1. JOLLY OLD SAINT DICKOLAS

Christmas Eve has come and gone since the days of old
I have never seen Santa before and I just need to know
I creep downstairs and what I see I never would expect
Santa and my cousin Mandy having hardcore sex
He whips out his jolly big dick and puts it in her flabby tits
Mandy spits a big old chaw of Copenhagen on his dick
The trailer rocks back and forth all through the night
I beat my meat viciously to this disturbing sight
Mandy begs for Old Saint Nick to fuck her in the butt
I didn't know my cousin Mandy was such a giant slut
She cries out loudly as she begins to shit all over the place
And Santa pulls his meat out and busts a load on her face


2. PUNCH A QUEER FOR AUGUST AMES

I just finished jacking off and went to check the Facebook news
But this time however I was not at all amused
The LGBT killed a pornstar, to all of our dismay
Why do these liberals cause problems just because their gay
Take my cousin Mearl for instance
He's a queer but voted Trump
But these whiny liberal pussies
Are worth less than my fecal dump
They whine and bitch and cry about everything every day
Acting like the world's against them just because they're gay
But listen closely cause this right here is what I've got to say
Fuck you stupid communists, this is queer-punching day
Punching every queer that's forced their sexuality down people's throats
Punching them left and right, punching them day and night
This could've been avoided but you pushed it way too far
And now because of you we mourn the death of a pornstar


3. SUPER MUTANT SANTA CLAUS

Super mutant children all across the Wasteland
Await Christmas day dancing hand in hand
But who will deliver their presents today?
Super Mutant Santa Claus with his flesh-crafted Sleigh
Soaring through the sky with eight flying radstags
Giving the kids presents in big leather bags
A huge sleigh made from the bodies of commies
Sending those gay punks crying to their mommies
He takes hunks of meat and gives them as gifts
Through corpses of enemies his big green hand sifts
With a 20mm machine gun he blows commies to bits
Then fucks all their bitches and nuts on their tits
He delivers the produce so don't be a giant cunt
Or when you meet Super Mutant Santa Claus it won't be fun


4. THE SLAM.S.N.B.C. HOLIDAY SPECIAL

I give you a grand show on this Christmas Eve hour
Sit back and enjoy, I'm your host, Matt Lauer
For all the men, women, and children to see
I've taken back over M.S.N.B.C.
Here I have cuffed up a female news anchor
I pull down her jeans and then proceed to spank her
Pulling aside her panties unconsensually
I put my tiny piece of meat in her tight pussy
Families witnessing pure shock an awe
And here comes Alec Baldwin dressed as Santa Claus
Three inches of phallus stuffed into her mouth
As I proceed to poke her way down South
Here comes Amy Schumer and Bernie Sanders also
Cathy Griffin, Chelsea Manning, and Kevin Spacey, oh no
All the ladies and Bernie then whip out their dicks
And jack off all around the poor news anchor chick
They swap positions and Bernie gives her the poke
Amy busts a nut on her as she tells a poorly made joke
Cathy Griffin then whips out her throbbing fat dick
It's much bigger than mine, what the fuck, holy shit
All us celebrity perverts shower her in cum
Smearing her mascara as down her cheeks it runs
Over her pitiful cries and desperate moans
Nobody sees the door open to let in Alex Jones
With Clint Eastwood and Jeff Foxworthy by his side
He's hear to save our victim, we have nowhere to hide
Jeff Foxworthy puts a 40 cal round in Amy's spleen
As Clint Eastwood blows Cathy's dick to smithereens
A roaring chainsaw, the preferred weapon of Alex
Revving it up he then proceeds to gut Alec
Revenge has been made for his shitty SNL skit
Three rounds from Clint's M16 make Bernie's skull split
Jeff blows Kevin's brains into a week later
Points his gun at Chelsea and says "Time to die, traitor"
Two rounds to the knees knock her to floor
Then shot in the head, she now is no more
As I Matt Lauer, lay at Alex's mercy
He saws off my head for all the world to see
He frees the poor woman, she sadly needs a few stitches
The entire left wing are just whiny ass bitches


5. JINGLE BELL SLAM

Jingle bell, jingle bell
Jingle bell slam
Pringles cans chime
In Pringle can time
Stabbing and gutting
A dozen stupid whores
Behind locked closed doors

