1. A NEW BEGINNING

Enter a wintery wasteland
The sum of a lonely existence
The picturesque frozen plain
Of solitary continuance

A city of people
Who might as well be shards of ice
A metropolis
Juxtaposed astride a snowy tundra

I've longed for a new beginning
All I've ever wanted is to escape this
Frigid climate
That to perfection
Resembles my torn and tattered heart

I'll remain on this train
Until it takes me far away from
This enslavement my life has become

Like an invitation
Heavenly melodies grace my ears
As she voices the slightest whisper
In the distance

I turn and I meet her eyes
In a flash my life goes blank
In a world as cold as this
I still can not resist the thought
That she can be the one to change my heart
She can mend the wounds brought me here
But her presence has left me speechless
Not a single word can escape these lips
I am surrounded by bliss
And nothing can pull me away

I am lost in my reflection
Captive by my obsession
Now this moment should just
Stay here with me
For your love will always be
Here, safe, for eternity

I'm still stunned
As the train stops
I can't shake
This moment off
I watch her turn
And get off the train
I can see the glimmer of tears in her eyes

I finally come to my senses
Set foot
And exit the train just in time
"I've got to find her"
I think
As I frantically search the platform

She's nowhere to be found
I'm back in this wasteland
Alone
There's no one around me
How can this be?
Where did she go?

So alone
She must be lost in this desolate place like me
She is the light that will ignite my love
The key to set me free

I hear the shuddering sounds
Of suddenly shushed suffering
I see a slight blue glow
Against the grey backdrop through the window
As I approach the huddled figure in the street I speak:
"I have to say when I met your eyes"

"In a flash my life went blank
In a world as cold as this I still could not resist the thought
That you could be the one to change my heart"

"You can mend the wounds that brought me here
Now your presence has left me fearless
Not a single day longer will I wait
I have found my bliss
And nothing can pull me away"

"I was lost in my reflection
captive by my obsession
I wish this moment could just stay here with me
For our love will always be
Here, safe, for eternity"

Two souls entwined through eternity
By a love forever threaded
Transcending reality and
Defying all comprehension

"This love
Is far above us
It's divine
It's everything we are and more"

"I was lost in my reflection
captive by my obsession
I wish this moment could just stay here with me
A lifetime of memories,
And on through eternity"


2. STILL HEART

We are one
This breath of love swells my heart to bursting
I was nothing without you, and
Now I stand complete
Your beauty brings me to my knees
And with every moment I feel more unworthy
I feel that you could slip away
In the blink of an eye

And before it seems I've even blinked at all
Tragedy falls upon this love
I swear I knew it was coming
But why can't it be me? -Now breathing stops; I'm just choking-
Oh God, why can't it be me?

I could never make this choice on my own
Given a thousand years I'd never find the answer
This is not my place

But as the tendrils of my mind creep into my soul -And though I'd-
It's as if the very life-force in me -never wish for her to-
blackens in the mind's embrace -suffer here-
And as this darkness takes me,
I can feel my heart fade -I just can't let her-
Fade away and leave me for nothing

I have witnessed such beauty
And it's slipping away from me
Having caught a falling star
Which now crumbles through my fingers

The quality of life has decayed
A dreary monotone wasteland remains
I know what I must do
I must play God and give her mercy
I must end the suffering
She would do the same for me
I can't leave her here this way
But how can I go on
Living with a heart that's been stilled?

But as the tendrils of my mind creep into my soul -And though I-
It's as if the very life-force in me -never wished for her to -
blackens in the mind's embrace - suffer here-
And as this darkness takes me,
I can feel my heart fade -I have now let her-
Fade away and leave me for nothing


3. DESOLATE AND LOST

"The cold grip of death has taken her from me
I watched her color drain, as her life did flee

How this has come to pass, I can not comprehend
I can only blame myself, for my love's tragic end

In my misery I find myself in a subconscious state
It focuses me and frees me from this unending ache

In this setting I have come to the apotheosis of my zen
The idea that in death I can find her once again"


4. APOTHEOSIS

I fall fast like nightingales in winter's cold sharp grasp
The ground approaches faster with every struggle to lift your wings to fly again

But with every attempt comes failure
It natural
I can't pretend to think that all this effort will pay off anymore
I'm content with losing as long as this all finally just goes away

I've lost her
I stripped her life away with my own hands
I watched my world slip through the cracks
Alone, and I'm

Feeling conscious for the very first time
Now I'll pave the way into this corrupted mind
I'm going farther than I've ever tried
Now I've found a way to end this precious life

My heart is just a pulse away from bursting out through my chest
Cold fear shoots through my veins like shock waves,
My god this can't be happening
And now its too late,
I can't stop this anymore
Regret, regret, regret, regret!

"How the hell did I end up here?
I can't recall this place at all
Is this my imagination?
Or was that my dying breath?"

