1. You Gotta Treat Em Like Shit

You Gotta Treat Em Like Shit!


2. PTSD is Gay

PTSD Is Gay


3. Some Mexicans Aren't Rapists

Roberto Gómez Bolaños as El Chavo.


4. I Like The Soldiers Who DON'T Get Captured

Twenty-Five Thousand
Limp wristed pansies.
Man up, pussies!
I Like The Soldiers Who DON'T Get Captured!


5. My Daughter is a Piece of Ass

Look at that kid!
Now, that's why Stern and I say
My daughter is a piece of ass.


6. Poor People are too Stupid to get a Loan from their Parents

Just Ask!
So Dumb!
Poor people are too stupid to get a loan from their parents.
Dummies!
Poor people are too stupid to just ask mom and dad.


7. There's My African-American!

There's my Homeboy!
There's my Main Man!
YO!
Did you see that
Latest Madea movie?
BOI!
Can I touch your hair?
Look at my African-American over here!


8. Blood Coming Out Of Her Wherever

Blood coming out of her wherever!


9. Mexican Judges Don't Count

It isn't fair!


10. Journalism Is Gay

Fancy MacBook.
Sissy glasses.
Decaf Latte.
Chiseled asses.
He thinks he's cool just cause he can read.
Cooper!


11. I'd Date My Daughter

If Ivanka weren't my daughter,
I'd be
Totally
Macking on that
Hot piece of Trumpiliciousness!


12. Grab Them By The Pussy

Grab Them!
By The pussy!
Grab Them!
See a pussy, grab a pussy!
Grab Them!
By The pussy!
Grab it!
Cool!


13. Take His Coat

Confiscate them!
NO COATS!
Throw 'em out into the cold!


14. Breastfeeding is Gay

You're disgusting!
You're disgusting!
I'm outta here!


15. Ted Nugent is Cool

Cool!


16. Dave Mustaine is Cool

Cool!


17. Trump Tower Has the Best Taco Bowls

Hey, Hispanics!
YO, Hispanics!
Love your culture.
You know what tho?
Trump Tower has the fucking
Best taco bowls on this earth!


18. Poll Watcher

Patrol the polls!
Watch the polls!
They're rigged, anyway!
Poll watcher.


19. Some Things Saddam Hussein Did Well

ou know what
He did well?
Killed terrorists.
He did that so good!
Didn't read their rights.
They didn't talk.
They were terrorists.
Over!
Iraq is Harvard for terrorism


20. Changing Diapers is Gay

Acting like the wife!


21. Build That Wall!

If you ask me very nicely
I might just allow you folks to
Build my wall and then pay for it.
Yeah, I'm just that kinda guy!


22. Alex Jones is Smart

They run
Uber!
They run
Health care!
All I know is what’s on the Internet.
Jewish Mafia!


23. I'm in Astonishingly Excellent Health

I feel wonderful!
So great!
So good !
I'm, like, really fantastic .
Big league!
Just The best.
I'm in astonishingly excellent health!


24. Stay In Your Pens!

Stay In your pens!
Write what I tell you!
You're all traitors for the JewSA!


25. 9/11 Was Inconvenient for Me, Personally

Thousands were cheering.
Arabs tailgating.
Yelling and dancing.
New Jersey?
Sad!


26. Make America Great Again

Make America great a-fucking-gain!


27. Nobody Respects Women More Than Me

I love the ladies!


28. Harriet Tubman Is, Like, A 3

Pure PC!
Total shit!
Do whats white!
A disgrace!
It's no good!
Hide that face!
Really?
Put Harriet Tubman's face on food stamps!


29. I Demand An Apology

All I've said and
All Ive done and
You've STILL not given thanks!


30. That Makes Me Smart

So Smart!