1. -----



2. Switchback

i made a choice that i regret
now what i see is what i get
it's too late to look back
i've got no way to switchback
it's too late to look back
ain't ok i've got no way to switchback
wait, how can it be too late
because i don't want to play
with such a price to pay
chained to what i can't reclaim
i'll never be the same
won't be the same again
a painful picture that i can't forget
now what i see is what i get


3. Stay With Me (Unlikely)

sick of this mind and the games it plays
mental enemies want to push me back again
here they come running wanting me up on that
tree crucified (wait a minute)
whatever words they say (me who said it)
whomever they betray (me who did it)
whenever they're awake it makes me die
there's so much on my mind-we're given so little
time--there's no way to hold on as it passes by--
so lead me into denial-help me forget for awhile
stay with me, please don't go-if you want to be
alone stay with me, please
i don't have much else to say (unlikely)
i'd rather you go away (unlikely)
i don't need something from you (unlikely)
though some say i will heal over time, it doesn't
seem too likely
it seems unlikely


4. The Last Firstborn

oh man, i can't believe that you did what they said
you did and to this day i've still gotta say that in
my mind i question it i wish i knew what you had
meant before you went and left me wondering to
just an echo of your voice 'listen...'
now i wait to take my turn to bleed like a kid playing
with a razorblade and wonder if i have the
balls at all or am i gonna be afraid where are
you? what do you think? cuz i'm not sure when
knocking at death's door if i will be welcome in
or be left alone outside
i hear the sound of a heart
from the shadow in the dark
waiting for the poison to hit its mark
(listen--my son) i see the darkness
surround the shape on the ground the
killer straight up and a body face
down (firstborn-last one) i hear the
din of the screams, sorrow in streams
the smell of farewell and gasoline
(listen--my son) i see a heart set free
and my legacy hear a voice from a
shadow that is beckoning me
(firstborn-last one)
i guess there comes a point when you
think to yourself "this isn't worth it, it
isn't worth it" and now i feel what you felt inside
brother and now i feel what you felt
this isn't worth it, it isn't worth it i
wish it didn't end this way live a life in
hell through a mortal shell asphyxiating
smell for a crime lifetime imagination
locked in a cell and to the other
firstborn, i see the same scene that
must play over in your mind and now
how much more i'm sure it's fucked with
your head just like it's fucked up mine.
"listen my son-firstborn last one"
the message you sent out to me-i can't
change what's meant to be


5. Under My Feet

So this is how it feels to suffer?
And I had too much to say
But it's over now
And I'm going down
Alone, alone

I've no guarantees
I'll recognize my disease
Before my time has gone
It's all I've found
Can't get the hell off the ground
Out from under my feet

Promises and wishes all mean nothing
When it's me that I'm speaking to
Wanting something
Won't mean I will see it through

I don't need to see these visions to remind me
That I'm dying from the inside out
Wanting you here
It still means I must do without

I can't criticize your reasons for living
When you're the one missing them
Wanting, dreaming
That I may find where they come from

Find where they come from
Where they come from

I dream you
And I want to
Be near you

I can't get up out from under my feet

I've tried to
But can't get it through
I need to
God is all I've found
Can't get the hell off the ground
Out from under my feet

So this is how it feels, you sucker
And you've had too much to say
But it's over now
You're finally going down
Alone, alone


6. I Believe You

This is my excuse to testify been a beaten down boy
and i don't know why that's alright, that's alright

Well the truth was a lie and i don't know
how it got me to follow and it's true that the lie that was
sold me will never let me go

What i needed you to
say was hidden far away
This is why i've had to justify,
my head is shaken, yeah but that's alright
What i needed to believe was hidden far from me
That's alright cuz i believe you

Take advantage of a malleable mind been a weakened sucker boy without
a spine that's alright, that's alright

Tell me that I've got to fight your fights, and now i'm a bleeding
boy without a life but that's alright, that's alright

Don't feel bad because i won't cry
I'll do your will
and not ask why,
but that's alright because i believe you


7. Frozen

Inside this fantasy
It seems so real to me
Synthetic ecstasy, when her legs are open
True Love behind a wall
Where men and angels fall
A fading memory, when my mind is frozen

I can see a frozen point in time
Where her figure still awaits
Tongue of fire tracing lips outline
Where frozen breath originates

With one motion of her waiting eyes
She strips everything away
This one moment is intensified
And colors all fade to grey

I am in the only place that i want to be
Though we know that it ends eventually
But it's alright because right now we're frozen

"I want to forget mistakes they've helped me make
It's better to be broken than to break"

Inside this fantasy
It seems so real to me
Synthetic ecstasy, when her legs are open
True Love behind a wall
Where men and angels fall
A fading memory, when my mind is frozen

I can see a frozen point in time
That is easy to retrace
Light and darkness are both intertwined
The elements are in their place with

One motion of her wanting mind
The real world begins to fade
And all the hateful things I have become
Temporarily go away

Inside this fantasy
It seems so real to me
Synthetic ecstasy, when her legs are open
True Love behind a wall
Where men and angels fall
A fading memory, when my mind is frozen

When my mind's frozen:

I'll take you anwhere you want to go
Far from anything that feels like home (lets go)
You are anyone I want to be (it's here and now, and now it's only you and me)

It's never enough (mmm that's true)
I want to stay here (yeah, and I do too)
Breakin' it down(takin' it down)
With smell(smell), touch(touch, taste(taste), sight(sight), and sound(sound)

How long will I be here without you near because I'm so cold
Break them first or I'll get broken is not what I was told, now I'm so cold
I'm so cold
So cold

