1. SOLDIER

If god forgives, then god forgive me because the pain
I cause is the pain I feel.
Underachieve... there is not much I'll ever be when all
I see is the evil that surrounds me.
If god forgives then god forgive me.
If god forgives then god forgive me.
You don't forgive all I see is the evil that surrounds me.

It's amazing how quickly the mind matures
When the world outside creates internal war.
I know, I know what's right... I do the wrong thing.
My heart and soul will fade until emotions die.
May the fire in my eyes light the way for me.
May the bridges that I burn take out my enemies.
If god forgives, then god forgive me.


2. FIRST BORN

Am I wrong because I made dumb mistakes?
How could I let them take your breath away?
Would your face look just like my face?
Now you're gone.
Erased.

One more sleepless night.
Intellect vs.
Emotion my heart points in one direction
But my mind still chose another
Be strong.
Be strong for the life that's lost. be strong for the others.
be strong for the life that's lost because here will be no other.

I wonder who you could have been.
Eraser....erased.

No more sleepless nights.
The darkness opens my eyes to the light.
Don't waste your time
Mixed emotions... stick your decision.
I'm strong.
I'm strong for the life that's lost.
I'm strong for the others.
I'm strong for the life that's lost
Because there will be no other.

Picture a little seed looking just like me,
Growing up in straight up poverty.
Cope w/o necessities.
Eventually resenting me for the way that
Things turned out to be.
Hell no, that shouldn't be. ya'll niggas don't know me,
Ain't shit that ya'll could show me.
Word is bond I done been through it all before.
See, throughout my 18 years
I have seen things most of ya'll wouldn't even dream,
Never mind believe.
So don't come to me your speeches on how things could be,
Because I've already seen it.
Believe that.


3. DIRTY JER-Z

You that slick ass kid, that politic and dash kid.
Turn a small investment into quick cash kid.
Hide your stash, mad, don't hardly laugh kid.
Hard cause' the world done put you on your ass kid.
Run fast. the type the cops can't catch kid.
Numb, when you was young your mom and dad passed,
Then your world stopped ...like whiplash kid.
You seen who wash down when they turned they backs kid.
Pay them no mind cats is bastards.
Fuck em.

Do your thing baby.
Continue to shine.
Let it all hang.
Let it all hang baby.

Come and get it. you.
The best.
That's why they hate.
They want your spot in the sun.
Make you vacate. come and get it,
Bring it on
Step to the plate.
I'm the king.
Make room for me.

It's a god damn shame how those kids were adoring you,
Even though they knew you flushed crack down the urinal
Role model, you was, it came as a shock to you.
They don't wanna be like mike,
They wanna sling rocks like you:
A "real nigga" from the hood, come and see,
Shake they hand.
Making them feel good putting cash in their little hands
Was it a mistake you screwed their minds
Or was it your plan?
How could you ever throw this away?

Step aside.
If you could see their eyes when you walk by ...hypnoitized
They want into your life and you promised them the sky
They bought into your lie.
Your lie.
Your lie.


4. A FATHER'S MARATHON

Live alone...die alone.

Keep running.
I'm supposed to be the sun in your sky,
Or the one that you would die for cry for give it all
And lay it on the line for...but I'm not.
I don't know you - you don't know me.
I don't know my own dad and he don't know me
You turned your back and walked away
Walked away.

I spent 19 years without you,
Learned to fight without you,
Played catch without you, grew without you,
Learned to ride my bike without you.
You're not a man because men don't run.

I had to stand strong and tall and brave and barren.
You never even gave me a chance you just ran
Ran took from your son, took your love.

Keep running. you cant bring back the years,
Reverse my tears or fix the hole in my heart right here
You can't fix the hole in my heart right here.
Questions right here... daddy did you care?
Why were you not here?
Do you know my age?
If so, how old am I now?

How can't you remember when you made me?
Do you not remember the seed you left behind?

You're not a man because men don't run.
Took from everyday to come.
Ruined everyday to come.


5. GUARANTEED

Growing up as a young buck,
There wasn't too much that i could touch.
And i was in a rush to get a taste of the good life.
And people told me i was a waste of a good life.
And i would not escape living the hood life.
But yo, life is hell and that that's grown to be expected.
The only way to cope with the pain is to accept it.
Times is hectic, we grow up quick.
Endure the hardships and watch our skin grow thick.
In turn. you gotta learn my heads as hard as a brick,
So can't nobody ever tell me shit.
And that's the truth.
As youth i hated all of you with a passion.
Those who never stood in my shoes would be laughing
And cracking jokes while their two folks raked in the dough
X-mas 86' niggas had nintendo.
Word is bond, i ain't have shit...i had pretendo,
And at show and tell i ain't have shit to show.

This goes out to those who thought shit was sweet
E.T.C. e.town concrete.
And yo, niggas wanna be down me.
Word is bond we taking over son, guaranteed.

All ya'll niggas fake.
Ya'll niggas act too phony.
2 years ago you didn't even want to know me.
But now look at you, you copy my style.
You're lucky enough i let you still be around to play your weak shows in you weak ass town.
We straight up beefing, when you see me i see you peeking
You just mad cause' my team rose while you were sleeping
Center stage, took your limelight mad now you heated.

We're taking all your fans i guarantee it.


6. PACEMAKER

Stay...keeps me on my feet /makes my heart beat.

when you're born pain it always remains.
No matter how your life changes, it never fades.
If I could cry until the world stops turning.
To give me some time to think.
My insides are still burning.

What the fuck is wrong with me?
I got a ticking time bomb in me.

Block your teardrops. stop...lock your handle.
The world don't stop boy.
The world won't stand still.