I'm lost here
I'll take my life away of my own free will
It has become so clear, as I'm

Feeling conscious for the very first time
Now I'll pave the way into this corrupted mind
I'm going farther than I've ever tried
Now I've found a way to end this precious life


5. IN THIS LIFE, AND THE NEXT...

"I stand atop a concrete peak
The summit of my life
As I look down my knees grow weak
I long end to end my strife

I've come this far, can not defect
For this thought has all my trust
In this life, and the next
Our love will bind us

Forever"


6. INTO INFERNUS

Descending from my mortal life
Falling to the depths
Of the abyss
Crashing down
From my existence

What is this nightmare?
So strange,
Intangible,
Yet so real
This must be the end of me

And at once
Everything comes to a stop
This place grows cold and silent
A stillness like I've never felt before
I can feel terror coming
A hanging dark presence looming

From the haze approaches a figure
A shadow, a void, a chasm of nothingness
As it draws nearer, shivers shoot through my soul
Encased in smoke
This demon trudges forth
With me in its gaze

"I am the lord of lies, a beast of illusion
The great deceiver
Now is your chance to rewind
to go back in time and
leave this all behind"

And what's this chance?
I've gone to the end of the earth
To find an answer

"You deserve to let her live,
But to be without her
And free from her memory"

This offer will leave me
Desolate and lost
It's the only way to bring her back again

"You'll have to destroy yourself"

Take pity on my soul
I can't live with this regret
Please make me forget this torment

"I will erase it all"

I can live again,
But without her
I will never be complete

I must let her go
I will accept a hopeless life
To know that she is alive

I know I'll lose myself
To know that she is safe
Will give me solace to go on

As I am ripped from this existence
Time is tearing to make this seam

My life now gone, not even
A memory
All that I have ever know
Has vanished before my eyes

And now I'm lost in my mind
Captivated by the state of bliss in my unconsciousness
I'm slipping from reality

I do not remember
What I was living for
I just can't seem to grasp
How I'm feeling

So incomplete and disconnected
My mind lays in ruins
Stripped of my salvation


7. SHADOW OF AN ENTITY

Pain
Is at the forefront of my mind
For but a simple moment's time
Although it seems to last forever

It will fade away with the wash of madness that fast approaches
My only fear is this:
Without the pain
What will
I become?
What will I become?

This instance of pain is my one and only memory
What brought me here to this moment in my history?
I know something happened
It's something immense
Strong enough to erase the pages of my life's story

When did I make the choices the led me here?
Where did I take the wrong turn?
Everything is wrong
I can feel it
I have become a miserable wretch

I'm left in a spiral of contempt
I hate what I've become
So I reach out to others, compelled to find compassion
Only receiving just a passing glance in judgement
This world around me; a mirror of my wretchedness

Yet there's one struggling glimmer of a thought
From within the deepest blackness
It claws at the edges of my sanity
Refusing to be sucked into oblivion

Within this vacuum in my mind
This tiny thought spins a tale of hope; a seed of possibility
I know it must be false but I can't relinquish it
It's giving me a sense that there's a purpose to this madness

It tells me:
"There is someone out there waiting for you to change everything"
An unrelenting notion that I must fight through this seemingly hopeless reality"

But is it just the needles and the glass,
A catalyst for full blown insanity?
Is this world a perpetual winter night,
Or will the sun one day rise on a precious summer solstice?

This hope is a plague on me
One last strand to hold onto
In the center of my being
I just want to let go of this thing
Release me from this reality
Unbind me
The fabric of my sanity is
Unwinding

Fragments of a prior existence
Float freely in the limbo of my consciousness
Not a single one contains substance
Just a ripple on the surface of a memory

Everything has been shattered to pieces
Separated by a void that I cannot comprehend
This purgatory is a fate worse than death
I exist as the shadow of an entity

The void has come to coalesce
Ruling over everything I am
That which is missing has left such an emptiness
That my existence has been rendered purely meaningless


8. A SEED OF HOPE

Shift the scope
To this portrait of her broken life
A mirror of his agony

Her spirit within is tainted with a hopeless sense of existence
Miserable, she prolongs this in catatonic attraction
This oppressive atmosphere destroys her will to live
She is lost and does not want to be found

"I'm a prisoner,
To living in this world
In captivity
I'm shackled to my soul
I am a slave
Bound to this cold dead self
In this mortal machine
I just want to be free
To die alone"

"And in the midst of
This desire of extinction
I am visited by a chimerical memory
And this radiance consumes me
So vivid, so real I can feel the warmth permeate my soul
A seed of hope implanted
Into my consciousness
As it grows and evolves it
Churns my contaminated mind
A flashback to a time that never was
A previous life where I felt complete
The light from this dream
Awakens my inner being"

