1. APNEA

You'll never sleep again

I heard a crash from the bedroom upstairs
You're screaming out my name
I open the door and know our lives will never be the same
She lays in tears, he's standing there
Climbed through the window and fled; another life left in ruin

This can't be one more shot to the throat of innocence
A memory best left forgotten
This is the poison of truth
You took something perfect and you just had to destroy it

Hang, bleed, I want you suffering
Nails deep within your skin
I live to see you rot for this
I'll make you beg, I'll make you beg

You'll suffer at my hand
Broken bones and slit wrists, pray for distance
You won't forget this name as long as you live
Make your peace with a god that will turn his back for just one night
Throw you to the slaughter with a whimpered goodbye
Yeah

Do you keep a body count
Of the lives you've destroyed?
You cover up the screams
But can't escape her voice

Hang, bleed, I want you suffering
Nails deep within your skin
I live to see you rot for this
I'll make you beg, I'll make you beg

You're such a waste of life, burn from the inside
When you meet death, he'll be your only friend
You're such a waste of life, burn from the inside
When you wake up in hell, you'll never sleep again

I'd throw you off that bed, break your ribs with my fists
I'll fucking show you the mess
You'll get the nightmare that you deserve
You'll never sleep again


2. TREMOR

I cast aside faith; you see these hands are trembling so why push me? I can't be bothered being everything that you need
Always on about making the right choice, but how should I know when I just can't stop what I've pushed away for way too long, the path I know is gone.

I take this pain as if I could wake up, say I'm done. Brush it off and forget it.
My mind is stuck. I bring the worst out within myself. There's too many nights I've been kept up that I've had enough. Don't tell me that I think too much.
And I've never felt so out of touch.

Pull me away from my pain
I can't stop this hate [2x]
I can't stop the shaking and can't stand the sight of my face
I can't stop this hate [2x]

I pray to be back to days where there was substance, I can't forgive these feelings that I hold inside, they destroy me. No matter what I say, I still feel this fucking hate.
Nothing gets past you, or so you think. Always putting your faith where it shouldn't be. So you can pull the claws out from under my skin; I won't let you in. I don't want you in my head.

Wrong from the start, I see right through. Everything you hate in me will blow right back on you.
It's taking over all of me. And there goes all the progress that I've made.
It's taking over all of me. And there goes my progress. I'll never leave.

Pull me away from my pain
I can't stop this hate [2x]
I can't stop the shaking and can't stand the sight of my face
I can't stop this hate [2x]

I take this pain as if I could wake up, say I'm done. Brush it off and forget it.
My mind is stuck. I bring the worst out within myself, there's too many nights I've been kept up
that I've had enough. Don't tell me that I think too much.


3. NIGHT TERRORS

Burn it down and forget what I would try to hide so incessantly but I just can't find release
For all the pain in my heart and all the ache it causes me while I bleed out for the people who've forgotten me. It's time to say what rests on my mind, ever since I fell to pieces, I've never felt so alive
Now I find you there staring at the edge of the sun, you try to get to safety, but you're losing light. This is a force I know I can't fight, cause even getting knocked out couldn't make me sleep tonight

I hope you scream when you hear my name. There's no place on this earth that you can escape. I hope you're lost and you never find peace. This is the weight of the world and I won't, I'll never let this crash on me
Eternal suffering awaits
You're just another soul to steal
Just because I cannot breathe, doesn't mean I can't feel
Now I find you there staring at the edge of the sun, you get to safety, but you're losing light. So you try not to make a sound, no one's saving you now
We'll burn it to the ground
We'll fucking burn it down. Don't leave a trace of evil left in this house
Burn it down, burn it down, fucking burn it down. Don't leave a trace of evil left in this house. Burn
It's the only way, burn it down and hope for peace. If i ignite it, maybe death will finally save me the pain of being all alone, of lessons never learned , and of the constant burning pain of always chasing things I don't deserve. Don't go looking when you know what's there. I promise there's no way to prepare
But still I wait to fix this other part of me. And there's no way that I can breathe without release. Please, let me sleep
I'm still haunted in my dreams and everything I've ever come to love has left me. Cause not a thing in this world is what it seems
I wanna know why you don't want me. I beg you to find me
I'm haunted by the screaming in the night. A fear that drives me to resent my name. I put these walls to shame. I toss and turn but there's no peace of mind. There's no diffusing this eternal hate. We'll burn it down in flames. Ignite!
We'll fucking burn it down. Don't leave a trace of evil left in this house
Burn it down, burn it down, fucking burn it down. Don't leave a trace of evil left in this house


4. DELUSION

I can't go on knowing that you're there alone, it's tearing at my soul. You're always watching and always waiting for my next dive into misery. Falling into this desperate deception you've left me to rot in. I can't be left alone, this might be your prison, but this is my home.

