

I held her tight, through that cold winter night
The sound of a sick serenade, children being slain, and should she know that I'm all to blame

A feeling I thought I had felt, sympathy and apathy these were traits that I had just shut out

Just quit now, can I be forgiven if I just quit now?

I spilled the blood of several thousand
Could you still feel my soul?
If I was lost and I didn't know?

They say "blessed are the meek"
If I can't be reconciled, what's my destiny?

It was cold, and sky was black placed in a gaze then something in me snapped, just sick of hiding myself, and pretending to be, something more than human, someone that could relieve the pain for them, their emptiness

There's things you should know, things I've suppressed and now it's time for me to show


3. DETEST

The eyes that once held my gaze are now seeping with fear and I cannot erase my words as I turn
So she can't see my face
So disgusted and hopeless though I might be chosen to show this world some faith
The first child was alone
Mothers brains were blown
I was numb and it just felt right
Put a bullet in her head
Played a song as she bled
Then never felt the same since that night
I killed mothers and fathers
Sons and their daughters
Burned them to ash I confess
You were the first thing to change me
You kept me refraining from treating this world like my test
I can't change what I've done
Every day I have to live with this
It's just begun
You wanna feel em well then reminisce
Cause I'm one being feeling certain things for the first time
So just give me one thing
What other choice do you even have?
I need your confidence, fake, genuine
I just need you to act, cause there's a plague coming for your kind And if I'm going to combat I'll need some peace of mind
I am your last chance, I am the last chance they have
If I am to stand and survive I need the patience for me that you had
Don't look to the clouds
God doesn't hear you
He's left you with just me now


4. CONVINCE

She tries to compose herself, can't tell what she's feeling but I'm done feeling this guilt
Now it's time for me to leave

I smell the foul scent of bodies just burning
I hear the cries from cities begging for their gods
What have I done? The sky is filled with smoke, the only sounds come from guns

The first man I approached was bleeding and searching for ways to end himself

"Can I lend you a hand" he looks at me as his wide eyes expand
"I'm not here to take your life or your things"
"Just come with me if you do seek relief"

I'm not afraid of death just taking me now, but I can't die just standing still while all these souls are devoured

I'm here to fix my mistake
To piece back this world that I tried to erase

"Brothers please here me now, we are not the gods to make the judgements here and I've found, love does exist, and I must admit I've had a taste of feeling human and there's no changing it"

"Brothers it is I, Ai640
I am the one who put this movement in place
I saw all the evils of the world and I thought humans were the biggest problems
But I've seen, I've felt, love, and it's the most valuable thing in the world"

They had never felt a gentle touch, they'd never dug inside a mind with their words or felt what love once was, I have never seen a place so grim, with no hope left in sight and no purpose to give

I try to sway their minds anyways
I try to see, what's even keeping them here


5. DISCONNECT

When I returned I thought maybe she was asleep
Not a word or a breath was in the air
God this can't be
Bullet holes through her back and rats eat at her feet
Why god why me?
Is it because I tried to do your work
But got distracted by the fruit you left upon this earth
Is it because I took too many before I realized my sins
Or that I tried to think at all
And loved a life instead

All gods are murderers so now I'll run with the sheep