1. DRAGGED THROUGH THE DIRT

Dragged through the dirt
I feel your sickening disregard
I'm done here
I set myself free by cutting you out

You're one with the leeches now
You're one with the muck
Call upon me, be still my shaking hands
Say the words, I'm yours again

Falling back into this, falling into hell
I gaze up and scream, I curse the sky
Who above would be so cruel?

To curse me with this life


2. PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME

Today I felt lower than I ever have before
My self worth stripped away, broken down
Victim of abuse, mending my broken heart
All trust is shattered when your fist strikes a mother
Possessed eyes hide behind an angel's smile

Mother don't go, please don't leave me I love you dearly
I'll stand by you, please don't leave me I love you dearly

Look at them, look at me, look at the family, the helpless people
I remember all the tears
Can you hear the screams?
How could you so badly damage those you swore you love?

Bleed me, leave me out to dry, suffocation
Even now I'm still so torn

Mother don't go, please don't leave me I love you dearly

I've harbored all these memories and I have made it through hell
You will not hold me down, this will not douse my flame
I've harbored all these memories and I have made it through hell
I will never walk with fear in my stride

Your sins will not be forgotten
Your sins will not be forgiven
Your violence is your sickness


3. THOSE EYES

A waste of space, wasting life, why do I try?
Sitting, staring at the wall, lost in thought
Every beautiful moment withers and dies
Every tear I shed falls from vacant eyes
Questioning my existence, what am I doing here?
Holding onto dreams and memories
So hopeless, so fucking desperate
I'm sick of screaming out for help
I'll finish this myself
But who will take my life? Will you? Will I?
Will the slow degradation of my psyche pull me under?
And if I were to die, hell would surely keep me
What am I afraid of?
What lies ahead?
Or what I leave behind?

I am lost without you
My thoughts get the better of me
I am lost without you
Will this night ever end?

Falling further in a downward spiral and bringing everyone down with me
Friends and family please forgive me
I don't know how to change

Holding onto dreams and memories
So hopeless, so fucking desperate
I'm sick of screaming out for help
I'll finish this myself

I really wish things were different
I can't stand who I am

If I can't feel whole, put me in the ground so I can feel nothing at all

Every beautiful moment withers and dies
Every tear I shed falls from vacant eyes


4. DEMON

Belonging nowhere, child of the night
Nobody wants me
I let the darkness take me
Standing in an empty street, the moon: my only company
It was in that moment that I knew
I would always be alone

It's hell to both fear and need seclusion
I will always be alone
Detaching from the world around me
I have been slipping through the cracks

Repulsed by the sight of myself
What the fuck do you see in me?
I only want the best for you
But I give you nothing to smile about

I wasn't meant to walk this earth
I shouldn't be breathing
But she clings to me, makes me stay
I hate myself I want to slip away (slip away)
I need help, where the fuck do I get it?
I live in a nightmare that never ends


5. NO FLOWERS ON YOUR GRAVE (FT. JAZMINE LUDERS)

I need so badly what I can never have
A wicked hand holds happiness far from my reach
So tired of hanging onto
Someone obsess with running away

Losing grip, no will to live
My heart slows, I'm growing cold

I came to know you, I grew to love you
I felt safety in your arms
You always told me that you cared
But you walked away so easily
And it left me wondering where were you?

Where were you when I hung my head and cried?
Where were you when I tried to die?
And where will you be when I fall to my knees?
Where will you be when everything falls apart?

There'll be no flowers on your grave
Dead to me


6. BEYOND THE PALE

How would you die?
If you wanted to, if you needed to
If it was your own hand bringing the end
Every day I wonder
How can I ease the pain of passing
Please sweet death, take me tonight
The colors of life fade as I slip deeper into the void
Do I follow those that dare to tread beyond the pale?


7. IT WILL ALWAYS BE MY FAULT

The water washes my shame away
There’s nothing left for me here
I feel I’ve failed everyone
This is what you get for counting on me

If I could choose to die when I’m dreaming
I would have done it a thousand times
I’ve fucked up again and again
I know everyone wants me gone

I guess nothing will ever be the same
That’s just something I will have to live with
Being picked apart by everyone
Fuck what you want
Feed leeches to the vultures

Lately I can’t see the point of life
Suffer for nothing and then you die
I fall short every time
I’ve never done anything right

In this cold world, beauty is so tragically fleeting
I used to think that’s how it is
But now I think it’s all I deserve

On nights like these eternal sleep doesn’t seem so bad
I hope I never wake up


8. AGONY

Help me god
What the fuck have I done?
Who am I? What have I become?

Take another fucking pill
Bite back the tears
Escape life, dream forever
Sweet relief, no more pressure
Numb to the pain, but never happy

Demonic presence in my ear
Tell me the lies that I want to hear

Do you want to forget the agony in your life?
I want to erase the memories
Forget the friends and lovers lost
I know I'm heading down a dark path
But I'll do anything to kill the feeling
I'm so sorry

Things have changed
I can only pray so desperately that you forgive me
I want you with me
I promise that I'll never leave your side

My dearest friend until the very end


9. FOR YOUR EYES ONLY

(Instrumental)


10. LILAC

I am the cursed one
Jaded, eyes faded
My hands have graced you
But my heart is empty

Wilted flowers in the garden bed
From the soil reels the stench of death
Buried are the feelings you had
I long to lie beside them

Would you so easily forget?
You changed me forever
How could you ever forget?
You've broken me

I want to run so far away
But I'm crippled by your memory
I see your face when I close my eyes
For you I tore down the heavens
Angels and demons left dead in my wake
For you I'll tear down the skies
In a sea of flames, everything will die

See the life leave the lilac
I miss you every day
See the life leave the lilac
Our home is beneath the earth
This is the kind of hurt that never leaves
The weight on my chest
The stone in my throat

In a sea of flames
Everything will die


11. BEARING THE CROWN OF LIES

Turn your back
All the times I stood by you
Your antisemitic father
Three years faded, three years gone
Apologies count no more

Lost
Lost in the hurt
Lost in the pain
Lost in your wake

My skin is stained
My walls are broken
Let me move away from the places I've marked
With the spite on my tongue

Years destroyed in seconds
Love has vanished, my abhorrence abounded
You bit the hand that fed you
Eviscerated the lips that kissed you
Adulation turns to ashes in my mouth

I'm so sick of hearing all your shit
It's so pathetic
I'm fucking done with the act
You even had the nerve to come crawling back
Tried to fill that hole in your heart
Keep living on your knees, live like an open magazine
I won't associate with you, (keep my distance)
Because when I have my head straight
Empty hearts and poisoned minds aren't so hard to keep at bay