1. COLD AND ETERNAL

Frost covered panes, coat the world in mist
Reaching out to grasp the future just beyond my reach
Drowning in the fog of my clouded thoughts
Everything around me is destroyed
The cold arms of anguish, embrace me in the deathly arms
The lips of suicide kiss my forehead, telling me its time
Time to die again, and again, and again and again

Nothing survives in my world of shadow
Mere memories of the sun lighting me
Arriving to the end of a life as everything continues
Without me, the rest keep on surviving
Ignorant to the misery that stalks us all
Waiting to embrace us all, drag us down
To the hell that surrounds us on earth

Living on the other side of feeling
Watching the world continue to turn without me
They don’t care about me, the man they turned
Into the husk that remains, cascading tears
Turn to dust at my feet, blowing through the trees
Down into the grave, that I dug many times before
Deeper and deeper, to escape the world of pain that lurks above

Wandering through streets of no colour, grey to the horizon
Purposeless in direction, people on either side, faceless
I’ve become so numb, I don’t feel their touch
Become so tired, so much more aware of myself
The blood in my veins, burning like coals in a furnace of hatred
The skin, torn to expose what was once human beneath
Time to die, nevermore to feel, again, and again, and again

This death to me, cold and eternal


2. AND DUSK DID CRAWL OUT TO WITNESS THE SUICIDE OF THE SUN...

The sun sets, coating the world in a deep darkness
As tears fall down my face, to fade into nothingness in the earth
On my knees I pray, as I inhale the sweet scent of night
Crisp to the face, cold to the bone I stagger towards death
Fleeing from everything that hurt, and made me this way

Lost in the streets where once I dwelled,
Memories return, directing a new future for me to find
One where I will not feel my agonies, sheer darkness
Voices inside my head, companions till the end
I tried so hard, and got so far, but now it doesn’t matter

I lay by the side of rail-lines, feeling the earth turn beneath
Watching stars go by, lights about to die in the heavens
No God to accompany them, no force would condemn me to this
My life of endless torment, where pain is the constant
Now it is time to rest, time to leave it behind

As dusk crawls out to witness the suicide of the sun
So too will it witness mine, my retreat from life
I feel the end approaching, walking up the tracks
Cigarette butt in hand, I see the lights approaching
Like opening gates to heaven, they appear

I jump from life, and death


3. MOURNFUL CRIES PIERCE THE SILENCE, SERENADING THE COMING SUICIDE

Arriving, tortured into the world again
Laid in a hospital bed, tears for the life I still lead
Cursed to a state of purgatory in the ward of body and mind
Vague images before my eyes, fleeting memories
I want a blade, to pleasure the flesh with wounds and tears
To feel is to die, to die is to never feel again

Draped in anonymity, a patient on the ward of sorrow
Lying on a bed of despair, never rising
Why am I alive ? Why do I survive in this torment ?
I hear the voices, whispers and influences on my mind
Telling me I failed, but that there is still chance to die
To decrease into nothingness, to leave them behind

To live this life of suffering is to not live at all
Repeated molestation by injustices
This is not the meaning of my being
But I cannot find what is


4. ON BROKEN AND ROTTED DREAMS, SUICIDE TOOK FLIGHT

A lone night in my asylum, my mind
On an inpatient ward, trapped
A world of pain, where feelings burn like embers
Dying in a winters breeze
In solitude, forgotten by all, I reside
In corridors and dark corners, I reside
Suicidal thoughts, thoughts of leaving
Accompany me through my day alone

Bladed tongues lick the skin, pain leaves
Till the tool is taken from me by overseers
Then left to melancholic resignations of defeat
Alone again, in dusty corridors to dwell
Death desire, and lonely tears, no pill to take them
A lone night in my asylum, my mind
Isolated from the world outside my window
A danger to myself, inside or out, I will die

I toy with my razorblade, flirting with the skin
Teasing open the skin, to let lose my anger
Running down my arms, I feel it ebb to nothing
At night, broken and rotted dreams leave, suicide takes flight
Carrying me away to a darkness
Embraced like a lost friend, I follow it to nothing
But then I wake, holding only the empty air
Crying for what is lost, happiness and content

A lone night in my asylum, my mind
On an inpatient ward, trapped
A world of pain, where feelings burn like embers
Dying in a winters breeze
In solitude, forgotten by all, I reside
In corridors and dark corners, I reside
Suicidal thoughts, thoughts of leaving
Accompany me through my day alone

When I sleep, they return to me, voices telling me to let go and die
On broken and rotted dreams, suicide took flight
And I try to follow, but only to wake again, and repeat it all
To live, hate, die and repeat.