I am a ghost that you can't lock away, so make the most out off all my mistakes. You turn your back, I'll do away with all you've ever known.
I am a ghost [2x]

What do you want from me?

I won't be part of your plan to derail me. Why can't you fucking see? How selfish can you be?
Watching and judging everything that I do. I won't play victim because you:
Take everything to heart, take each word I say and tear it apart, analyze each breath I take, watch every move I make. [2x]

I am a ghost that you can't lock away, so make the most out off all my mistakes. You turn your back, I'll do away with all you've ever known.
I am a ghost [2x]

Until I fade and cease to breathe, I'll always feel your eyes watching me.
You're all I hear; I'm all you see.
The only name you'll ever speak.

A constant war; you'd rather see me collapse than help me carry all the weight you love to force on my back. You watch me fall again, but I refuse to sit and watch that part of me just die, I deserve my fucking life.

You're running out of steam, but you're part of me. If you'd just let yourself see, there's nothing we can't be, but there's just no way to trust you, there's no way to save you, I won't play the victim just cause you...
Take everything to heart, take each word I say and tear it apart, analyze each breath I take, watch every move I make. [2x]

I am a ghost that you can't lock away, so make the most out off all my mistakes. You turn your back, I'll do away with all you've ever known.
I am a ghost [2x]

Until I fade and cease to breathe, I'll always feel your eyes watching me.
You're all I hear; I'm all you see.
The only name you'll ever speak.


5. WITHERED

I can't even remember the first time you led me down this path.
Fuck.
I never once in my life thought I could ever feel much lower than this.

This book is open; I try to pour my thoughts out on these pages but my will is broken. The fear is setting in.
I could give you everything you need, but I think the motivation's leaving me.

Every day is the same dark feeling.
Time's fleeting, anger's leaving me.
It's getting harder to relate and release.
This road is pulling away from what I want but that's okay, some things are easier missed.
I'd rather fail than sit and wish.
So why would I quit?
Maybe indecisiveness is the winner, shadow's getting bigger, my soul starts to crumble and wither.
And I think I'm losing all control.

Where's that old fire that I'd pride myself for always holding inside?
Guess I could stop pretending to be something I'm not, is it something I want, or is it something I've got?
It's time to stop second guessing every single thought.
I think I've lost.

Scraping the bottom of the fucking barrel from the start.
How could I be so pathetic?

Every day is the same dark feeling.
Time's fleeting, anger's leaving me.
It's getting harder to relate and release.
This road is pulling away from what I want but that's okay, some things are easier missed.
I'd rather fail than sit and wish.

Every line's the same, they're all the fucking same.
I think the motivation's leaving me.
It's like the answer's right in front of me but old me won't let go of me.
The answer's there in front of me but old me'd never let me see.

Every day is the same dark feeling.
Time's fleeting, anger's leaving me.
It's getting harder to relate and release.
This road is pulling away from what I want but that's okay, some things are easier missed.
I'd rather fail than sit and wish.


6. DREAMER

I sit here counting the days

It starts to weigh so heavily.
And these thoughts keep running around my head as I keep spinning and spinning,
You have to chose; does this path from the past mean the world to you? On time, too late or too soon, will you be ready for your vision when it comes true?

Voracious, and you're out of your mind, always grabbing onto things that'll eat you alive. It's not the first proposition, it's the best. Everything is a test. Everything is a test. You don't know who you're talking to, I'll destroy your life and blame it on you. And as you think it stands, you're dead without me, so I can. You don't understand.

I'm stepping back from what I know is the truth, I just don't feel the way I used to.
I'd turn my back if you would follow me. We could just run away, we could just run away.

