1. WARD OF THE STATE

Neglected, abused, unspoken, recluse
Neglected, abused, unspoken, recluse

I'm a ward of the state mother fucker

Neglected, abused, unspoken, recluse
Neglected, abused, unspoken, recluse

Misunderstood and misread
I just want my own bed
The brain scans will have you lost inside my head

Where is help? Where is my guidance?
Where is someone who'll show me where the light is?
Where is help? Where is my guidance?
Where is someone who'll show me where the light is?

These walls are not my home
I've never felt so alone
These walls are not my home
I've never felt so alone

I've never felt so alone
I've never felt so alone

I'm a ward of the state
Ward of the state


2. NO. 2

We fell in monochrome chaos
Selfishness brought resentment
But I do miss our moment in which we fell in unison

Your name is scarred on my heart
But please know I always loved you from the start

I'm so sorry dear, I never meant for this
Awake and missing you
Perpetual rest come gracefully
But please just know that I'm so sorry

3am artificial junctures, instead of the astral plain
Fearing my grave in which my mind will lay

Painkillers are killing me, probably 'cause the pain is me
Tell me that you love me, even though you're lying through your teeth

You still had love to show, I still had blood to bleed
If you had so much love to show, why hold it to me?

You were my number one, I place you number two
My anxiety separated me from you
Cut it loose

My souls still shackled to you

You were my number one, you place me number two
I loved how when you let me down, you took everything too

Eye, visualise ruining a fucking home
How does it feel to be one with the second best?


3. GOLDEN FATE; WATER BREAK

You were my everything and you knew it
What did I do for this to be given?
No longer bound to this earth
No longer with me in remission

Here we go again, another loss, another false purpose
Here we go again, another metaphor for the absent

I slit my throat with the note that you left me
No home, just a tilt shift monstrosity
I slit my throat with the note that you left me
I'll see you again if God doesn't hate me

Reaper show me your ribcage
They say it keeps the heart safe
Extortion's void, I've seen you pray
To rid the pain of a lover maimed

Consumed by cinder, a malicious defeater
It torched our home, like the rope burn around my neck

Brought upon the ash of cosmetic loss
Came a scar from the mind to the bone
And I hope you know, I can't do this on my own

You were my everything and you knew it
What did I do for this to be given?
No longer bound to this earth
Not one last conversation

You knew this from the start
It would break all our hearts

You knew this from the start (it's too goddamn far)
It would break all of our hearts (break all our hearts)

I've got this hole in my chest, It's missing you I swear

Please come back home to me


4. SHINOBI NAKU

Sometimes I sit here and wonder if things were to be different
If I gave you more attention, if I wasn't so selfish
Could I really have been your lover?
Entwined to one another
Instead we've lost ourselves
Lost ourselves and lost each other

The thoughts in my head
A sickened feeling of regret
Lovesick from love
I'm lovesick from love

This feeling is something I'll never forget
Please forget me


5. #104

It's live alone and die
With my heart on the outside
It's live alone and die

The choice of caskets threw me and left an empty reject
Made from missing mothers
I am now a defect

It's live alone and die

Quarter life lived, I'm a shell with no inside
Crying out for help but yeah, you don't realise
Years of pain and torment have you looked in my eyes?
Jump the lonely queue, bones hard to find

Okay you say? You've lost reality this day (no progress)
When there's nothing left to pretend, I've found I'm in love with my depression

I pick myself up off the bathroom floor
Grit my fucking teeth, then put my head through the concrete wall
I pick myself up off the bathroom floor
Grit my fucking teeth, then put my head through the concrete wall

I'm sorry, it's lonely, spending your time with me

Time flies preincarnated
Theories of gauchais reactions
I've got nothing to hold me
Time flies preincarnated
Theories of gauchais reactions
I've got nothing to let go

Silence it's violence
To a man with no vices
I've got nothing to let go
Time flies preincarnated
Theories of gauchais reactions
I've got nothing to hold me

Let me go
Tilt and grow
Let me go
I'm about to let go

Tilt and grow
Let me go
Tilt and grow

I pick myself up off the bathroom floor
Grit my teeth look me up, I'm, #104

Maybe I should just you know...
Click back, barrel to the head?
Maybe wrap some wire around the neck? Suicide mosaic, make art with me
God without you I'm so lonely


6. PROMISE STAYS

No sleep, whilst the promise stays
Pale skin upon fragmented body
I extirpated what loved me
Knowingly, you were my melancholy
Sleep without you, isn't right to me
I want you inside my head
A fallacious ghost that I'll see when I'm dead
These words come in black and white
Reverberated and monochrome through my mind
Tailored to your broken light
Retribution for redemption
Not immune to lack of repentance
Not how I hoped to be
Fallacy they whisper in the ear of recluse
My own perspective endures from chemical abuse
The nostalgia with this is no friend to I
No martyr complex
Just the cycle of despair in your eyes