As we await Saint Nick this glorious holiday
I'm on a murder spree that consumes me day by day
From every commie to every stuck up feminist bitch
I hack them open and then throw them in a snowy ditch
My gory deeds and actions make Christmas a little better
The appendages of the inferior I will now sever
And throw about the trees to behave as a gory wreath
Jingle Bell Slam is the lifestyle that I choose to lead


6. MASS SLAUGHTERING BUZZFEED REPORTERS AND SENDING THEIR AMPUTATED GENITALS TO THEIR FAMILIES IN HOLIDAY GIFT BASKETS

As I roll through K Mart on my holiday shopping spree
Approaching me is one of those queers from the commie-ass buzzfeed
He then interrogates me about my rebel pride shirt
So I put a 357 round right up into his skirt
I torture him to the point of telling me all that he knows
I put the gun in his mouth and then force him to blow
I pull the trigger then put a round through his fucking head
What a relief it is that another commie is dead
He leaked his headquarters so that is where I'm heading now
Dozens of communists are going to die right now
I load my Ar-15 up with 30 fucking rounds
As I unload a dozen buzzfeeders fall to the ground
Once they're all dead I take my pocket knife into my hand
I amputate their genitals and then proceed to send
Their tiny balls and weiners to their commie families
And then I go back home and continue my shopping spree


7. SHOOTING A DOZEN CANADIAN LIBERALS WITH A WHITE PLASMA RIFLE TO REDUCE THEM TO A LARGE STREAM OF SEMEN AND THEN FORCING CHAD KROEGER THROUGH IT SLIP 'N SLIDE STYLE

Thank you Canada for all that you've given us
Like your bullshit political opinions and Nickelback
In fact I think your libtard country really fucking sucks
From all your Sanders brown-nosers to your feminist sluts
I load up my white hot plasma rifle and open fire
Your bodies reduced to a pile of white goo before my very eyes
Chad Kroeger sits here tied up there's nothing he can do
watching as his libtard friends all fucking die
I kick him in the back and through your gooey remains he slips
I laugh as he is covered in the artificial seminal filth
He hits several rocks as he slides down the hill
Every bone in his body snapping
There he lies mangled and rotting at the bottom of the hill


8. ASS RAPED BY HULK HOGAN ON A CRASHING AIRPLANE

As my plane descends
Panic erupts
We're gonna crash
Take me brother
His dying wish is my insides
Taking Hulk's shaft as I die
Now we'll all die
Now we'll all fall
Now it is time to give Hulk my all
His drive's insane
A sexual maniac
It is time to get on my Hulkamania
Take it in the ass brother
From one man to another
Fulfilling his dying wish
In my asshole he will piss
Reaching climax as we crash
Deep within my prolapsed ass
All the passengers are gone
Except for Hulk, yes he lives on


9. SANTA CLAUS STICKING A FOUR INCH PIECE OF PVC PIPE IN HIS PROLAPSED ASSHOLE AND FITTING IT THROUGH THE FLOOR OF HIS SLEIGH SO HE CAN DISCHARGE RANCID FECALITHS AT DEADLY SPEEDS AND RATES OF UP TO 600

Soaring through the skies late on Christmas Eve
Santa stops at Taco Bell for a bite to eat
As he flies into California his ass begins to stream
So Santa drops his trousers and prepares to shit into the streets
He inserts a piece of PVC to narrow his fecal discharge
Two tons of compressed shit then begin to blast
Into crowds of Clinton supporting protesting libtards
Shards of fecalith violently spray from his ass
Like a minigun it fires at such high speeds
Roaring across the sky as crowds of SJWs bleed
Fecaliths act like bullets as they shred apart his victims
Blasting open skulls and scattering dismembered limbs


10. A PACK OF POLAR YAO GUAIS DISEMBOWELING AND DEVOURING THE FROZEN CORPSES OF AN ESKIMO FAMILY

A family in winter clothes embark the northern Wasteland
The holidays have come as they travel hand in hand
But to their disfortune they will now feel the wasteland's wrath
As a white-haired mutated bear stumbles across their path
Mauled to death and disemboweled their corpses begin to freeze
As days go by more polar yao guais come to them to feed
As they rot a multitude of radioactive beasts are drawn
They tear and chew and devour until their remains are gone


