1. DRIFT

I always seem to find myself in situations that I have no control over.
I'm so over all my limitations.
The anxiety that cripples me.
I need to just breathe in. Release. Release all the pain.
Release all the bullshit that made me this way.
And the reason I never give anyone a piece of my mind is because whenever I do they take the whole thing.
They twist it, and bend it, and break it down into something I'm left trying to figure out.
And I'm still trying to figure out.
Why ?
But I guess I never really had my mind made up in the first place.
Every day I wake up with this thorn in my side.
Broke and angry, going crazy.
I guess this is my life.
So I'm singing and I'm screaming until you understand the meaning of being a loser.


2. FLOW

Do you remember when we first met ?
The shaking of our hands ?
The cold gross sweat ?
Showing symptoms of summer : amazement and wonder.
How could I ever forget ?
And I just wanna...
As cold as winter, friendships they wither.
And fall apart at the seams.
I know you know what I mean.
And it goes on and on and on.
Self analysis; the catalyst for my inaccurate criticism.
I try to hide it, but some days I can't fight it.
And some weeks I feel weaker.
And some months they just keep dragging on.
Essentially, I am a martyr.
A friend for hire.
A ride home.
I bite the hand that feeds cause it's other hand's around my fucking neck.
Quit depending on me.
Quit asking for every fucking thing.
See, there's an art to letting go and I can't even color between the lines.
I'm stuck all the time between I love you and fuck you.
I want to figure it out but every time I try I get stuck in the basics.
I guess that's why I'm jaded, I hate it.
Work, eat, sleep, repeat, misery.
Its all the fucking same to me.
Just let it go, just let it flow.
See, we're all just starving artists pushing away our plates.
Begging for attention that we act like we don't see.
Every night I'm sacrificed to memories
And every morning I'm resurrected by reality.
I don't want to be a prizefighter.
To hold the hollow, heavy, rotten trophy that is your attention.
It burns my hands.
I'll never understand.


3. MY LIFE FELL APART

(Speechs)


4. EX-PRAYERS

After all these years, I find myself here.
Same chances different feeling.
We want what we can't have.
I have nothing.
I've learned to live with misery and that's saying something.
See, I've been walking on walls, I've been sleeping on ceilings, just to explain my pain, just to justify the meaning.
But what's it saying ?
I was always told to be myself.
But what if I don't like myself ?
What if I just feel so insecure, selfish, scared, ugly, embarrassed and worthless.
Permanent damage made from temporary feelings. I ask myself was it worth it.
Everybody's happy but me.
Everyone has someone but me.
My life is a lose lose lose lose lose situation.
I lose track of time when I think of the past.
I lose my sense of direction when I think about the future.
So I'm screaming out all my ex-prayers.
All the bullshit that got me here.
I wish I was a better person.
I wish she loved me.
See, its all pretend in the end.
Its all make believe.
All those things I wished so hard for.
I didn't need.
And all those people I tried to impress that just looked down on me.


5. EXIT PT. 2

A tight hug goodbye before I catch the last train home.
I've learned to appreciate them more than I used to.
See, when you're living at the bottom everyone looks so much taller.
Honestly, we're all just standing on thin ice.
But our denial is so rock solid, it feels nice.
Just waiting for the insecurity hammer to smash our "I don't cares" and our Instagram posts and out Facebook quotes and the way that you laugh when you don't even get the joke.
See, I always feel alone.
When I'm at home or at a show.
When I'm with all of my friends and I just have to pretend that I'm having the time of my life when really its just fucking passing me by.
I'll never understand why we drink just to feel sober.
Life is a hangover.
Dying in the living room.
It will always be me versus them.
It's like I always feel awkward or embarrassed or uncomfortable.
And I'm just so tired of being angry.
So fucking tired of being.
I hate my friends.
I hate the weekend.
That same car ride home that I've come to know.
Seeing is believing and I don't see the point in anything anymore.
I'm unimpressed by the friday night enthusiasm.
Tired of the Saturday morning gossip.
No, I didn't hear about what happened last night.
And its always the same excuses.
"No, really, I'm fine I'm just tired"
See, we all just want something to talk about.
Throw away the red cup.
Drink with your hands.
People, places; they all change but the feeling stays the same.
Bags under my eyes.
Sidewalks, streetlights; can I crash here tonight ?
The life of the party is dying on the couch.
Her friend is on the porch trying to figure out.
"And I just want to know when's it gonna end ?"
"And I just want to know what am I supposed to do ?"
Still haven't found my exit, still stuck in my old ways.
Still haven't found my exit, but I'm searching every day.