"My heart spins into vertigo
Spiraling into ascension
I am now at the summit of my aspiration
It is finally clear that all my fear was imprisoning me
And now I've broken free"

"I was drowning in this sea of iniquity,
Poisoned by this toxic perception,
Now I bring the disease to the surface
And purge this misery
I float on this tranquil horizon
Enchanted by the tree of light that's flourished inside me
I stand mesmerized
By the ethereal shift of consciousness
A gift of enlightenment
I am so alive
Fulfilled in spectacular catharsis
I have become one the universe"


9. PORTRAIT OF A BROKEN LIFE

In this frame we find them both
Shattered and scattered in the wind
They each have found a seed of hope
Deep beneath their skin

They know not who they search for
Nor why their lives feel incomplete
Yet behind every single door
They long to find the one they seek


10. A GLIMPSE OF PERFECTION

Hopelessness and desperation
Have become my comfort
I find terror in the thought that
Change could end my suffering

I've been stripped of everything
There's nothing left of me here
Not even a memory
I've become content with this dreary wasteland
Afraid to seek out change
But this lingering hope won't leave me
It nags at the center of my being
It compels me to move, to search
To find someone here who completes me

Innocent
In my desperation
I
Seek another life
One I'm calling out to
With everything inside me
This is my last my hope
I wander aimlessly
Clinging to this incessant distant dream

Finally
I catch a glimpse of her
She's shining
Bathed in blue light
I can feel my soul igniting

I give chase
I long to look into her eyes
I know that everything I've lost
Within her gaze I'll find

But now I've lost her in the crowd
Desperation closes in on me
I can't lose her now
I've found the source of my hope
I can feel it in my heart
Having this ripped from me
Will tear me apart

I knew I should have left it
Well enough alone
This hope I've found has done nothing
But drag me deeper

Hopelessness and desperation
Have become my comfort
I find terror in the thought that
Change could end my suffering

All of the light that shines from within her
Won't stop calling to me
I must accept that this hope will never fade
Until the day I find her


11. LOVE FOREVER THREADED

Arch angel
The sigil of hope in this world
A single light in all of my darkness
I am down on my knees
I'm begging you please
Just bring her back to me

I'm at the end of my rope
I'd give everything and more just find her again
There's nothing left of me here
I'm taking the next train out of this wasteland
An attempt to escape this lonely existence

Turn the page in this tale of entwined souls
We find her here again
Just as lost as him
She's yearning and hoping and searching in vain
She rests her head in her hands and her elbows on a window pane

"It doesn't matter how many moons pass
The view is always the same when I look through this glass
This is an empty world
Devoid of all light
Hope has abandoned me
In this ever expanding blight"

"There's nothing left of me here
I am taking the next train out of this wasteland"

And everywhere I go
I feel this sense of purpose in my feet
Every step leads me closer to the source of this
Inflexible hope

I remain on the train until it's empty
Now the warning sign is flashing red: last stop
As the train pulls in I trudge to the exit
And step onto a dust covered platform

Empty
Abandoned
The station is bereft of all life
It could have been this way for centuries
I'm at the epicenter of a faded existence

It's like the world is taunting me
Haunting me
Nothing in my vision can be trusted as real
I am alone now
Desolate
Far beyond lost
And it's apparent that I will die as such

I sit in the middle of the station
My head in my hands
Too lost in sorrow to notice the faint sounds
Of delicate footsteps and subtle weeping

And everywhere I go
I feel this sense of purpose in my feet
Every step leads me closer to the source of this
Inflexible hope

Then like an invitation
Heavenly melodies grace my ears
As she voices the slightest whisper before me

I look up and I meet her eyes

In a flash my life goes blank
In a world as cold as this I still can not resist the thought
That she is just the one to change my heart
She can mend the wounds that brought me here
Now her presence has left me fearless
Not a single day longer will I wait
I have found my bliss and nothing can pull me away

And everywhere I go
I feel this sense of purpose in my feet
Every step leads me closer to the one who
Completes me

As we finally find love's true embrace
Our minds are pierced with a needle of clarity
The murk memories clear and the fragments are restored
We are finally complete


12. EVERYTHING BEAUTIFUL

Our stories flow through the air above
And ignite the living stars
The capering of loving doves
A decorative dance to reflect our hearts

My life was forever locked
But you were the key to set me free
A life without you is just a life of misery

I lost you once but love brought you back to me
(Cheated death)
Our love perfumes the midnight sky
(Defeated death)
I can see the vibrant glitter in your eyes
Fade away

Our love was a glowing furnace
Warm enough to sooth our hearts
And bright enough to humiliate the stars
The icy breath upon your lips
The one and final kiss
Before we start again

Our lives have now come to end
Until we are born again
Our souls will soar into the skies
I'll hold you close all through the night
My love

"Goodnight my love."