Inside this fantasy
It seems so real to me
Synthetic ecstasy, when her legs are open
True Love behind a wall
Where men and angels fall
A fading memory, when my mind is frozen

Inside this fantasy
It seems so real to me
Synthetic ecstasy, when her legs are open
True Love behind a wall
Where men and angels fall
A fading memory, when my mind is frozen


8. Symbiont

"Control my tiniest motions
Withhold my simplest needs
I wish you weren't this close now
I wish you didn't succeed

Yeah, so what - it's another day
You're gonna take it from me anyway
I can't seem to remember now
What it was like to live life before you, symbiont

I want to go but I have to stay
I know you'd be there anyway
I need you and you need me
so much for bliss when I kiss this enemy
Mine
Were dancing on a thin line

Control my tiniest motions
Withhold my simplest needs
I wish I didn't need you now
I wish you didn't need me

Yeah, so what - it's another day
You're gonna take it from me anyway
I can't seem to remember now
What it was like to live life before you, symbiont

I want to go but I have to stay
It doesn't matter if I leave because you'd be there
anyway
I need you and you need me
so much for bliss when I kiss this enemy
Mine
Were dancing on a thin line

Eraseable - Expendable
Untraceable Unmendable

Eraseable - Expendable
I Wish I didnt need you now
And I Wish you didnt need me

I Wish I didnt need you now
And I Wish you didnt need me
Need You Now
You Need Me

Cause you hate me
and I hate you
but you need me
and I need you
I need you
Need you now"


9. Afraid This Time

build them up-high and strong
so you'll never have to hurt too long
put them up-til they surround
and there's no real you left to be found
hold it up-high above no fear of hope or trust
or love
close it up-and hold your ground and wait until
it's time to finally close it down
"even if you want--you can't hurt me now"
(this isn't easy to admit but i don't think i'm
believing it-i'm afraid this time)


10. Fadeaway

i'm not clear how it is i ended up here dej?
vu-think of you now so far, once so near
tangled in my own reflection--on the way down
--fadeaway
with my hands on my mind i hold wounds that
won't mend with my eyes opened wide i can see
it's the end... tangled in my imperfections--on
the way down
fadeaway
don't hate me now--they've torn away the
ground from under me right after they were
reassured that i believed normality is not a
word i understand at all i set myself up for the
fall withdrawing deep into the hole this
isolated little cell leaves me cold and faded
i'm my one and only friend
i am my worst enemy - i find new methods to
pretend that this is not reality
don't be lonely--now i'm your only... just stay
far away from me when i fadeaway from me
decline--more whine--deadline all mine.


11. -----



12. So Sorry To Say

so lost tell me how can it be i'm desperately
trying to understand why i will push you from
me so close but so far away i cannot see how
this happened to me i'm so sorry to say
so lost for so long i cannot tell how in my
mind and what moment in time i woke up in this
cell so close yet so far away i cannot see how
this happened to me i'm so sorry to say
i want you to go away from me
i want you so much to stay with me


13. Own Little World

Mutual sight, Mutual sound
Mutual struggle, for shared ground
It's safe, to say, they'll try to take from me
I'm just another one for them to break down

Steeped in denial, the daily grind
Dream of a world for me and my kind
It's safe in the alternative reality
So stick your standards where the sun doesn't shine

They're for themselves, it doesn't matter what they say
Promise the world then take it from you anyway
They'll break you down making your vision fadeaway
It's time to go: get outta my space

Welcome to a world where the air I breathe is mine
There's nothing to overwhelm me and nothing to cloud my mind
Be anyone, do anything I'd ever want to try
Time doesn't exist here, I will never die

Explain the reasons, Explain the rhymes
It's not required, inside our minds
It's safe to try, no need to justify
Or take their guilt trip at the end of the line.

They're for themselves, it doesn't matter what they say
Promise the world then take it from you anyway
They'll break you down making your vision fadeaway
It's time to go: get off of my case

Welcome to a world where the air I breathe is mine
There's nothing to overwhelm me and nothing to cloud my mind
Be anyone, do anything I'd ever want to try
Time doesn't exist here

Slip into a world where the air I breathe is mine
There's nothing to overwhelm me and nothing to cloud my mind
Come with me into it and you know what you will find
Time doesn't exist here, I will never die

(My Own Little World)

They're for themselves, it doesn't matter what they say
It's time to go: get out of my face

Welcome to a world where the air I breathe is mine
There's nothing to overwhelm me and nothing to cloud my mind
Be anyone, do anything I'd ever want to try
Time doesn't exist here

Slip into a world where the air I breathe is mine
There's nothing to overwhelm me and nothing to cloud my mind
Come with me into it and you know what you will find
Time doesn't exist here, we will never die

(Our Own Little World)


14. Unlikely (Stay With Me)



15. One Good Reason

made the mistake of opening my mouth
thought you'd understand but i guess
that thinking doesn't count act all
concerned--well, sucks for me man
can't wait to see where you will be
when it finally hits the fan
you tell me i shouldn't want to die
but can't give me one good reason
why
oh give it up and get out of my way
don't bother patronizing me just cuz
you've got nothing to say i've taken
what you've told me-i was ready to
apply "liars can't be trusted" man, but
you're the one who lied
one time my spine controlled by your
small mind so many reasons for what
you've justified (don't kill yourself)


16. The Stars Of Orion



17. -----



18. Welcome To The End

"welcome home" she said to me
"let's hide away before they see. i need
so much to be alone with you, i do"
"come with me" she took my hand
"please try to help me understand"
so pointless when my heart has
turned to stone, i know
"i wish we could" she whispered near
"go someplace far away from here."
while hoping that small voice would
disappear that said "welcome to the
end"