What the fuck is wrong with me?
I got a ticking time bomb in me.
I'm the only one that's harming me.
Will I be who I think I should be?
Nothing's ever as good as it seems.
Nothing's ever as good as it seems. no.

Tick-tock-tick-tick-tock.
Tick-ticking-ticking.

What the fuck is wrong with me?
There's a ticking time bomb in me.
Happiness is gone from me.
Chasing those perfect dreams.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Got a ticking time bomb in me.

Nothing's ever as good as it seems.
Nothing's ever as good as it seems


7. STRANGLEHOLD

So you say it's love you show, huh?
Like you ain't know you tortured my soul.
Every day stunting my growth.
Put me in a stranglehold, so you can control.
Eating me away you don't even know.
You took my innocence, pissed on it and put your dick in.
I couldn't believe every night i pray "help me please"
Down on my knees.
And you never answered me.

One foot in the grave. no you cannot be saved.
It's what you thought i should be.
You can't fight destiny.

You took everything. everything.

If you were so omniscient, omnipotent and omnibenevolent,
I'd kneel to you.
All you ever showed me was thunder and rain,
Hunger and pain.
Help me find my way. help me find my way.

You fucking pervert burn in hell
I want to make you feel pain
If there was any god, he would take your worthless life away
Make innocence your prey, then take it away.
Rape it away.
Burn in hell and i screamed...screamed for the lord.
But no one answered my calls.

Fuck you god. you never answered my calls.


8. SICK WORLD

It's a sick sick world.

Die laughing, die with passion.
Die fast and go out blasting.

When the only thing that matters is GI Joes,
This world is less complex i suppose.
If time froze at the age of innocence,
Life at it's purest form.
The simplest.
Recognize change starts from within.
Remember before we started to sin?
And kids were allowed to be kids?
Where's the innocence?

Die laughing, die with passion.
Die fast and go out blasting.
Fuck the world.
Keep blasting.

They say there's something wrong with us.
Maybe we lost touch, maybe we fucked up.
But i don't think there's something wrong with us,
I think you lost touch.
I think you fucked up.
Point the finger at your self this time.

Do we love our children or neglect them?
When they speak do you listen?
Do you pay attention?
Pay attention.
Kids are starving for attention.
For so long.
Ask yourself, where did we go wrong?

Call me insane.
The internet has corrupted my brain.
Desensitized by video games.
Pulling me in.
Making me sin.
Recognize change starts from within.

It's a sick sick world.
Hahaha.
Who's laughing now?


9. SHAYDEE

Hard times build character, or so i'm told.
They teach you lessons worth their weight in gold.
And i've been shown things happen for a reason.

I know your kind. you want one thing: the gusto.
Keep it in mind.
I know your kind.

What up chief?
You's a shifty thief with shaydee eyes.
Play the role like a toughguy.
You need a grammy.
It's wack. smile to my face, talk behind my back.
In fact, when i'm around you be riding my sac.
Your shit is played out.
Try and use me to get your name out,
So you can stay out, cash in the fame no doubt.
I ain't stupid. i know what your about son.
Getting that clout done,
So you can attract a bigger crown dunn.
Yeah, you's a foul one.
Always preach "keepin it real",
When you're a fake bitch handing out raw deals.
Your shit is too sloppy to have appeal.
Your style is too cliche for masses to feel.

You's a shaydee jealous bitch, try and play me to get rich
Fit in my niche.

E.town.

This goes out to my peeps up in the crowd.
This goes out to my niggas getting wild.
This goes out to the kids that's representing.
This goes out to toughguys teaching lessons.
This goes out to those that are true.
This goes out to you.


10. WEAK LINK

Sometimes my mind fluctuates, from love to hate.
Cause' i love all ya'll, it's this world i hate.
This is my fate.
It's something i just can't control.
Cemeteries feeling more like home than where i roam.
If you could patch this hole that's inside my soul
I think i'd take a shot at growing old.
Hell no, don't speak.
I know i'm weak, i wanna leave.

F-u-c-k the world.

Take.
Take it away.
Every moment.
Every day.
Not a thing you say can take away my pain.
Away.

The pain inside makes you afraid of who you see.
Who you've grown to be.
On your knees you pray.
Pray for the will to take this all away.

I sit beneath grey skies, close my eyes.
Cry.
Watch my world pass by.
Who am i? second thoughts cross my mind,
Am i still gonna try?
Will the world move on?
Who's left behind?
Here's some advice,
You've been a pussy your whole damn life.
Don't turn back now.
Don't think twice.
You want sympathy?
You gotta pay the price.
You want sympathy baby?
Pay the price.


11. THE PHOENIX

So i take another step,
And one more breath closer to death.
There's things going on in this world that got me stressed.
Lately i find myself searching my soul.
Looking for signs of life, a warmth in the cold.
I'm young and restless and they want me to fold.
I'm hard headed, i ain't never did shit i was told.
I get too mad too fast over too much shit,
But i put too much heart into the words i spit.
Maybe i'm too proud, maybe i scream too loud...
But what goes in, must come out. and i'm hurting inside.
I can't show it.
Obstructed by pride.
I ain't being hard i just don't know why.
Fuck tomorrow if i live or i die.
Who comes first?
You not before i.
I'm still a ways off from my lofty goals,
So fuck those who oppose and those who's acting like ho's
I ain't got time for ya'll. focus my goals.
I chose.
C'mon now, you just write ryhmes...i recite lifelines
You're in it for the long haul...i'm in it for a lifetime
Let a brother try to come between me and mine.
I'll lie cheat and steal to keep feeding mine.
That's the deal and that's for real, by any means.
Am i wrong because i want the finer things in life?
Hell no.
Take this world by storm.

All i ever wanted was a taste of.
All i ever wanted was a piece of what i could not have.