5. WANDERING THROUGH A NOCTURNAL SORROW

A v of black swans sweep through the horizons past my frost coated window pane
Cold is my soul, untold the forever present pain, leaving me alone inside
A bleak red August nights, leading me hope for the grave
Laid bare in my mind, a catacomb to my tomb, rotting rose in the rain
Sick and weak, dosed up on drugs, numb to the rest of my world

Fire scorched visions, death and destruction from my actions
Wandering through these catacombs of the grande danse macabre
My brothers and sisters of agony skulk along the walls
Wandering through this nocturnal sorrow, rotting rose in the rain
Drifting through this nether world of pains and despair

Doctors cling to my bloody arms, speak of recovery and relief
I believe nothing, devoid of trust and full of malevolence to my keeper
Darkness dwells where once I had life, a void sucking in my hopes
Time passes in my whitewashed cell, meaningless periods elapse
My isolated world turns on, day and night merge into one grand hell

A beast with seven heads and seven crowns lurks above me
A puppet to his strings, throwing me onwards, down to dark domain
Wandering through a nocturnal sorrow, towards realms I’ve never seen
Encompassed by the blanket of darkness, forever holding me
This netherworld, divorced from all others, where I reside, no fairytale


6. THIS IS WHERE IT ENDS...

Now it is time, for oblivion to flow in, like high tide
To carry me away into the deep black depths
The voice from within, calling me down
To where the corpses will lurk, in shallow ground
I am trapped by my reflection, telling all lies, revealing all

I am the reason to hate myself, my own mind
The blood in my veins, the beat of my heart, hatred
Forever haunted by my failures, my ideas, my mistakes
Never let go, remember them all, a presence in my head
Carry me away, please carry me away to the depths

My weakness, fear of what lurks beyond this reality
But my destiny is to die in anonymity, amongst the masses
By my own hand I must die, no others but mine, this is my fate
I will never be free from this asylum, so I must make my end
This is where it ends, I realise, this is where it ends

Entranced by moonlight
Lie back, wait for darkness
My screams draw them
This is where it ends


7. LIFE O' DESPICABLE LIFE

Once more into the masses, once more towards them
I want nothing to do with these shadows, but they are here
Released amongst the populace, deemed one of them
I still feel the thoughts of suicide, pressed in my mind
But I try to resist, try to cling to what this is

Once more towards the sunlight, blinding my eyes
Life O’ Despicable Life, why must you resist ?
I try to fight, and fight for you, but always you leave
And I fall back into the dirt I find myself calling home
And realise, we’re all better off dead

Once more into the masses, once more towards them
I want nothing to do with these shadows, but they are here
Released amongst the populace, deemed one of them
I still feel the thoughts of suicide, pressed in my mind
But I try to resist, try to cling to what this is

Once more wandering, trying to find where I belong
No avail, these streets are lonely for me, all the people nothing
I don’t recognise these places, though I’ve been here before
It is all just mist and fog, clouding my eyes to the lies
Life O’ Despicable Life, is this what you want for me?

Once more into the masses, once more towards them
I want nothing to do with these shadows, but they are here
Released amongst the populace, deemed one of them
I still feel the thoughts of suicide, pressed in my mind
But I try to resist, try to cling to what this is


8. NO GOD, NO SUN, NO FUTURE

This is where it all began, the frost covered panes
My world coated in mist, blanketing the sky
Wandering through it all, unbeknownst to the people
I feel the end approaching, though I wish to stay

Dusk crawling out, to witness my life unfold
Pieces come together, creating a picture of woe
My self-extinction, horrors blinding the beauty
Faith lost to my being, no longer my own

Falling into myself, bid my body farewell
Voices drowning out the my thoughts
No God, No Sun, No Future, it’s all here
Climbing higher, beyond mortal pain

Hidden in plain sight, the tortured soul
Crying out for help, tears frozen to the wind
Bleak coated world, devoid of colour, nowhere
I am still here, but for how long, I know not

No God, No Sun, No Future, where it all began
The embrace of death, cold and comforting
Her arms embraced me, inviting me in
But I never was to follow, fortunes changed

This is where it all began, the frost covered panes
My world coated in mist, blanketing the sky
Wandering through it all, unbeknownst to the people
I feel the end approaching, though I wish to stay