7. MONO

Can you say my name, for the wounds of yesterday?
Or should I say goodbye to the ocean in your eyes?
Can you say my name, for the wounds of yesterday?
Or should I say goodbye? Oh darling, one last time


8. FAILVRE

I am sorry
The alprazolam rejects me
Please just pick up the phone, things are not that ugly
We're alright, im okay
Translucency to reluctant faith
That everything wont be okay
But how long would it take for myself to suffocate?
A black hole prescription; an addiction
In hopes that things will get better
A black hole prescription; An addiction
Things are not getting any better
I'm sorry mother, I never ever wanted this
But now I so goddamn close to pulling a sid vicious
I sold my heart to the tables, let the alcohol win
I swear I never ever ever, meant for this
I should have grit my teeth, kept it together for the kid
But these oxys always got me spitting shit
You told me its with life, you learn to live
With your body exposed, perpetuate oblivion
And I know, it gets you off
With my hands around your throat
Perpetual failing, consistently bleeding
Over and over again
What does it mean this time?
Does it mean you actually love me?
Was it just a fix?
So you're not like me
So goddamn lonely


9. GOLDEN FATE; GUT ACHE

I should have been there and I know it
There is no way to transpose it
Another text, another swipe to the left
I should have been there and I know it
The warning signs were there
I should have cared

I never thought you would let go
Your perceived strength, was it all for show?

I know it was hard for you and when I gave up, you gave up too

My tunnel vision was vital
Leading you to desolation
And I wish I was there
All you wanted was resuscitation
Losing the self in constant oppression
My heart still mourns at the fault

Resent me

I know it was hard for you and when I gave up, you gave up too

If I could turn back time, I wouldn't have run away
I'm sorry


10. MY UNTOLD MEMOIR

Four men and still you were heavy
This was the one day I could never be ready
My brother, weeping in the distance
Our family, Im really going to miss this
I stared at your name engraved in the casket
This cant be real, this sadness I must mask it
They lowered you down, accompanied by a song
And every time I hear those chords it hurts for so long
Your friends bid farewell by dousing you with flowers
These few moments felt more like hours
Greeting these people whom I barely knew
One thing was missing and it was you
I love you


11. EPIPHOBIA

Why do I always feel alone?
How do I stop these haunting thoughts?
These violent sounds send me into shock
Where do I go? When will this stop?
My mind wants me to tie the knot


12. DEVON ST.

This house, my home, so fucking quiet
Death manifesting my thoughts
The breeze pushes on, moments lost
I stare at the glass, I see myself and see no other
These walls, their memories
Those holes, forget those holes
But this god shaped hole, found buried like the dark sigil within me
A broken mirror, distorted basket case
Our shielded skin is a thing of the past
Picture hooks where our photographs hung
Hook my soul from within I am the decayed son
To bare witness to this, a life succumb to this
Top to bottom, cardboard boxes
Webs on the letterbox
The only thing stopping my dangling feet is having "Take me away" by plot on repeat
I know I'm not the only one who's lost someone they love
If I can learn from this, then I will teach you this
Take all the time to reminisce
Grab someone you love, tell them that you love them and make sure that you mean it
'Cause you never know if that's gonna be the last time you'll ever see them again
I did that, I never got to fucking say goodbye
We are the dead generation
We're barely breathing and heavily grieving
You can count on us if you feel like you're lost
You haven't heard the last of us


13. IN A SENSE (BONUS TRACK)

Still sorry, all apologies shed from this body
Still nothing, please oh please just give me something

The forced burn of youth, like I'm destined to decay
There's nothing but discordance lingering inside my brain
It's tragic and bittersweet, in a sense, to defeat
The man made purpose, oh man I'm still fucking nothing

In a sense I say you're nothing to me
In a sense I scream you took him from me
You are the frayed thread I keep to confide
A constant reminder I survived patricide

Oh here I am again
Now here I am again

My wounds have been pulled from it's worth
Trust me I know how much it hurts
My wounds have been pulled from it's worth
Trust me I know how much it fucking hurts

In a sense I say you're nothing to me
In a sense I scream you took him from me
In a sense I say you're nothing to me
In a sense I say you're nothing to me

You're more then loving
You told me I'm nothing, fuck

In a sense

Still sorry, all apologies shed from this body
Still nothing, please oh please just give me something
Still sorry, still nothing
Still sorry, please oh please just give me something