1. awkward at birth 00:14

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

2.the STD they don't warn you about 00:38

Defective birth
You're a walking neurosis
Zack Morris you'll never fucking be
Imaginary friends created by others will lead you to your only real friends...and then drive you away from them
And you'll receive no charity
And the std you got may protect your virginity
A walking neurosis

3. ferris bueller's off day 00:54

We were told we were lesser than everyone
Now we judge like we're better than everyone
Wheres the line, building character
And creating monsters?
I can't tell you
Figure it out
You're supposed to know
It's been time
This was coming
The line is erased
You're out of chalk
Some monsters ate it
Once boys, once men
Now cynical shadows
Craving revenge

4. not sexy and used to it 00:42

No ones reason to masturbate lives here
I spread revolting worldwide
I paint this world ugly
Recreate it in my image
The playing field newly level
Beaten to death with ugly sticks
Fallen icons of lust and hatred
Scattered for miles
Torn down from pedestals high
And charm won't get us by

5. bronies vs. moonies vs. trekkies vs. juggalos vs. ravers 00:38

I can't wait to be on History channel being interviewed in the shadows about that time we jumped some kids in pikachu hats over some turf at a con
The clowns are official and soon we'll be too
And monkeys will fight for control of the zoo


6. pokeballgags 50% off at giggles 00:35

You've really done it now
Who told you it was a good idea to follow those boys dressed as sailor scouts to the marriot anyway
If you awaken next to a 300 pound white girl dressed up like Ivy from Soul Calibur, that's your own damn fault you like getting cuckolded by furries
Just a reminder, because you need one, that you promised to leave all of this behind

8. next time, be more elitist 01:16

Open season on open minds
Let 'em sink with the shit
The less the merrier you should have known
Still wondering why so many idiots jumped on your wave
You invited them
Remember?
You wished this shit was bigger, like you do with everything
And you get
What you want
And you never want it again

9. damage control barbie 00:25

Accountability
If she could she would have had a restraining order issued against it last week, that creep
Escaping blame that can't be shifted is a specialty acquired along with giving head and finding discount steals on heels.
When charm fails. When charm fails. When charm fails.


10. this is not the official parody of district (6)9 xxx 00:19

I want a world where the beautiful are made to live in camps where they fuck each other on camera for the amusement of the rest of us
I don't really want any other world


12. Miss OMG-Me-Too 00:55

Wanna turn whores into housewives?
Thier egos tall as mountains
I prefer to make molehills of them
Nondescript mounds of venereal dust
That cannot speak
They burst into flames around me
They crumble to ash and blow away in the wind
And i am comforted by their absence


13. 50 shades of OH FUCKING CHRIST 00:40

Mommy's a freak just like her vampire obsessed demon spawn.
Talk about a whole life crisis. It's much more interesting than her life. Stellas groove is being a prude and telling dad what he can't do. You claim they shame the slut you'll never be. You shame the animals we are.
I wouldn't ridicule you for your method of escapism if you didn't constantly see fit to shit on mine.


14. this place is dead anyway 00:37

Connect to disconnect
Smartphones and internet
Everyone i hate is all around me
Everyone i love is elsewhere
Our friendships scattered across the globe, the only ones who will relate
Isolation desired fate
I don't like you fucking people


15. (s)top40 hits 00:28

Your shitty home town that you left only got worse while you were away.


16. #numberonereasonwhy you should be shot in the face 00:56

You wanna be one of us now?
You expect this to be as easy as everything else in your life??
You cannot win for losing (or winning, or dressing up like slave leia to hock some developer's wares)
There are no time machines, pond
Decades of ostracization cannot be undone by claiming you fucking get it now
Guest in this house
Making demands
You'll get nothing and like it



17. the bottom line (because stone cold ET said so) 00:22

BE MORE ELITIST!


18. hello, i'm darwin and this is jackass 01:38

Everybody wanna die
Nobody wanna die
Nobody wanna be that guy
Croaked in the x-ray while the doctor bangs the nurse
Speak only good of the dead, talk shit when no ones around
She died diddling herself with a carrot
Turning in their graves embarrassed
Rub 8 out drop dead in front of a porno screen
Don't have to live with yourself
Just found a new way to cease to exist
Being forgotten is better than this
Everybody wanna die
Nobody wanna die
Sick to death of life
Scared to death of death