Brojob : Talk Shit, Get Kissed (Album)

Тексты песен


1. TALK SHIT, GET KISSED

Show me your dick
You better pull it out quick
Don't make me show you these fists
Don't be a fucking bitch

You're nothing but a fucking coward
You say you think you’re tough
You came to spread your message
I came to spread your butt

You like to talk that shit
Yeah, you can choke on it
But it’s hard to talk with a mouth full of jizz

I should know
Yeah, I really should know
If there's one thing in life I’ve learned
It's how to take a load

You’re just a bitch

Clenched fists
Brass knuckles
Throw your punch
Deep inside me

You name the time
I’ll name the place
I’ll rearrange your face
Inside my rectum

You bring your crew
I'll bring my crew
An all out war
Over who finishes first

There is no turning back
This is a battleground
Bodies hit the floor
Soaked in sweat and semen

We’ll make you pay
For everything
I’ll take the pain
Sometimes I tuck in my dick

Everyone is dead
Everyone is limp


2. WE ARE THE BOYFRIEND STEALERS

Give me a hickey with your butthole

I've got no time to spare
It’s dick-o-clock somewhere

You know I hide inside the alleys
Hidden from the public that surrounds me
Where the air is putrid and the fog is thick
It’s where your boyfriend finally gave me the dick

You probably cry because he's never around
You check your phone but that bitch can't be found
I’m never gonna settle for anything less
He always blew his load all over my chest

I won’t change the way that I am
All I know is that I needed your man

These people worry that I can't hold my own
But they don't know that I can make your dad moan

I'm not a street rat no
I just like the feel of it
There's nothing wrong with a mouth full of dick
You're just a pussy
There's nothing wrong with me
It's not my fault that you can't handle where he tickles me

Just stick it in already
Don't make me beg for it
Wrap your balls around me
Shove them in my face

Don’t bring a knife to a cock fight
I don’t fuck with none of that shit
We’re gonna do this just right
You can find me in my favorite shade of lipstick

I'm not a street rat no
I just like the feel is all
There's nothing wrong with a mouth full of balls
You're just a pussy
There's nothing wrong with me
It’s not my fault that you can't handle where he fondles me

Life on the streets
The corner's where I'll be

Life on the streets
You’ll find me on my knees
Behind the Wendy's


3. PEN ISLAND (FT. BEN DUERR & DAN WATSON)

I wanna dip my balls into a bowl of milk
And glue cornflakes onto my my ass
I'm a cereal killer
And I eat my Booty-Os with extra ass

And while we're at it
I'll do things you've never dreamed of
Like ride a unicycle
Upside down while I suck that ding-a-ling

Now you know I love a man who can pitch a tent
So I'll let you bed your worries in the shadow of my consent

I'm ready for that fucking dick
I was born with a thirst for sticky liquid
You're nothing but a baby back bitch
Now come around back, I will show you where to stick that shit

I braided my hair just for you
Turn up the heat, let's make love stew
Okay, maybe this is a bit too much
So just kiss me on my balls, that'll be enough

My favourite band is Nickelsack
Take a look at this photograph, it's a picture of my ass
I am the one with the length and the girth
They've even named my dick Enterprise Earth

They call me the breadwinner
So butter my balls like biscuits

I'm about to go buck wild
On them tasty-ass booty cheeks
I've even received awards for having
The smallest dick of the week

I want to pour maple syrup down your ass like pancakes
If you think you're too tough for my flapjacks
I'll spank that ass with a flip flop
My toes always stick together 'cause I blow my load inside my socks

It's really hard to walk now, yeah, yeah, oh

Go

I wanna dip my balls into a bowl of milk
And glue cornflakes onto my my ass
I'm a cereal killer
And I eat my Booty-Os with extra ass

And while we're at it
I'll do things you've never dreamed of
Like ride a unicycle
Upside down while I suck that ding-a-ling


4. SAVE YOURSELF (FT. CONNOR REIBLING)

Words drop like icicles through my skin
Breaking away at my skeleton
And everyone has to pretend to be tough
Living through the life of hard knocks, they can't get enough

And since we've become numb to the indoctrination
We've become too aggressive with our expectations

Since when were we only meant to see the glass as half empty
When we'd rather see it half full?

