1. THE ARCH OF ENTHROPY'S FIRE

To those who now listen, how did it come to this?
At last I have arrived at truth and all the noise has ended
Refusing my destiny by choosing to suffer
Welcome this victim's legacy
Changing perceptions of an infected past
Constant exile became thundering lunacy
Perfection and perversion, dystopia and decay
There is no future, only this life

The minutiae of emotion crystallises to memory
Ephemeral moments of a paradigm shift
The tremendous density of a critical point
Early conditions of a fundamental cause

The most important illusion to sustain is that I matter
Interests and prospects damned by my own words
Everything I do seems to remind me of a failure
All trouble is permanent, an end in itself

After the final blast disfigured the landscape
Born from above like a bomb
I hid beneath the magnitude of trauma
Most in fear of that which had already happened

The march of progress and paranoia
Toward my doom with a beleaguered smile
Practicing for my suicide
No speech nor language for such a change
All who live shall die alone
Says the embittered to the idealist
Hopeless, worthless, internalized
A self-defeating gangled wretch

The archers beyond death with no enemy
Impotent as their arrows broken
Bows bent by age and muscle warped to fat
Ability unchallenged reduced to complacency
A shiver in the basement as I emerge from hibernation
Time will not slow down for me
Gasping as the soft rains fall
I am the only human being to survive


2. SPARKS OF HUMANITY

What else can I do but stay alive?
As a vagrant I wander the wastes
Unhealing wounds upon my scarred heart
A victim bearing the brands as trophies
These are the years of transformation
Of savage decisions and necessary cruelty
Running out of a habit of danger
Crushing beauty as if to feel beautiful

I wish I had not rejected the few who cared
I miss them now like an echo of gratitude
How I wept as those sparks were extinguished
Still I dream of their faces through the dust

Night upon night, afraid to share my pain
Ashamed to even ask, learning to be helpless
Moonlight is harsh and full of memories
Still the scream remains inside

I am the pallid light of pressure without grace
Blank with despair, heated and weary
I am a pale beast tamed by a lamb
Mouth stretched like the stupid yawn of chattel

Treating myself as fragile, shattered by the wind
A crawling, cringing, daunted coward
Degraded by inveterate fear and retrograde guilt
And the sudden tragic end

I am a blasted husk in this scorched landscape
None remain to cry for the dead, no hope for what I once was
I am this fallen earth of utter loss and barren spirit
Dark emotions beneath an arch of hatred

Still I feel rhythms in the empty streets
As vultures circle in missing man formation
Searching this planet for the secret trove
Eager to hear the voices of the ones I loved

Harshness, desolation, coldness, survival
Stalked by disease, hunger and scarcity
The stubborn reek of leprous stink
What remains does not live

Likely, I will not see tomorrow
Yet worrying about the future is another way to change it
Tenacious, determined, and adapting
As character is chiseled between extremes
Every child is the only child
A universe of individuals - each alone
A warrior without weapons is a warrior still
Shifting, growing, improvising destiny


3. THE MYTHMAKER

Why now am I reminded of my lost humanity?
Scents of familiar music upon the grieving wind
My seething mind is a questing razor
Memories come unbidden in the shadows
The miserable shape of the bottomless past
Empty with shock and the stress of thinning emotions
Eternity is but another season
And it too shall pass away

This timeless void of running seems like sullen stagnation
Spans the self-imposed tyranny of loneliness
Poignant impressions of each moment
The burning path is the one of change

Absorbing the pain as if to defend my confines
Personality conditioned by changing behaviors
The indefinite ways the cosmos might conform
Framed by doubt and dreams of the end

There are no miracles, there is no resurrection
Prescience is the result of a drug
The holy land is a violent place
Sweeping visions shall reap heavenly crusades

Denying variety and time without parallels
Demanding that all follow a predetermined pattern
Reducing all to absurdity to justify my fear
Control is another illusion - Let go of the universe!

Still they marvel at the light from stars long dead
All is transient, forever scattering
Still they revel in the bloom of youth
Yearning for the touch of another human being
Still theories are accepted as immutable laws
Wizened by lore yet ignorant of life
A consequence lost is another lesson lost
I know it in myself

The mistakes of chance and heredity
The recessive undesirable traits
The madness of singularity
The foolishness of certainty and precision

I am not a rebel, but a closet aristocrat
Cynical, depraved and in denial
Vigor has fallen to paradox
No longer can I strive or grow for I am now god
I am the living trigger and the framer of thoughts
Killing and reforming the archetype
The futility of megalomania
Looking back, I resent everything


4. THE HYPNOTIST OF HYPERCUBE TRASCENDENCE

Am I an individual or just a pattern of behaviors?
A frustrated observer unable to control
I am this monolith - impressive and solitary
Lingering without being perceived
The crux is corrupted, inadequate, illusory
Assumptions in the center, a point of blindness
I built this model around a flaw
So failure can never confront me

