1. FATED TO DESPAIR

A sigh of stale air echoes
A cut down to the bone
Serrated blade digs deeper
As blood and trust flows
No good deeds gone unpunished
No saint left un-betrayed
The sun rises to another
Sleepless and unrelenting day

A familiar chorus plays
As a bridge burns again
More faith and hope mislain
A tired lesson learned again

Faith in god? Failed
Faith in self? Failed
Faith in others? Failed
Faith in salvation? A joke
Cries for help ignored
All outreach ignored
My emotions scorned
Message received: worthless

Waiting with bated breaths
For opportunity to knock
Silence, thick and viscous
Absence, tangible
Effort is unacknowledged
All given, none got
The sun sets on another
Empty and valueless day

No eyes weep for me
Seeing only what's to gain
Surprised despite the repetition
Half-healed wounds ripped open again

Faith in god? Failed
Faith in self? Failed
Faith in others? Failed
Faith in salvation? A joke
Cries for help ignored
All outreach ignored
My emotions scorned
Message received: worthless

All of life advances by design, cause and effect
So what's the reason for this?
Predetermined to fail
Destined to ache
Fated to despair

And in the end it's all for nothing, a lost cause
There's nothing to be gained except perdition
All efforts to improve only increase the pain

Each day I feel I'm moving farther from the goal
Things cannot and will not get any better
My muscles atrophy before the cancer spreads
And skin rots

The greatest lie ever told:
Lean on me when you're weak
Delusions hammered home
The end light seems so bleak

Faith in god? Failed
Faith in self? Failed
Faith in others? Failed
Faith in salvation? A joke
Cries for help ignored
All outreach ignored
My emotions scorned
Message received: worthless


2. DARK WATERS

These dark waters so clear
So defined in my mind
Pulling deeper within
Haunting and driving mad
Unwanted but still here
All attempts are futile
Ebbing never flowing
Gaining in strength whenever opposed

Compulsively resisting these waves
Ritually defying treachery
Fight it back or lose control
Cycling out into absurdity
Negatively reinforcing pain
Reluctantly steer further in

In faint whispers and screams
This obsession rules me
Avoid, compulse, cry out
My voice but not my words
Built up walls and blockades
Knocked down by the tide
Infection just festers
Can't cut it out or keep it in

Compulsively resisting these waves
Ritually defying treachery
Fight it back or lose control
Cycling out into absurdity
Negatively reinforcing pain
Reluctantly steer further in
To this place I do not know
Desperate to do anything
To find the shores of sanity

Ready to capsize and
Belong only to these waves
Blech

Hidden just below the surface
A flood of twisted urges
Constantly threatens to leak out
Unless consistently bailed
All of this weight creates such pressure
One of these days I'll snap
Without much left to hold onto
This current will surely sweep me away


3. UNITED IN EMNITY

Fear creeps through every inch of my body
Telling me without a doubt that something's not right
A liar, a falsehood, a trick, sleight of hand
I've been fooled before, won't be fooled again

Misinformation being spread like a plague
Breathed one mouth to another, poisoning the herd
With each new infection hysteria grows
Vigilant to the faintest hint of dissent

With defiant and unearned righteousness
I'll disarm your argument and frustrate you endlessly
There's no need to justify that which I know
I'll use any means to get to my end

Reject the unenlightened
Separate, block off, segregate, quarantine
Slow the rate, the loss of our values
Identify and amputate intolerable truth
Draw the blinds on blinding light
Manufactured relief, easy to believe
Beckon, lure in, and overcome with passion

In clever little phrases we'll conjure the end
Burying ourselves in a mountain of enmity
Too busy looking out for a way to ascend
To watch for the mine planted on the next step

Desperately searching for a truth to believe
One that is simple, easy to swallow

Disagreeing
And name calling
'Til there's nothing
But hatred left
Once close friends now
Named opponent
Loved ones happy
Now that you've bled

Push them down to quell their hate
Bring back silence that you crave
Grip tight to what's been gained
For fear of being mistaken

This hatred of conflicting information is likely of human design
But when is the thirst for self-confirming data finally quenched, satisfied?

Divided we stand to shout cross the aisle
Commanding control of the facts
In hopes of creating a better future for you
In the end it's united we'll fall

Misinformation being spread like a plague
Breathed one mouth to another, poisoning the herd
With each new infection hysteria grows
Vigilant to the faintest hint of dissent

In clever little phrases we'll conjure the end
Burying ourselves in a mountain of enmity
Too busy looking out for a way to ascend
To watch for the mine planted on the next step


4. INSURMOUNTABLE

Defeated, accepting it
Steeped in lethargy, inertia
Piling on the loss, and bleeding more
Nothing left to lose, when all is lost

This journey drags on forever

Methodically isolated
I'll remove myself from the herd
Stronger alone, no, but free
Free from judgement, free from limits

Freed to explore the bottom
To thoroughly search the depths
Surveying and scanning the lower bounds
Nowhere left to go but further down

Once more alone, this worn out drama plays out once again
A constant struggle across time searching for a direction
Disease ridden pests flock in numbers, hoping to spectate
As I climb this insurmountable obstacle

None to rely on but me
Abject waste that I am
Rage rushes in but flushes out
Hollow now, as the ache returns

Never pleased
Never comforted
Never letting it out

It's not worth it

Nothing can outweigh the pain of this failed existence
Achieving does not rid me of this infection of guilt and shame
Defiant to the end
Bound and gagged trying to come out alive

This pain fills
Me like a well
Boiling over
Threatening to spill

Facing a horrid climb
These chains drag in the dirt
Weighing down from birth
Involuntary gauntlet

I'd rather starve than to continue on living through this
Sick of trying to ascend while hopelessly burdened
Defiant to the end
Bound and gagged trying to come out alive

With facistic callous mandate
I'm driven to ascertain
The requirements for success
In the eyes of countless beholders

How I wish I could desert
This nonstop reckless pushing for a clean solution
There isn't one
Choosing to suffer rather than give in

This climb will lead to our deaths
We never will be truly happy 'til its over
And still we climb
Choosing to suffer and to persist rather than give in

Inch by inch I'll climb, searching for solace
Searching for a handhold, hands bound all along
This quest for peace is futile
Arbitrarily designed

How I wish I could desert
This nonstop reckless pushing for a clean solution
There isn't one
Choosing to suffer rather than give in

This climb will lead to our deaths
We never will be truly happy 'til its over
And still we climb
Choosing to suffer and to persist rather than give in

Once more alone, this worn out drama plays out once again
A constant struggle across time searching for a direction
Disease ridden pests flock in numbers, hoping to spectate
As I climb this insurmountable obstacle