Fuck you, pessimist
Fuck you, pessimist

Let down by the weight of everyone's judgment
You can feel it crushing down on your spirit

Painted in an optical illusion
We seek past the lifespan of our peers
Retribution guided retaliation
Met by a world of contempt, it draws out our fears

Lest we stand in opposition
Confronting the contaminated
Stung by the knife of our lies
Our wounds may be full but we still know that we will rise

People have their problems but they know that we will never be the one
To satisfy the hunger of the misguided feelings that some of them
Decide to vent onto the world for the rest of us to deal with
We will never be caught with that shit, no, we'll never be caught with that shit

I can't save you, only you can save yourself
I can't save you, only you can save yourself
I can't save you, only you can save yourself
I can't save you, only you can save yourself

Painted in an optical illusion
We seek past the lifespan of our peers
Retribution guided retaliation
Met by a world of contempt, it draws out our fears

Lest we stand in opposition
Confronting the contaminated
Stung by the knife of our lies
Our wounds may be full but we still know that we will rise


5. GOTH IS THE NEW BLACK (FT. BEN DUERR & DICKIE ALLEN)

I've got a black shirt, black nails and a black heart
I even have the newest pair of Tripp pants in my shopping cart
Black pants, black socks and black kicks
I bet you didn't know that Edgar Allan Poe is my side chick

My parents don't get me and my teachers are lame
Yeah, no one understands me, that's why I always complain
My life is black like my coffee and if you talk shit to me
I'll get your face and I'll scream "Rawr XD"

You think you're hardcore but you don't even smoke cigarettes
You think you're tough but just look at the way you dress
I don't wanna hear about it, so just drop it
I'll take you on a journey at your nearest Hot Topic

We'll buy you lots of emo band tees and some color for your hair
You'll get lots of attention, yeah, so many people will stare
Throw away all your stuff with color that you're not gonna miss
Now you can be just like the rest of us, a non-conformist

Goth is the new black

I talk about it everywhere I go
I sleep in a casket, that's where I scream and I moan
I'm pretty sure I'm a vampire
It's really all I desire

I'm not really one for attention but I will make a scene
I'd rather be alone, that's why I'm always at the mall with my fiends
We never go out in public
That's why we're always in public

Wait, that can't be right
What the fuck?

You think you're hardcore but you don't even smoke cigarettes
You think you're tough but just look at the way you dress
I don't wanna hear about it, so just drop it
I'll take you on a journey at your nearest Hot Topic

We'll buy you lots of emo band tees and some color for your hair
You'll get lots of attention, yeah, so many people will stare
Throw away all your stuff with color that you're not gonna miss
Now you can be just like the rest of us, a non-conformist


6. TICKLE WAR (FT. CJ MCMAHON & TYLER SHELTON)

We know why everyone hates balls
It's because they're caught in the middle of a war
The war between your dick and ass

We've grown to welcome dicks of every shape and size
There's no limit to the fun we can have in this war
The war between your dick and ass

Here's a fun little life hack
We can start a fire if we scissor each others nutsacks
After that, you can press your taint onto me
I'm gonna show you how to make your booty hole blink

It gets better and better, I find
If you swing your dick and spank your ass at the same time
I wanna use your balls as a trampoline
And bounce around until I drop to my knees

You will be mine
You will shove your whole face in my ass

They call me King Ding-a-ling
You'll get hypnotized by the way it swings
Dick so big, you can barely see my balls
You can find me shooting semen on your bedroom walls

The head of my cock is actually a fist
You never really know if you're about to get kissed
I'll use your nutsack as a punching bag
I can deepthroat anything and never gag

We know why everyone hates balls
It's because they're caught in the middle of a war
The war between your dick and ass

We've grown to welcome dicks of every shape and size
There's no limit to the fun we can have in this war
The war between your dick and ass

I don't need no jewelry but a pearl necklace will do
I'll give you hugs and kisses and a dinner for two
If you tease me anymore, I might have a heart attack
Make me wait any longer and I'll suck that dick from the back