I am a machine of heat, entropy, and friction
Simplified into a drone of fear, hunger and lust
A critical period of social development
Being is motion and I stand still

Purity is a symptom of waste and neglect
Only a stylite would be so proud
From atop a tall and narrow pedestal
I shall be toppled by my own pretensions

The fallacy of regression, cause where none exists
Once I believed then was betrayed
Friends are still alive and unchanged in my thoughts
And I can never forget because I am alone

An eye of contradiction in the core of stability
Absorbed within myself, all is elusive
Barriers I created, the arrogance of secrecy
The altered state of memories is now my existence

Calculate the imponderable for the thrill of possibilities
To avoid facing the harshness of the present
An instant of fulcrum and quiet privilege
Becomes the slow sinking into insanity

Beauty is vanity, says one embittered soul
Without companions, obsessive and hateful
Desperate for others, I surrounded myself with mirrors
And grew to despise the sincerity of my reflection

Clues, codes, and mysteries - a sea of irrelevance
Ambitions pale beside the remembrance of those I loved
The questioning child weaves uncertainty
Because not one answer will suffice

From a brave man I've become a whimpering creature
Initiative to inertia through inexplicable disillusion
At last in a dream I see her and I speak
And she turns her back on me - she doesn't remember

It is always too late and it is never too late
Dying and birthing in constant flux
Voices surround me to join them in life
Circling and mocking like my wounds agape
A palindrome while clever is still an enclosed system
Emotions collide until stagnation and freezing
Momentum and intent defeated by indecision
It's all my fault, I could have been


5. SUNKEN SHORES OF FATAL SYMMETRY

What naivete could have caused such desecration?
One autumnal night I detached and buried myself
I drove out the sun and killed all growth
And worshipped the trauma that scarred my destiny
I became guilts, phobias, neuroses, compulsions
Gifted with wings yet lacking knowledge of their use
Mundane expectations and the sheen of despair
Potential ruined by terrible circumstance

Almost a year is lost and there are more days ahead
Whilst my own limbs become cumbersome and weary
Delusional, pathetic, spastic, and limp
Repressing conflict and ineluctable meltdown

Denying emotion, pleasure becomes routine
Sweltering, stifling, blighting decrepitude
Disguised by layers of useless humor
My laughter is hateful to deprecate the optimist

All my heroes are dead if they ever existed
Retreating into patterns of defensive isolation
The narcotic apathy of daydreams and fantasy
And the pain is overwhelming

I am not a philosopher but a narcissist in a fugue state
Vapors of the past normalize into my ghosts
I framed the walls and mountains that enclose my sanity
Suffocating the senses and the instincts of power

Adapting to the dark I became anxious of the light
Movements slow and fragile, eyes dull as a mask
Reacting to abandonment by abandoning myself
A derelict child upon gargantuan shores

Submerged within a delayed mind, alone with my hostility
Only to guess at the depths of the caldera
Hiding in hurts, using them as an excuse
The cringing incongruity, the victim on display

Incapable of even sleep
Memories of joy are forgotten
Embalmed by my own lies
Driven to the point of honesty, I surrender

I can no longer suspend my disbelief
No one touches me to validate my existence
I'm sick of living underwater
I want my humanity back!!!

This is not my paradise
Creativity channeled into madness
Frozen on the critical moment
Reliving failure in quiet rot
This should not be happening to me
Insane because I turned my back on her
All I can do is exploit my wounds
Dying in a vacuum of loneliness

I must not drown in my own intellect
Tides of extinction below the psyche
Dreams of genocide fade as fear dissolves
Capable of more devices than destruction
I want to stomp and prance in affirmation
Spiders at the gate of an inner world
Damaged, broken, obsessed
I will be with her again


6. A WIZARD'S DESTINY

Why is pain so compelling to me?
Through the night I've crawled, hateful and ashamed
Drowning powerless in the despair of my worst memories
Confronted with and tortured by my own secrets
I cannot choose not to believe, I need to know
Stay close to me as this story comes to pass
A momentary glimpse of the ones behind the net
And the twinkling eye of the maker of the wands

Running down a slope of recollections
The descending mist of a gaunt and silent spectre
The coiling of nerves and the tightened hush
The bowstring tension of anticipation

I have become the abyss that reflected me
Sympathy or apathy if the dead could speak
Holes in the heavens like the gaps in myself
Crying as fantasies breed frustration

The sunrise has not come, drained of all hope
Absence, nothing, a child in the dark
Hearing the screams of my dying parents
Witnessing the killing, touching the cadavers

A flash of sickness and the rush of speeding death
The shrill high laughter of a merciless voice
A murderer crushed by protective love
Seven mutilations of a single soul

The pure lust for inflicting hurt
A pitiless gaze atop a lipless mouth
Images of my friends weaken and fade
Each doubt reopening miseries long suppressed

As every promise abandons me
Excruciating loss is transmuted into iron resolve
I am the spark before the blaze
Beyond all restraint in an instant of fury

Beads of light vibrate to the timbre of joining wills
The brothers meet and the cores sing in recognition
The synchronicity of two minds equal in strength
Now it is I who calls you by name

Father and mother are gone and I can never be whole again
Every fibre bore the pressure contorting every wound
I will not die crouching, hiding, kneeling in supplication
Straight-backed and proud I am the stone of your defeat

For all the times I feared to speak
For all the days I dreaded the dawn
For all the years I fought alone
I shall give you the obliteration of the curse that disappears you like the words you have spoken!!!

