1. PALINGENESIS

when the melody of birdsongs seems like an irritating chaos to the ears
when the warmth of sunlight feels like a torturing burning to the skin
when you'd rather scrape the smile off of the happy faces all around

and you realise that all you have been living was just a play of your mind
when you are eager to find something to be blamed for all the feeling that didn't remain the same

now you must draw a line
for what is gone is gone forever
give birth to new life
rise from the torn pieces of your former self

go wherever you want to
do whatever you like to
go wherever you want to
be whoever you like to be

you are a child drawing clouds with chalk on the pavement
choose the colours whichever you like to paint your own sky
you are never again a victim of the emotional enslavement
the taste of freedom will be the only reason for you to cry


2. UNREACHABLE GRATIFICATION

that fatal moment when I got mesmerised
by an unknown but so familiar scent
an intense thrill overwhelmed my body

then I saw it -
a weak little flower
unbelievably perfect
growing at the periphery
of someone else's garden

massive fences, barbed wire are the reminders
that for me there is no entry to the prohibited area

I used to go home at night, so that I can could come back tomorrow
I used to stand by the fence, staring at her - the goddess of my pleasure

now I cannot leave the station, being captive of temptation
that's unbearable and I imagine, I imagine going closer
touching the velvet petals, releasing the seduction
drowning to death in the sinful, in the sinful, sinful fragrance

a weak little flower, unbelievably perfect
growing at the periphery of someone else's garden

I must be losing common sense
the urge is getting stronger
leading to a despairing act
piercing my hand through the fence

the barbs gash my invading hand
injuring the intruder
I am bleeding in pain
stuck in the barricade of the forbidden land

now I cannot leave the station, being captive of temptation
that's unbearable and I imagine, I imagine going closer
touching the velvet petals, releasing the seduction
drowning to death in the sinful, in the sinful, sinful fragrance


3. TERMINAL RUMINATION OF A BROKEN SOUL

once upon a time
there was a fulfilled life
joy brought laughter and misery caused pain
when feelings meant being alive
there was a whole world to explore
I might have been the main character of a great adventure

it was stolen, I was kidnapped
the nightmare has begun
now I am being overwhelmed by a parasite
it took control of my body and my soul
foggy clouds covered all that I ever was before

blind sailor on a ruined wooden raft
fighting for survival with monstrous deadly waves
on boundless sea of nonexistence
what are the chances of winning this game?

inflamed wounds, concealed mind
with feelings gone there is nothing left behind
just some forsaken meaningless subsistence
incompatible with decent human existence

I am fading out
the last hope flew away
I am being eaten up
I became the prey

my body is giving up
just need to accept my fate
being mummified
inside a corpse with a familiar face

blind sailor on a ruined wooden raft
fighting for survival with monstrous deadly waves
on boundless sea of nonexistence
what are the chances of winning this game?

my presence is about to be history
thus my life was terminated


4. A WAY OF MIND

I've been told that wrongs define our being
and being what we are, we're bound to make them countless
and even if the path is clear and bright
we still get lost in the night

our deeds tie us, our minds warn us
about mistakes already made
the night is falling, for help I'm calling
but in the end, I'm all alone

mourned even plead, yet still mislead
regret is the only thing left
I'm here alone, I'm here alone

with head above it all, I declare my fall
with you in my mind I leave myself behind
with head above it all I declare this all
as a lesson towards the light
I walk the way of the mind

and by the time no one is around…
with our decided path comes a personal fall

things have never been so dull
I will forever hope that there is a place
where we belong

with head above it all, I declare my fall
with you in my mind I leave myself behind
with head above it all I declare this all
as a lesson towards the light
I walk the way of the mind


5. RAIN

still haunted by the ghosts and shadows long forgotten
I prey upon the voices of lost, sanity and comfort
rain shall diminish it all

time has stopped, I feel it now
moments of joy are far and gone
yet everything is written in stone
I won't forget no matter…

blinded by the images of blessing
I carry on the act and face that
no matter what I do, I can't live in the past
no matter what I do, this act won't (fucking) last

still haunted by the ghosts and shadows long forgotten
I prey upon the voices of lost, sanity and comfort
rain shall diminish it all

words have been set and I want to stand aside
realities blending and leading to demise

the flesh is weak, mind is even weaker
sadness of the moment is growing in me deeper
what I'm about to face won’t make me stronger
nor help me survive a little bit longer

long lost dreams have come back to present themselves as nightmares
long lost shadows appear to help me to take my final step

still haunted by the ghosts and shadows long forgotten
I prey upon the voices of lost, sanity and comfort
rain shall diminish it all


6. REALISATION STAGE

look, all the desolation
all the things seen, all the lives lived
you are here to learn, experience it all
this land you’re standing on, these steps you’re making
you will take it all with you, embrace it from afar

callow fantasies, secret desires
looking up, trying to reach the dreams of ambitions
flying away, disappearing in the distance
with years passing by

the naive belief of mindfulness
living fully, exploring the potential that was given
and sharing the wisdom that was hardly acquired…

grains of sand blown away
scattered all around, lost in the world in a familiar storm
breathe in and let yourself go
robust is the wind that will carry you on

callow fantasies, secret desires
looking up, trying to reach the dreams of ambitions
flying away, disappearing in the distance
with years passing by


7. THE LAST PIECE OF EDEN

the endless road stretching to the sky
the seamless stars bright enough so high

what has been done to the only one?
a piece of eden is gone…

wandering our whole lives
searching for the one that hides

walking on our own feet far
the voices of statues built are
a reminder of sin and despair
a reminder of a piece of eden

the emptiness of pure good
and the sadness of evil itself
we stood there so long
in the middle, gazing to stars...

wandering our whole lives
searching for the one that hides

for what today is worth
we destroyed the earth

mourning and grieving for death
regretting the curse that we fed
with hopes born of stars, so high, so far
chances reduced to none
the last piece of eden is gone


8. EXTIRPATION

I thought blood is a bond that cannot be cut
I thought trees have roots to resist all disasters

I am not wanted, I'm not trusted
am I useless? am I worthless?

the paradox of childhood closeness
transformed into mute distance
ignorance looking through me

shut the door, lock me out
live your selfish life

shut the door, lock me out
live your sad selfish miserable life
shade the window, lock yourself inside
your little box full of lies

I have tried all the possible and impossible
there is no path left I cannot get through

am I wanted? am I trusted?
I'm not useless, I'm not worthless

I know there is no room for me now
I know trees can't resist all disasters

shut the door, lock me out
live your sad selfish miserable life
shade the window, lock yourself inside
your little box full of lies


9. IN AETERNUM

has it really been so long ago?
at last I am breathing freely
my hands, my thoughts unbound
today should last for eternity

swept away I longed for
the tranquil breeze and warm touch
I conclude for the time being

wear your smile ever so pretty
it comes and goes
tighten the grasp as it slowly entwines you
this time you are sure it will fade

watching your life getting carried away once more
foretold, it will happen
and you wonder still, whether the stream
will ever cross your feet again

swept away I longed for
the tranquil breeze and warm touch
I conclude for the time being