If you tease me anymore I might have a heart attack
Make me wait any longer and I'll suck that dick from the back

I don't even sound like this guy
And if you try to say I'm Brojob one more time
I'll shoot the massive moose load in your eye

I know cock-fu and I'm not scared to finish
You're pissing me off with "You're Brojob, admit it"
Once you go moose, you're forever loose


7. BE MY VALENTINE (FT. DICKIE ALLEN)

You have the perfect heart-shaped ballsack
And I want you to smash it against my forehead
I'll grip your butt cheeks and motorboat your ass
And floss my teeth with your booty hole hairs

We'll have a romantic picnic
We can make shadow puppets with our dicks
I wanna use your cock as a snorkel
And swim in the sea of your ass

Quit wasting my time
I'll get on my knees and blow your fucking mind
Let's get married and run away
So I suck your dick each and every day

We're gonna blow dudes by the masses
And make them stare directly into our asses, asses

We are the Penetration Administration
We live our lives for the thrill
We are the Penetration Administration
I'm addicted to dick and I'm not gonna quit it

We are the Penetration Administration
We are the Penetration Administration

Wanna see a magic trick?
I'll make your nutsack disappear
Jam your balls into my eye sockets
So I can see our future children

It's no secret that I want to make you mine
Whisper gently into my ass
I'll rip your pants off at the drop of a dime
And eat that ass like I did with your dad

I want to diddle that dick, rose pedals fall
As your balls smack my chin, I can take a dick
Don't question it, strip me down, this lace gown and go to town
Spit in my ass on this Valentine's Day

I have a crush on every boy
I want to lick their taint
There is plenty of dick to go around
Spreaded ass, open mouth


8. ERECTION INJECTION (FT. BOB WILLIAMS)

Huge balls swinging underneath
My chin, smacking forcefully
This shows the world I'm a force to be reckoned with
There's not a single person who can handle this dick

Give me your all, I know I can take it
You call yourself a man but you can't even swallow it

Lets play a game
It's called "who's dick is in my mouth"
Hands up high, pants down low
I'll eat the booty like Cheerios

There are way too many people taking this shit
Way too seriously and are getting butthurt
Like, what the fuck man, chill out, it's just a joke
But seriously I really do want to suck your dick like so bad

So fucking deal with it, bitch

If you take your dick and shove it between your balls
It kinda looks like a hamburger, you really ought to try it

Spread your sack
I'm starting to feel the itch again
Stretch it out and hold it to a light
It kinda looks like a veiny roadmap, a roadmap to my mouth

I'm not someone you can fuck with
Yeah, the crew I hang with is sick of all of your shit
You're not a real man unless you know how to deepthroat
Someone's balls up your ass

Cross my dick and hope to die
Shoot your load and make me blind


9. TEENIE WEENIE (FT. HOWIE FAVICHIA & LUCAS MANN)

This is the sound of a thousand clapping asses

I find myself inside the restroom
The fear is setting in, I approach the wall of men
Each one emptying their members, I unzip my pants
And begin to sweat profusely

That's when it happened
The man next to me caught a peek at my dick, this is so embarrassing
This is why I should have chosen a stall
It' so hard to use a urinal with a dick this small

I just pissed on myself
Fuck

They say it's not the size of the boat
But it my case I'm barely afloat
It doesn't get much harder than this
No seriously, this is as hard as it gets

Some guys describe it as a Tic Tac
But there isn't a mini version of that

It's more like a grain of rice
Everybody stops because they have to look twice
It's sort of like a teeny tiny muffin
My dick looks like a second belly button

I'll look on the bright side of this
I'll never have to buy a single toothpick
Honestly, it's like it doesn't even exist
I can even keep my legs closed every time that I sit

Teeny weenie
I have the world's smallest cock
Teeny weenie
Sometimes I fill my pants with my socks


10. LET GO (FT. ANDREW PATTERSON)

I believe in your capabilities
And when your ghost becomes more than a figure of speech
I want you to know that I still believe in you
As you do for me, I never want to let you go

