1. AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 TURDS

I cross the seas to far off Peru
To dine on exquisite Aztec poo
His chocolate plops are quite divine
Like Montezuma's anal grime

I would do anything for poo!
I would cross oceans
I would journey through darkest jungles
For it's sweet nutty taste

Meanwhile back in rural Japan
I devour the shit of a samurai man
Delicate notes of pure umami
Engulfs my tongue like a brown tsunami

Travelling the world, looking for poo
Exotic flavors, nothing else will do
In search of rare delights, steaming plates of gourmet shite
If I don't get my five a day, I think I'm gonna go insane

Kenyan turds are quite the treat
Us gourmands know what's good to eat
These Africans are savage chaps
But happily I devour their craps

Succulent nuggets of epicurean faeces tantalize my palate!

Travelling the world, looking for poo
Exotic flavors, nothing else will do
In search of rare delights, steaming plates of gourmet shite
If I don't get my five a day, I think I'm gonna go insane

I met a man of Prussian stock
His shit was black and hard as rock
This delicacy caused no fear
I washed his poo down with a dark beer

Travelling the world, looking for poo
Exotic flavors, nothing else will do
In search of rare delights, steaming plates of gourmet shite
If I don't get my five a day, I think I'm gonna go insane


2. KING OF POO

I am the king of poo!

All poos will bow to me
I am The Lord of the lavatory
Faeces is my loyal servant
Turds to me shall be observant

By my royal decree
A lake of shit and pee
Ancient bloodline of my crown
Kneel before the prince of brown

I am the king, the king of poo
Everyone does what I tell them to do
Jump into the toilet, devour a turd
Obey my word
For I am the king of poo

Chosen by the ancient gods
To lay down my regal logs
Commoners devour my shits
Smear it on their peasant tits

I am the king, the king of poo
Everyone does what I tell them to do
Jump into the toilet, devour a turd
Obey my word

For I am the king of poo!