1.DEAR JEAN (I'm Nervous)

Dear Jean, Dear Jean
Can I appeal to your better nature?
I'm not the boy I was a week or two ago.
I lost my head halfway through your lecture,
I blew a fuse but how were you to know
Dear Jean
You should report this bizarre behaviour
Puff out your rosy reds, and blow me away
One little smile you could be my saviour
I'd be teacher's pet if you asked me to stay
Dear Jean
I nearly died when I first set eyes on your fulsome fig
Even your teeth are geometry, on your lobes I linger
Each night mother Moon sees me stealing by your ro
I can hear you breathing,
I close my eyes, there's a tingle in my thigh,
Are those fingers teasing
I'm nervous, he's nervous, I'm nervous, silly me.
He's nervous, I'm nervous, he's nervous, so tell me,
Dear Jean
Dear Jean
I'm amateur, but I know you can teach me,
I may be green, but I'm ready to learn.
And if you want me to surrender completely
Take off your mortar board and make me a man
Dear Jean
I can't believe, do my eyes deceive, is the door wide Open?
Here I go, standing on tippy toe, happy heart full of Hoping.
Oh but what can I do? I'm my own poor fool,
Now my dreams come crashing
As you share all the joys with my own head-boy
In a scene full of passion
I'm nervous, he's nervous, I'm nervous, what a fool.
He's nervous, I'm nervous, a nervous little fool.
Dear Jean, Dear Jean .. ......


2.BORDELLE NIGHT

There's a place I go, not far from New Mexico,
Where we party all night,
Soon as I came from the city, it was
Bar room brawls and lazy nights,
Why should I fight? When it's

CHORUS

Oh Oh, yes it's a Bordello Night
Oh Oh, yes it's a Bordello Night,
Burn the midnight oil, you're on foreign soil,
That somehow makes it alright.
It's a Bordello Night.

It's the kind of place where a month is just
Twenty eight lazy days,
To just whistle away, in this way.
"Come to the dance?" she asked -
The seven veils or a saraband -
And a mystery romance. When it's . . .

CHORUS


3.HONEYMOONERS

Honeymooners, she was a dying breed
Honeymooners, I married a female lead.
Palm court crooners Here more to her taste,
But I was a three time loser with an ordinary face.

Honeymooners, should have heard my mother's tales
When over dinner she insisted I eat snails
Honeymooners, when I caught the waiter's eye
Was then I noticed he was smiling at my wife.

CHORUS

But oh my how we could love, I was hand
and she was glove
The marriage was born in heaven
and we were in bed by seven
But oh my how we could love,
I was hand and she was glove
The marriage went into recession,
all through my pained expression
Honeymooners, she was after making fours
And the ski-instructor was caught between floors
I saw him thank her as she offered him a hand I
So how was he to know that she was into nylon pants.

CHORUS

But oh my how we could love,
I was hand and she was glove
The marriage was born in heaven
and we were in bed by seven.
But oh my how we could love,
I was hand and she was glove.
The marriage went into recession,
All through my pained expression.
Honeymooners I guess it's time to pack my bags,
Goodbye Hawaii, au revoir to all that,
Hello mother, please forgive what I did
But I'm off to find another wife who's into playing Bridge.

CHORUS

But oh my how we could love,
I was hand and she was glove,
She wanted a honeymooner,
but I was a "come to sooner''.
But


4.SHE'S GOT STYLE

There's been a lot of talk about you momma
About your shady, entertaining ways
How late at night, providing bedside drama
Is helping you to sleep more in the day.
Think of the shame, you'll never get to heaven
Although it's heaven here right by your side
Your little ways so devious and clever
Help me forget how much I love my wife.

CHORUS

She's got style, blowing me hot then cold.
She's got style, dress falling off her shoulder, like a Child,
Making me drop my guard as ooh, ooh, she closing the door
She's got style, she getting rich in sin,
She's got style, she gonna take us all, a certain smile,
Recling with Garbo's eyes as ooh, ooh,
Why she leaving me asking for more?

And as I leave there's one more in the doorway,
He hangs his coat as you relieve him of his hat,
So for an hour you'll swear to love him always (always)
While you're leaving me with my feet scraping the mat.

CHORUS

The' s got style, blowing me hot then cold
She's got style, dress falling off her shoulder like a Child,
Making me drop my guard as ooh, ooh, she closing the door
She's got style, she getting rich in sin,
She's got style, she gonna take us all, a certain smile,
Recling with Garbo's eyes as ooh, ooh, she's got style, etc


5.BAD FOR BUSINESS

One night on the tiles, that night when the boys and me
Went out and played around
I should have stayed home, but I left my old lady here
And headed for the town, for the town.