I feel like I'm obsessed, when I'm torn apart is when I'm at my best.
I'm not good at faking where I wanna be,
It's my heart or my sanity
Stuck in your head. Going over the things that you should've said.
On time, too late or too soon; will you be ready for your vision when it comes true? Cause when it does, it'll swallow you.
I fear the burden of truth.

Voracious, and you're out of your mind, always grabbing onto things that'll eat you alive. It's not the first proposition, it's the best. Everything is a test. Everything is a test. You don't know who you're talking to, I'll destroy your life and blame it on you. And as you think it stands, you're dead without me, so I can. You don't understand.

Let them promise you the world, but don't you take it. Cause when you give them what they ask, they'll turn their backs.
It's a sham.
A sham. A sham, it's all a fucking sham. Turn away and run from this as fast as you can. Don't let them force you to become their hand.
Don't let this slip through your hands. [4x]


7. FORGET ME

I'm writing this so I can take you off my mind. I've helped you time after time, but you still take advantage and think it's alright.

This doesn't get any easier to stomach. You step on your friends who wish you were dead. You could be getting better, but you leech instead.

Selfish, I can't stand to see you suffer when it's not even worth it. Some people just aren't worth your time (and most times, they never will be).

So why waste your breath on dead weight that holds you down and keeps you on the ground?
Don't let your self-doubt ruin you, it's gonna be up to you to see it through.

We could break the earth and then rebuild it for ourselves. We could make our own lives, say goodbye to this blank hell (We won't listen to anyone else), just you and me, as proud as I could ever be.

I'd go through hell to never hear your name. I hope you never find a way to get in the way again.
Just turn and leave, just turn and leave and then forget me.

I thought the burden was mine, to help you out of this hole you've been sucking yourself inside your whole life. Is all this worth just a little peace of mind? Looks like you're running out of time;
You'll never take what's mine.

Always over-stepping the line, you'll never take what's mine. I'm sick of starving just to feel alive.

That's the way it feels on the outside, often making sacrifices so other people feel fine.
Then we look at our own lives, we gave 'em all our time and yet we struggle to thrive.
Nothing left but to sacrifice, I'll find the light, and make things right.

It's time to let out the potential you hide.
We could break the earth and then rebuild it for ourselves.
We could make our own lives, say goodbye to this blank hell

We won't listen to anyone else
Just you and me, as proud as I could ever be.
I'd go through hell to never hear your name. I hope you never find a way to get in the way again.
Just turn and leave, just turn and leave and then forget me.
Cause now I know I just can't be alone. But I'm the first one to get in my own way .
After all this time you still decide to walk away. Turn on me and leave my heart and soul so incomplete. I'm just a failure scraping truth from your lies. You left my soul suffering. No more secrets, a family left in pieces, gone!

I'd go through hell to never hear your name. I hope you never find a way to get in the way again.
Just turn and leave, just turn and leave and then forget me. [2x]


8. THE PLACE I FEEL SAFEST

The secrets that we keep, they don't do justice to our good deeds. This feeling I can't shake, that I can't be heard. Why does this darkness feel so familiar?

As I begin to breathe, I awake to a new direction; this overwhelming sadness that won't leave.
Stay strong, stand tall, I'm here for you. All words that fall short of healing the wounds.

This distant doom (Can you hear me? Can you feel me?) There's nothing here for me. No greatness to achieve. You can't get over it. Just suppress, then count the days until the feeling comes back again.

I've got this feeling, this shortness of breathing
I've got the courage but don't have the meaning
I lose in love, I lose in life
These walls built to protect
Me cause my disconnect

I set the course; opening the same doors I have before. I've pushed you so far away, I can't make up this space. Looking in the same goddamn mirror every night, I stare and wonder why I can't fight.

You're to be held, not to be missed. You've shown the greatest love I've ever witnessed. I hope you get the life you see in your dreams, even if it's not including me.

The secrets that we keep, they don't do justice to our good deeds. This feeling I can't shake, that I can't be heard. Why does this darkness feel so familiar?

I want it back. I miss the bond of our skin, I miss the touch of your hand.
I want it back, I want it back. And I want it bad.

I can't shake, I can't shake, I can't shake this.
Far away from the place I feel safest
I'm reaching out as I watch you leave.
You're abandoning me, you're abandoning me.

You can't undo every word you've muttered out of turn.
You've been conditioned to hate, some things can't be unlearned.
Wrong ; you're condemned and fit to be misled.
This can't be dead. This can't be dead.