11. GETTING SLOPPY TOPPY FROM A SALVATION ARMY GILF AT A K-MART CHRISTMAS SALE

It's a shame I'm too impoverished to buy my family gifts
So I take off for a handout at all the local thrifts
Once I take half of their shit I head off to K-Mart
I notice something really nice as I grab my shopping kart
A gorgeous curvy women with a bell enticing me
I figure her to be about the age of 63
Sitting with a money bucket her beauty ain't faded
Maybe she can help out this man who's so jaded
I ask her a favor and sneak her to an alley
I get her on her knees and then begins to blow me
Slobbing on my knob it gives me so much pleasure
When out of her mouth my dick pulls her dentures
Now she begins to suck on my dick with no teeth
Slobbering and choking she can hardly breath
As I cum she gurgles my filthy load at last
She's not moving I think she may have had a heart attack


12. WRAPPING THE CHRISTMAS TREE IN THE ENTRAILS OF A GLOWING ONE TO CREATE A PUTRID LUMINESCENT DISPLAY

My wife has bitched at me for weeks to prepare a Christmas tree
It sits there undecorated but looks just fine to me
But she demands and so I must go out this evening
With me I take my Gauss rifle, it's time to go hunting
I find a large pack of feral ghouls near a run down mall
I unload on the pack and their bodies begin to fall
Out of the midst of all of them a bright green light appears
Within it is the pack leader, mutated for several years
Every inch of his body glows with radiation
Which he uses to revive his pack to all of my frustrations
This won't stop me however as I gun them all back down
Then blow this glowing one's head off with a .500 magnum round
Now before his carcass I take out my bowie knife
To extract his glowing entrails to bring home to my wife
She was quite disgusted as I wrapped the Christmas tree
A bright green glowing display for the family to see


13. RAPING A FATASS FEMINAZI WITH A SHARPENED CANDY CANE

Working my shift one evening at Santa's workshop
One of my fat whiny coworkers whines about the wage gap
The wage gap don't exist and she begins to yell at me
So I wait til after work for her to come out of the factory
I push her fat ass over and roll her into a dark corner
As she autistically screeches I pull out my candy cane and stab her
The sharpened end plunges deep into her crotch
As she screams about the patriarchy I muffle her with my cock
Eifel Towered by myself and my sharpened candy cane
Her mouth drools around my tiny elf dick as her crotch forms a blood stain
I stab her fifty times and then leave her for dead
These whiny ass third wave feminists fill my heart with dread
The snow covers her remains and she's never found again
But nobody here missed her and her obnoxious bitching
Everyone is happy and we move on with the holidays
Fuck your dumb opinions and remember that feminism's gay


14. DETONATING A MINI NUKE IN A WEEABOO'S RECTUM

Roaming through the radioactive wastes one pleasant day
I stop in confusion as I hear something really gay
A fat weeaboo queer spitting some dumb anime shit
Those fat hairy losers just make me fucking sick
I sneak a little closer to see what's going on
As usual with weeaboos it's something really wrong
His ass is in the air and I can see he's banging something
But it's a pillow of course that's taking his tiny dingaling
His hairy ass fully exposed, my fat man pointed at his sphincter
A mini nuke then catapulted for imminent disaster
He let's out a loud fart as it enters his asshole
It doesn't detonated quite yet as his rectum swallows it whole
Howling out in pain and yelling gay fake Japanese shit
Turning around and whining about my accurate and perfectly aimed hit
Suddenly without warning the nuke then explodes violently
Sending chunks of gore and body fat flying all around me


15. A GROUP OF NASTY NORTH POLE ELF SLUTS CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF A MAGICAL BUKAKKE WHERE SEVERAL TALKING SNOWMAN SHOOT EGGNOG FROM THEIR CARROT PENISES ONTO THEIR FACES

A few happy north pole elf teen bitches snowball fighting at the park
They shouldn't be out having fun at this time of the dark
They are suddenly surrounded by several talking men of snow
They pull out their carrot phalluses and proceed to groap these hoes
Tearing at their green clothing with their hands of branches from trees
The girls now are aroused by this and get down on their knees
The taste of carrot stimulates their tongues as they take turns fellating
Gagging on 10 inch carrot dicks while aggressively masturbating
The first snowman begins to climax and discharges his load
Spraying eggnog onto one of their faces as she tastes it and moans
The happy holiday fuckfest doesn't end there at all quite yet
As more snowmen discharge their eggnog semen making them soaking wet
The nasty little elf sluts lick the fluid off each other
When out of nowhere comes Macho Man screaming "Hey, that's my brother!"
A snowman sheds his outer layers and to their surprise
It was merely Hulk Hogan in a wintery disguise
"I'm back again", he says to them "Though the WWE kicked me"
"Saying nigga's not racist, have a merry Christmas eve!"