1. UNSELF

This world is not my home, I’m just passing through;
My treasures and my hopes are placed beyond the blue.
Many friends and kin have gone on before,
And I can't feel at home in this world
Anymore.

This trying earth has torn my soul apart.
If this is not my home, where holds my weary heart?
Angels beckon me to Heaven’s open door,
And I can't feel at home in this world
Anymore.


2. ALL APART

“Play the part of You,
And learn it well.

Step out for the first time,
Leaving comfort behind.
Here: your peers; your newest of fears,
And you are to fall in line.
Make peace with the unfamiliar,
Its form, set in stone.”

Hurried into a sense of Self.
Rules unwritten, norms unspoken,
Mores to remain unbroken.
“You, who must bend to its folly,
Unallowed to break.”

Encouraged to flourish then punished all the same.
All that you teach is all that you betray.
No face to save when there’s no face to lose.
Which side of your mouth can I trust?

How dare you preach
That which you cannot practise.
“You are not the same,
Are you?”

To be deemed Other than
Should free you of the heavy burden
Of living a life you weren’t to live,
Fighting a fight you weren’t to win,
But alas, I still feel the weight.

So I retreat in search of solid ground,
In hope a haven forms about me,
With each of my patterns stitched on every flag,
Each bridge burned, every arrow drawn.

I am all apart.
I abstain.
I am recluse.


3. THERE IS NO WARMTH

At odds in every sense,
Within and without.
Enmeshed in the All.
Tested to untangle day after day,
Knot after knot, and for nought.
All for nought.

And I can’t bear how seamlessly they drift
Through a life that to me seems a gauntlet.
I just want to be as weightless as you seem.

Instead I feel the drag of every step,
The piercing glances that deem me inept,
And the allure of an early end.

Of all the eyes I try to hide from,
I fear most the ones that bore me,
For in them I see
Every ounce of the pain we share,
Yet an ocean between us.

When situations falter me,
There is no warmth.
When it’s not within me to speak,
There is no warmth.
Only estrangement and maliced tongues.

When the senses overwhelm,
There is no warmth.
When I’m crying out for help,
There is no warmth.

From them, from this, from me.

I'm so tired, so worn.
In self, forlorn.
Should I fall asleep,
Might I not wake?

They can't get me in my dreams,
And neither can I.
That world is mine.
This world is not.


4. THE SEARING GLOW

Sick of being force-fed incessant encouragements
Everywhere I turn,
Peddling the promise of potential.
Blinding; obstructing the firmament,
Occupying every fucking inch available.

Before you can shape your life
Into one worth living,
First you must commit to one
That keeps their pockets lined.
Never you worry, it’ll trickle down
Trickle down like droplets
From a tap thats’ pipes are fit to burst.

This vitriol stems not
From the basic drive to elevate,
But the altruistic guise you adorn,
Bringing the shovel to our lips.

Earn, toil, gain – ‘til your wallet is fuller than your stomach,
To sustain a life spent just having to
Earn, toil, gain – potential, power, promise, pay;
You’ve always far less than you think.

“We make sure of it, have-not.”

I long to venture out
And my eyes not singe
From the searing glow
Of endless neon monoliths.

They burrow through your deepest woes
To keep you in the harvest’s throes.

What twisted game is this,
When you’re serf to that which serves you?


5. A PLEA

(Instrumental)


6. LET US LIVE

Forgo your fears, stifle your doubts,
We cannot thrive ‘til they’re cast out.

What blessing had you upon your birth
That seemed to elude my cradle?

What anguish should befall you
Were I to become your peer?
And would it match the daily dread
Your ignorance costs me dear?

It seems our presence pains you,
But you’re at ease when we pass.
So if in your head I’m a deviant,
What about me can’t you stand?

Is it my skin? Is it my lover?
Is it my body and all that it’s suffered?
Is it the way I just want to be seen?
Is it my life you want taken from me?

We’ve been here all along,
Forever standing wronged.
What you see as deceit
Is our living honestly.
In the face of your abuse,
We stand with nothing left to lose,
We strive to speak our truth:
We live in spite of you.

This fear, you’ll never know.
This life, you’ll never lead.
This love, you’ll never feel.
This death, you’ll never see.

With what trace of resolve is left in my hands,
This once desperate plea… becomes a demand:
Let us live.


7. HANG THEM IN YOUR HEAD

I hear you speak of betterment;
Your goal to serve your fellow man,
Yet I fail to see anyone’s needs being met but your own,
As you rip the aid from their hands.

Food, shelter, care: all cordoned off,
Because no coin ever crossed your palm?
Your needless hoard is giving way.
The weight of your greed, it cannot sustain.

I know damning your name
Won’t change a thing.
Still, I’ll cherish the peace
That dreaming of your death brings.

Thrones are not built on empathy,
But a willful lack thereof.
As for those who inherit them,
Know that their comforts, gilded and profane,
Compound while yours just slip away.

Heavy’s the gold that adorns your hands,
Such that it keeps you from lending one.
The fortune of others but a squandered yield
That slipped your calloused grip.

Just how do you sleep
When your wealth breeds their want?
It’s sickening to ponder
How many peons have knelt before you
All so that you may walk on their backs.


Hang them in your head.
When there’s nothing left to feed on,
At least there’s always you.


8. FORECLOSURE

What does mercy concern you,
When it’s grief that helps fill your quota?
Choose a number, its value irrelevant.
You know we can’t pay; this, by design.

Delay.
Displace.
Deny.

Deeper still to dredge,
There’s life in this corpse under your tread.
Even then, when their last breath escapes you,
The debt passes on, the cycle born anew.

“O capital, stay your cruel hand!”,
“Since when did profit lay the law of this land?”,
They shout from the rafters.
Alas, this machine hears nothing,
And feels even less.

“Each life but a number,
Fear not our neutral blade
And its impartial swing.
The sum of your existence,
Just digits to be paid.”

Delay, displace, deny.
Consume.
Credit.
Deficit.
Foreclosure.

All dead peasants pay their debt.


9. THIS WORLD IS NOT MY HOME

This world is not my home, I’m just passing through;
My treasures and my hopes are placed beyond the blue.
Many friends and kin have gone on before,
And I can't feel at home in this world
Anymore.

This trying earth has torn my soul apart.
If this is not my home, where holds my weary heart?
Angels beckon me to Heaven’s open door,
And I can't feel at home in this world
Anymore.

This world is not my home, I’m just passing through;
My treasures and my hopes are placed beyond the blue.
Many friends and kin have gone on before,
And I can't feel at home in this world
Anymore.