1. DYSPHORIA

I am not complete the way I am
Sick of being trapped inside this
shell that doesn’t fit
I do not feel I'm how I need to be
The journey to comfort lies with me, the goal is out of reach

Cover pale skin with ink
Replace the flesh with something
worthwhile that I can bear
Force a needle through the flesh
Augment the features with metal bars and rings

Scalpels tear away the cartilage
Re-sculpted into something pleasing to my cold, dead eyes
The pain demands my attention
Distracts from the mental anguish
that plagues me

You try to decide who I am
You choose my life but it
doesn’t fit right with me
Not even I know my true self yet
But what you gave me feels alien
it's sickening to me

If I could tear myself down completely
And start rebuilding myself again
to my own design
I’d turn myself into who I need to be
This journey will take me to my grave


2. THE END OF ALL THINGS PERCEIVED

I feel the darkness closing in
Sights and sounds no longer reach me
Sensory deprivation
Is this for real or just inside my head

Memories play back constantly
I no longer have a voice with which to speak
The world's decaying, at least to me
Am I the only one that feels it anymore?

I embrace the silence
The blindness lets me clearly see
This can't be death
My thoughts are racing timelessly

The pain is dissipating
It leaves my scarred and damaged mind
No perception of the outside world
Is this the peace that death will bring?

Don't know if I'm alive or dead
Am I sleeping or have I lost myself
Cold mental walls feel so comforting
Incarceration never felt so good

Feels like it's been days now
Couldn't wake if I wanted to
Tranquility has found me
Within this prison I locked myself in

Has everything around me cold and dead?
Or is it me that's fading away? Fading…..