My surroundings are dissipating
And the world goes dark
Vitality, transparency
Indulges itself into my metaphysical self

I can't breathe, no, I can't sleep and all I feel is empty, emptiness
The sensation engulfs my entire state of being
Torn into pieces by this cavernous dread
And all I feel that's left is this dissonance

I remember telling you all of my hopes and dreams
And wanting you to be a part of my everything
Circumnavigating the darkest shades of my mind
I'd rather be alone than plague myself by leaving you behind

All I know now is that it's killing me
To fear the worst or "to be or not to be"
Assembling my stress to take it off my plate
Wait till we fall the re-coagulate, no, no, no, no, no, no

I've always wanted what I knew I couldn't have
Believe me when I tell you that it kills me that I'm supposed to just let go

I believe in your capabilities
And when your ghost becomes more than a figure of speech
I want you to know that I still believe in you
As you do for me, I never want to let you go

I remember telling you all of my hopes and dreams
And wanting you to be a part of my everything
Circumnavigating the darkest shades of my mind
I'd rather be alone than plague myself by leaving you behind


11. THE BIRDS AND THE BREES (FT. LUKE GRIFFIN & MIKE GREENWOOD)

Let's lock dick lips

Give it up for the world and how they taught sex-ed
I'm pretty sure you need a shield to keep protected
I always thought that making love was such a strange thing
Especially when you decorate your cock with a ring

I'm not too sure what it's for but I think that it's cool
I'm about to get butt naked and jack off into the pool
And when I'm done with that I'll probably shave off all my hair
And cover myself in mustard and throw myself down the stairs

I want to deepthroat your balls with my ass cheeks
While I bounce on your sack, we'll call it gymnasties
I'll make your nuts bounce like a pogo stick
Have you seen my ass? You know that shit is extra thick

Every motherfucker has something to say
Bitch, I'm like Burger King, "You can have it your way"

Tuck your balls back and squeeze them with your ass

Sometimes I wonder what it's like to be a car
Get leaded up on gasoline and hit my dick with a spark
Now let's do like a roller coaster and ride your life away
Despite the constant negative press covfefe

Let me tell you something about how to use a condom
Make sure you get it extra small
So it's wrapped around your cock
Tie it in a knot, then cut the tip of it off

If you don't have a condom, then you can use a sock
Or just put your dick into a mini-headlock
Remember, double penetration makes it way more safe
I'll suck every single person in the human race

Have you ever wondered what it's like inside a copper pipe?
'Cause if you stick your dick in
You can start to do what's called "the angry plumber"
It's basically a blowjob but without the Hummer

Give it up for the world and how they taught sex-ed
I'm pretty sure you need a shield to keep protected
I don't need no butterflies in my dumbass tummy
'Cause Brojob taught me how to do the unprotected dummy

Basically you swing your dick around like it's a sword
Until you lose all feeling in your cock and then get bored
Twist your nipples and slam your dick in the refrigerator door
Send them to the slobber house, bree


12. HATE IS A DISEASE

There is hope left inside you
And I'll kill my light just to see it alive in you

When the world feels like it's falling apart
I'll remember the beauty I found inside your heart
This feeling has been there from the start
From the start

When everything's numb
And my mind is frozen over
You're at the surface
Peering in like an angel above me

Don't lift a finger
I'll outstretch my arms and embrace all I can
I'll give you the world and everything I am
I'll break every fiber of me until I'm no longer a man

Can't you see what I see?
You're perfect in every way
I dream about you every night and day
You are a breath of life in this godforsaken place

Godforsaken place

You're never truly alive until you've fallen down
Peace is never real until you're safe and sound

I want to give you a life
I could never have
Even if it buries me, give me your pain
You never deserved it

Never deserved

When everything's numb
And my mind is frozen over
You're at the surface
Peering in like an angel above me

When everything's numb
And my mind is frozen over (Frozen over)
You're at the surface (You're at the surface)
Peering in like an angel above me

When everything's numb
And my mind is frozen over
You're at the surface
Peering in like an angel above me

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