9. SILENCE

I start to feel the weight of everything beneath me. It seems like day to day I wait, waiting for the next mistake to blow back up in my face. What makes you think I'm not living up? Cause for everything I do, I feel nothing but unloved. Sometimes I feel like it's just never enough, never enough.

My hands just freeze; shake the snow from the trees.
Don't build this up unless you're planning to landslide into me.
I never saw this coming, I'll take my chances in running, I don't need tension for release.

The next time I put myself here, pull me out from the rut.
Because I don't think I can take more of this, pushing constantly until my last breath.
There's no time to find myself, not a second of air, there's not a moment to spare, and I'm screaming out my lungs, screaming out but no one's there.

Callous, careless,
How did you miss the fists of tyrants hiding in the shadows of spineless giants? It feels so out of reach.
Jealous, sightless,
How many times will you die before your death in your head, this is
Lifeless, defiance.
I fear a life left incomplete.

As time moves so steadily, it's making a fool out of me. I'm done depending.
I'm on my own now, I am on my own. I can't be disappointed, I'm expecting gold from a stone.
I'm on my own now, I am on my own. I can't have faith in you. It's getting old.

We're just a step away from drowning in our dreams.
I can't think of the last time that we were steady.
I don't like where our path is heading; but if this is forever, I'll take it right into my grave.

The next time I put myself here, pull me out from the rut.
Because I don't think I can take more of this, pushing constantly until my last breath.
There's no time to find myself, not a second of air, there's not a moment to spare, and I'm screaming out my lungs, screaming out but no one's there.

I try so hard to make these parallels meet; the illusion of control always follows me. I'm holding onto dreams, the patience I had is gone, I'm just so sick of second chances.
If you can't keep up, fuck you I'm moving on.
Because I can't keep thinking about what's going on in your head,
Sick of you not seeing where I'm coming from.
And I bet when I'm gone, you won't have anyone.
There's nothing wrong with getting sick of being stepped on.
And I bet if I found a way out, you'd fall right to the ground.


10. BEST MEMORY

My friend, your will is weak. I know one day, you'll be scared of me.
My problem is you don't understand that this is how I'd rather live my life instead.
You and me, we're exactly the same. I hope one day, you believe it.

Always seen as the second best. I always thought it was a test, but it's a matter of respect. And you have none for me; you'd rather see me fail than have me under your wing. You were the man I could never be. Why'd you leave so suddenly?

Every second's a loss, I've failed you the same. Compassion's gone for me, no more settling.
Somehow I still feel so broken, at the sight of myself at the edge. You will never let me go and never let me in.
You won't break me. This isn't worth all the effort and suffering.
You don't care about anything I need, leaving you abandoned is my best memory.
I know one day, you'll see we're the same. I know one day, you'll resent what you have come to be. [2x]

You were the man I would never be. Why'd you leave so suddenly? [2x]

Every second's a loss, I've failed you the same. Compassion's gone for me, no more settling.
Somehow I still feel broken, at the sight of myself at the edge. You will never let me go and never let me leave.
You've mistaken my love for a weakness. I won't let you just take advantage of my heart. Have we mistaken our pride for our progress? Do we accept and learn from mistakes? I won't be the same. I will not relate.
You can push me off day after day but you can't expect me to stay. You've mistaken my love for a weakness.
Forsaken.
You were the man I could never be, why'd you leave so suddenly?


11. ANOTHER LIFE

You felt the slow-motion dream
You knew the consequence
A quick fix, you're worry-free
What's the difference?
A pierce of the flesh;
You sealed her death
It should be you who's not breathing
You felt the slow motion dream
You knew the consequence
A quick fix, you're worry-free
Floating on top of the world as her soul leaves her body
I feel something change in me.

You made your bed, always strung out, and ignorant. Living in excess only to be suppressed.
You'd be surprised just how fast your life can turn around. You try to run but it's too late to take it back now.
You think you've seen it all? You think you've seen it all?
You're just in time to watch the whole thing fall.
You're just in time to take the fall.

In death, solace follows.
The final product of your mistakes. The dream is dead, another life laid to waste.