As a dream of distress fades upon awakening
Agony is reconciled over the creeping of time
Healing tears of vindication and wisdom
The graceful retribution of maturity

The boy who lived is now the man with the lightning scar
The one who survived as the other diminished
Beast being and spirit shall endure to testify
He was a master of spells.


7. QUEST OF THE TIMELORD

[instrumental]


8. THE PHILOSOPHY OF SUICIDE

What went wrong today? Everything is so controlled
Ideals were abraded by reason
Impotent dreams on an overcast day
Out of the depths I have cried and no one has heard
Gods and heroes and imaginary companions
Unrequited promises no longer suffice
Rhythm to repetition, perseverance to insanity
Just because you're alive doesn't mean others should want you

Knowledge is temptation, I repulse myself
On the borderline between neurosis and psychosis
Dissecting my actions instead of being in the present
I dissociated my fear and allowed it to advise me

I am not a messiah, I am a man in trouble
An unbearable waste with no excuse
Pathetic and scared by grotesque loneliness
Morality wasted in isolation

Tomorrow's smile never comes for me
Ambitious but incapable, weak without direction
Another spring prepares me for another summer alone
And there is no return from the killing hour

To be honest it is not this world I hate
But the circumstances which shaped my mediocrity
Fading in an abyss of inaction, said the mirror
This is not a work of fiction - this is my life

Rape the children for their own good
Scars awaken a tragic sense of destiny
Hope is deception born in alienation
To the frantic throbbing of my own heart

Sorry does nothing, objectifying me with pity
Removing yourself from blame, feigning innocence
If those who find me claim to love me, where were they when I needed them?
Some friends would have been nice

Always anticipating, never receiving, I wait
I may see her soon and I will never leave her again
Perhaps next year, perhaps one day, perhaps never
I am not a child yet I am so inferior

At last I reach out, but am I too late?
Ideation of a choice as I pace in agitation
I just wish I could go back and reverse this mistake
I wanted to dance with her one last time

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression
Anger, depression, bargaining, anger
Depression and anger in a cycle of envy
I did nothing to deserve this, I did nothing

Stop this please - I'm in pain
Why doesn't anyone care?
And who will tell her that I've died?
And how will she know how I suffered?
At last I surrender to tears
As I trace my veins
All I can think of is her
And how much it hurts

HELP ME


9. THE EXTINCTION PARADOX

What little have we learned from this perfect accident?
Everything makes sense and everything is real
Who am I? Who was I? Who will I become?
Existence in extremis as the rim of this plane melts
Who can say what is impossible? Who will be by my side?
Should the victim forgive or curse them all?
Is living that simple? Who knows but the dead?
What is the fulcrum, what is the lever, and where do I stand?

A shiver in the basement then the falling of birth
Running, accelerating, scattering, progressing
The capacity of memory without stricture or cause
A creator who rested after the foundation was finished

I am just another sparrow passing through the stream
Of an obscure continent moving through the heavens
The day is late and this will be my final sunset
Crushed between the membranes of opposing times

The lovers behind the net considering the dance and the silence
Through heroism and adventure I've arrived at myself
Snap the bonds of paradox and swallow the wheels of fate
Sequence shifts and the only truth is the present

There is one world, there are many worlds
Reflections and echoes confused beneath the arch
Leaves lose their pigment and hair drains to grey
Are there any who dream of me? Was I ever destined?

Anadigm, paradigm, anadigm, paradigm
How can anything be obsolete if it exists in every moment?
Conception to execution, extinction to renewal
The mantle burns, the crux corrodes, all will pass and fade

Utter endless havoc, gravitational unbinding
As another universe dies, a lost and lifeless generation
The machinery of the human body stagnates at maximum entropy
And all I see are ashes ashes ashes ashes

Matter cannot be created or destroyed, all one needs is already available
Absolute failure is just another illusion, the world will not end
Uncertainty breeds more questions, more questions breed more quests, more quests breed more life, more life breeds
Change, collapse, reinvention, the last enemy that shall be destroyed is fear
In your hour of triumph, those who failed before you will not spite you
But rejoice in your success, for you have fulfilled their lives
The smallest mote, halved until infinity, can never reach zero
Intrinsic value can never be eradicated - quantum immortality!!!