Laid my money down, hung around underground
Held our glasses high, had too much rye, my head and I.
It was so bad for business, so bad for business,
So bad for business I stayed,
It was so bad for business I stayed.
One knock on the door, who's this with a ring on her hand
I just don't understand.
I'm down on the ground, I guess that I paid the price
'cause I'm married twice round.
Two times around

Come now why make a fuss?
It'll all work out for the three of us
Please don't say we' re through,
There's enough of me for the two of you.
This is so bad for business, so bad for business
So bad for business I stayed,
This is so bad for business .. .
This is so bad for business . . .


6.YOUNG MEN GONE WEST

Around the singles bar, playing parlour games
Marriane plays kiss and run and waves her welcomes again.
She's way out after dark, painted for the part,
To steal some young man's week away and rob him of his
Heart.
To tease the lonelv brute with the dark blue tatoo
They choose the longer route up to his room
And leaning an the light, pursuing dirty nights
And eagle out on bail surveys his nails.

CHORUS

Young men gone west for a city roof
Young men gone west for their gin and vermouth
Young men gone west, it's young men for the boys
Leaving the next for their jewels and toys
Young men gone west from unhappy homes
Leading the way for the lonely ones.

Now Harry's lost weekend is trembling to a close,
He's drowned his dreams in nicotine and pawned his
Overcoat
He stumbles to the stairs, disturbs a love affair,
he shuffles as they stare and begs to be elsewhere
But can he claim a willing ear before they disappear
He's sure a lover's time worth a dime.

CHORUS

Young men gone west into kisses and crime
Seeing the stairway and wanting to, climb
Young men gone west for the rodeo, mistaking strangers
for people they know
Young men gone west, just wasting their days
Asking directions and losing their way.


7.I'VE BEEN SPUN

(No Lyrics available)


8.ONE AFTER TWO

It's one after two, still glued to the tube
And I'm missing you.
One night by the phone, two rings and you're gone
And I' m back here sleeping alone.

CHORUS

Why should I worry? All's well and it's fair.
I'm only a number, who cares?
What Flood's one after two?
It's one after two, is it afternoon?
I can't ask my room.
I' m happy here on my own, will someone please
Leave me alone?
I reach the doorway,
But the milkman's gone.

CHORUS

Why should I worry? All's well and it's fair.
I' m only a number, who cares?
What good's one after two?


9.THE RUNAROUND

I had words with Rudy down on the lot
He couldn't help me out, it seems he forgot
What my name was, he was one of my many shoulders
Growing cold
Nothing to cry on or rely on for a friend

CHORUS

They call me the runaroud, happily holding her hand
The best kept man in town, lead your lady around,
Runaround.
I recall when half the world held her breath
The letters of her name hung in mid-air
But I woke up to a nightmare, and she follows me around,
Running gauntlets, staring haunted at the ground.
CHORUS (repeat)
Hang around in Romanoff's to be seen,
Friends pass by like I've never been.
I remember party night, Halloween,
I was Tambourlaine and she was my queen
But the champagne and the wine stains and the friends
who waived goodby,
Only echo as the wind blows, through the chandelier.

CHORUS


10.THE MAN WHO ATE HIS CAR

Desperate Dan was a solitary man, a loner
He had a girl but I guess he'd just outgrown her
It's hard to dig but he made his big decision
Became the man who ate his car - Collision !!
They spread the news to every local station
Come see the guy who swallows cars, - Sensation !!

CHORUS

They said he couldn't digest it, but he just went ahead
And undressed it
Mechanic in a panic, oh what a state.
He ate his meal full of steel from a plate.
Munched his way into a million hearts as he ate the tyres
And the spare parts.
Some guys do anything to be seen, on the screen,
what a dream, its obscene.
Now it's clear that his career took a wrong turn,
The Golden Gate on a dinner date,
Heartburn, heartburn, heartburn
He's left the earth in a multi-berth Apollo
Venus and Mars, the rest of the stars to swallow.

CHORUS


11.MILLIONAIRE

Laying low, hiding out in Mexico
Talking to friends through the eye of a video.
Scared to loose, surrounded by fools, you're wanting lust To
Shout it out, but there's nothing left to talk about
Overhearing chance remarks, viewing movies in the dark,
And so your body stays alive but not your heart.
Losing all you are, to be a millionaire, a millionaire.

You remember how it used to be
Making you smile like a half-forgotten melody
Oh it made you laugh when people pushed for autographs,
But now it seems your yesterdays
Are pictures on a yellow page.
Now you've found your hideaway,
heavy shutters hide the day
You've got nothing left to lose except the night.
Oh yes you've earned the right to be a millionaire,
A millionaire.

CHORUS

'Cause you're a millionaire, you've got plenty to spare.
All the time in the world to go anywhere
If you lose it all would you really care?
Would it bruise you?
'Cause it's a masquerade in many ways,
It's like wearing shades on a cloudy day
You know it don't make the weather change,
But it fools you.
`Cause you're a millionaire, a millionaire.
And as the sand runs from the glass
And they whisper "gone at last" and the
Shadows come and go
But never pass
Oh bad times never last, when you're a millionaire,
A millionaire.

CHORUS