In testament to your failures.
The final product of your mistakes, another life laid to waste.
She wasn't a saint but you still pulled her in, you still held her so close to your heart, now you say that you weren't involved and that's the way things ended up, it was never enough. Now you're left to wander finding no solace inside a broken world.
You're a subject to your deceit. I won't let you get the best of me.
You're a subject to your deceit. I won't let you drag me down into your misery!

You say that that's the way things ended up, it's never enough. I bet it's hard to be a father when you're always out shooting up.
If you ask me, I find you fucking disgusting, it's not worth remorse or saving, you're a subject to your deceit.

If this is how you wanna live your life, then understand that you won't survive to see a second of peace inside this sick, sad world of your own design.
Desensitized.


12. I'M NOT WAITING

It's coming down on us all
time to watch the world fall
as we sit on the sidelines, all our pride is gone
But we can crush everything we've set in motion
if we choose to make a change.

Instill in me the death of thoughtlessness, take out the sickness. I wanna find something much
bigger than me. This feeling of darkness tears me down; living life under a black cloud. Through self-destruction we'll resist,
We can be bigger than this.

It's time to wake the fire in me. Nothing here on earth can hold me down, here on earth we stand our ground. I just can't help but be ashamed that we didn't take these steps in the first place.

So I refuse to live this life and have nothing to show, I'm sick of watching it come down and holding onto hope that someone else is gonna save the world. It can't wait, but we can fix it with the choices we make.

This is home and I can't let it go but it's dying slow. If we don't stop, we'll let it go up in smoke.
I can't just stand idly by and watch it die. It hinges on the next move, we can turn this all around if we chose.
So I'm not waiting for you.

Can't see the future, but I refuse to stand on my knees, so I'm not waiting for you. It's up to us to change the problems we see.

It's on me (x3)
Can't see the future, but I refuse to stay on my knees.
So I'm not waiting for you
It's on me (x2)
It's up to us to change the problems we see.

That sinking feeling in my head; this planet's slow and painful death. I try to put it all in perspective but I can't. Our world has gone to shit and we just sat there and we let it tear to bits.


13. SHATTERED

The only thing I want is peace, but all I feel is ashamed. I've got these sick, sad thoughts and all they do is replay. There's no way this is who I'm meant to be, I want my mind to be released, I want my demons abandoned.

They always said it was a shame; I'd watch my body rot any given day of the week, my soul has finally lost any shot of feeling fine again. I see nothing the same, the dark's here to stay.

But I'm no more a victim than anyone who feels like me, don't I deserve peace ?
It's goddamn hard when you think it never mattered if you'd wake up alive,
I often wish I could erase my mind.
No more a puppet to all this pain; so close to finally feeling serenity. I shouldn't be on this leash,
I will be free, I will decide my own fate.

I feel the cold wind on my back, the shackles have been released. Let me out into the world,
'Cause all I ever want is to be free. I hear the sky calling out my name, you may be you, but I'm not me. Let me out into the world, deliberately.

They always said it was a shame. Why can't you just get over it? It doesn't work that way, this is a sickness. No more preventable than death, I was made like this. Tear out my eyes 'cause
There's nothing to see.

I find myself in my head more often than I'm out. This is a sickness,
This is a sickness.
The thought of joy just hurts me more, and every move feels like a chore. But that's not me, I want release.

They say the pain is temporary. They say the feeling isn't bound to last. We cling to light but often find it submits to dark. Dead from the start, I was dead from the fucking start.

Maybe I know that I'm not perfect, but I know I don't deserve this prison. That's just who I am, and I can never lose hold, never lose hold again.

For once, I'd love to smile. And for once to finally mean it, I don't want to have to lie.
It's always looming, it's always there, always growing ever present in my nightmares
It's always looming, another year.
Cutting through me, it's gone or I disappear. It's not fair to have to live this way. I see people shrug it off, but it consumes and corrupts me. I'm fucking begging on my hands and knees. I should be long released, why would you keep that from me?

I feel the cold wind on my back, the shackles have been released. Let me out into the world,
'Cause all I ever want is to be free. I hear the sky calling out my name, you may be you, but I'm not me. Let me out into the world, deliberately.
I feel the cold wind on my back, the shackles have been released. Let me out into the world,
'Cause all I ever want is to be free.
I never wanted to live like this.
Separated from all the rest, but that's just who I am and I can
Never lose hold, never lose hold again.