1. WHAT I'VE WANTED TO SAY

The best and the worst of me at the same time
Make a tin cans with strings to you, let
You know I really mean it all
And the more I say it the more
I just sound like a carnival
Barker yelling selling art
Just don't worry about looking dumb,
I do it all the time,
It's actually pretty fun
And whatever, it's overblown,
As relative as hot and cold and good
And bad and young and old
Do anything, there's no wrong,
It's all right
This is what I've wanted to say this whole time
I wish for you what I wish for me
The flashlight, the means, the reason, the medium
I will say this, will you listen?
If you don't listen I don't mind
I'll still say it if you don't listen
If you don't listen I don't mind
This is what I've wanted to say this whole time


2. LOVE AMERICAN STYLE

"I know you," she said, "you're that guy from my TV!
You're that guy that killed all those kids!"
We got off to a pretty good start
"Oh, boy, look what we've won! OhBoyohboyohboy!"
Love, American Style
"Oh, yea, um. . . , which one?
Geraldo or Montel or Ricki or good ol' Oprah?
All those shows are one. The eating of brains and
the bleeding of hearts, it all makes for some pretty cool Art. "
Where's that smile?
We got off to a pretty good start
We got off


3. IN THE AISLE YELLING

Blessed be messed up me.
Should I feel different?
Was I crying to get my face wet?
To discern what I did from what I've thought. . .
It's hard to discern what I gave from what I got.
It's part of me. . . Blessed be.
Low-lit theater, quiet crowd.
I'm on the screen, projected;
I'm in the aisle, yelling fire


4. GIRL

I am not to blame (I was just a little girl).
I am still ashamed in a way.
But you never said you were just a little girl;
you can always call my name.
All for love. . . so you said.
Out of love. . . so I fell.
Things you never said (I was just a little girl).
Were you scared or ashamed?
Then you took away my little place in the world,
where I would play.
All this time. . .
You will never say I was just a little girl ever again.


5. SEASICK

Believe this as you convalesce: I'm seasick.
I'm bleeding from open sores.
Four days ago, you said soon we'd hit shore.
And finally, we've found this land.
For all the gifts the people give,
bloody beaches and severed hands is what we return.
I'm kind of nauseous.
Either I don't like this, or I'm still seasick.
And I find it hard, it's so hard,
I'm finding out you're a liar again.
(no, I never said enough)
You gave me what was never yours.
You know what? I don't want it.


6. JOB'S EYES

The birds would laugh at Job,
their song would torture him.
Always, a steady rain fell,
Soaking and chilling him.
He could always see a dry, light place on the horizon.
He would walk for miles, muttering,
I'm sure this rain won't last.
I'm sure it's time is up.
Though it's pouring down, I'm sure this rain won't last.
As it fell on Job's eyes, this water of doubt,
He said, "I'm wading in lies, it's wearing me out.
But if you want it, all right.
I'll buy it. " The trees whispered to Job.
The wind screamed, "blood too dirty for mosquitoes,
I hope that you die soon.
Pray to any god you believe in.
One day, Job screamed back. "Those people, they had Families.
Their families don't have them. You're not any god I Believe in.
I hope the rain ruins the work you did.
At that moment, the clouds parted.
Job found himself in the sun.
Job's god was left in the storm that he'd created.
He moaned, "I'm sure this rain won't last.
I'm sure it's time is up. Though it's pouring down,
I'm sure this rain won't last. "


7. PUNCHDRUNK

It wore him down; his head was hanging sideways,
his lids were slits.
This happened almost nightly now.
He raised the gloves and waited for another round.
He waited for the bell to ring,
he prayed the lord would save his eyes.
He heard church-folk swaying and sighing,
"it's all right". He liked his kids,
he liked his sky-blue Valiant, he liked the pay.
"The boss' fine young talent" they all would say.
And just a pension later he'll be free,
do what he wants. Bereave the dream, now sleep,
now slowly die. (Lie l-lie, lie l-lie lie lie l-lie)


8. CELEBRATE HER

There is a love
Doesn't flower, doesn't die, doesn't follow,
doesn't try, doesn't worry,doesn't cry
I know why
Bare in her innocence,
bare in her mystery
She knows me
I know this: I know nothing
She's wearing a gown of roses
Celebrate her, celebrate her song


9. BORING LIFE

You're like kissing lipstick;
You're pasty, warm and dry.
You're boring, you bore me.
You're such a boring guy.
At first I kinda liked it,
The way it oozed out of your mouth.
Then there was more and more,
And it got got boring.
Just another boring lie.
So what if I just pick this knife up and cut you all Across your smile?
Would that be boring?
Would that be boring, or just one less boring life?
Boring life.


10. JOINING THE CIRCUS

Never won a medal for bravery
Never won a medal for tact
Never thought 'the truth' would enslave me
Turn me into something too close to a liar
I'm joining the circus, I'm going away
Waving from the boat, I don't cry
I will arrange
Savor the lie
Go blind on all these words
Divine myself this urge
I'm joining the circus, I'm running away
the people I won't know, the places I won't stay
Now where is the circus? I only see clowns,
Half-naked girls and mirrors
I leave them in the sea to drown
I love her now.


11. CUT-OUT

You're one of a kind, smooth and sublime
A hella cool dude, a wonderful guy
So what is it like to be liked, to be right, all of the Time?
And every time I wander by
The plastic of smiles, the corners of eyes. . .
I wanna race them lemmings into the sea
Look up through the water
Touch bottom.
To my Mother, to my friends, I'm all right.
Am I all right?
It's mine, all mine.
Tu-ra lu-ra
Cut-out, you're a doll. You're cut out to fit right in.
And you fit right in.


12. SORROW'S END

I used to think, "I've never been through it,
The deaths and stuff that make us old enough. "
Old enough to love a boy whose name
I still don't know. We traded voices,
Blurted accidents.
Brutal Winter froze through Spring's slow crawl.
In the Summer's burn,
The impending Fall.