1. MASTURBATIONAL BURNOUT

I can’t stop the urges
Blue pills to revive stumpy
Check out my google searches
My wank bank’s in the red
I just need to purge this
Fixation on masturbation
From my chamber I’m emerging
Behold my Kleenex Kingdom

Battling through shaft chafage and strained tendons
RSI is a burden in my life
My blistered bloody helmet
For years I've overwhelmed it

Because hardcore, softcore, there’s something you can not ignore
This fappening is happening to me

The WiFi's down, its before the watershed
The Matalan catalogue will have to do instead
I savor the challenge
In my quest I will scavenge for...

Anistons pokeys, Embarrassing Bodies
Rachel on Countdown, maybe even Vorders
Sexy newsreaders, milfy school teachers.
Lingerie mannequins, pics of Anne Boleyn
A slip of the tit on Strictly, I’m really not too picky
Milking stumpy is my victory

It's an endurance sport
Pounding floppy into dust
I'm an ejaculate drought
Milking myself bone dry
It's time for me to fap out