1. LEGACY

(no lyrics available)


2. WE NEVER SHOOK ON IT

Why can't you just be here now?
You had better plans, I guess.
To blaze your little path of least resistance.
I hope you've found what you were searching for.
I hope it was worth it.
I have become a martyr, preaching to the recently deceased.
I choose to exist in fear because I believe its greater to live a nightmare than not at all.
Free will is what makes this real.
Life is not just a script.
I'd rather feel the sand get kicked into my face.
I'd rather have my heart broken into a thousand shards.
Just to experience.
Just to emote.
Is this the only way?
Is this all?
You're not fixing anything.
I can never prove if there really is such a place as hell.
But I know where ever you are now isn't any more opportune than here.
Can't you see that when you are gone there is no turning back?
There are no second chances when you're underground.
You are only absconding the few beings here that love you.
Death is just punishment to those who live.
Because we're the ones who have to mourn you.
We're all brought here for a reason.
I think thats the deal.
But we never shook on it.
So you took the easy way out


3. MARTIAL LAW ON PANGEA

This life is strung to an abacus.
Without balance we will surely fail.
On the giant island everything is miracle or massacre. There is no grey area for us to occupy.
And I am finished waiting for it.
All this life I am searching for a balance.
I am searching for my one purpose down here.
I may not find it.
I may just split apart into pieces never to reconnect again.
I have become this pendulum, swinging back and forth.
I can't decide what to believe.
I can't see.
I can't breathe.
This is the end.
This is what I've waited for so long to witness.
Here they come with tanks and rifles to take me away.
I have found the stolen city walls that separate us from our dirty flaws.
Goodnight.
For this I am laid to rest.
There are somethings we were not intended to know.
But I had to keep searching. It was my purpose.
It was my fate.


4. HYPOCHONDRIA VS. HYPOTHERMIA

You've frozen over.
You can't see through the wall of ice dividing us.
Strive to be blind.
Don't be distracted by my face, my clothes and my religion.
We are living under a black overcast of racism and hate. How did we get so lost?
How did we get so jaded?
You think this world is so diverse.
You think that people wake up grateful everyday to share the neighborhood with different races and different creed? Well think again.
People are killing each other over minutia.
Black or white.
Gay or straight.
We have to fight for our lives.
We have to exist together or we may not survive at all.
I am always afraid.
I am always sick.
I have become a hypochondriac.
All I can do is write this down and maybe someday things will change.
But maybe they never will.


5. CLOSED AND LOCKED

I pray there still hope for me to come to terms with everything that happened to me when i was young and helpless.
The things you did to me made my skin crawl.
The retrospect is a nightmare.
Not a day goes by that I don't feel the guilt and shame. How could I have been so foolish?
I promised myself i would forget it all.
The pain and discomfort were buried years ago.
Closed and locked is the door to my past.
Then why do your hands still haunt me?
Why am i stained forever from your filthy wrath?
I hope there really is such a thing as karma.
I hope you get what you deserve in the end.
Oh, how i would watch someone do to you what you did to me.
I wouldn't look away.
I wouldn't blink. Animals like you belong in cages.
Just like the one that you kept me in.
Never again.
I wrote this for you.
To show you I have become the walls of my own castle.
In solitude.
In solitude.
I put these gates up to keep you out but the truth is that you're gone.
Now the only thing these gates keep away is people that I love.
I have forgotten how to trust.
I will never be the same


6. MOTIVE ASSESSMENT

This morning I woke up in a jail cell.
Next to an aluminum toilet and a pile of insecurities.
I've never felt so small.
I just thought that we were past this. Staring through the bars, sleeping on cinderblocks.
My greatest fear is that I will never change.
That I have become a criminal.
Can you expel the urges?
Can you let go for once?
I ask myself these same questions over and over again.
But I never know the answers.
Even upon release I am held captive by my own thoughts and feelings.
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Its never ending.
When will I regain enough strength to control my own defects?
Can you expel these urges?
Can you make me okay?
No.
No one can.
Now i finally see.
Serenity where are you now?
Help me accept the things I cannot change.
Give me the courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
I refuse to be like this forever.
I refuse to be me.
I want to be someone else.
I want control.
Teach me to turn my will over and surrender.
There will always be prison bars.
Sometimes real and sometimes in figment.
I cannot always tell if they are locking me in or if they are locking me out.
Why do I do this to myself?


7. DYSLEXIC IN MY DREAMS

You will never know how many times over I thought about what we had and where it went.
Part of me wonders was it really all my fault.
But the other half just knows.
I have become a failure.
Everything is ripping at the seems and igniting behind me. Dyslexic even in my dreams.
But I'm trying.
The night is still young.
You were the best hostage I ever had.
But I want my ransom.
I want something to show for myself after all the years. So far I have nothing.
Fears will control my life forever if I let them.
I have always been afraid of myself.
My commitments and my endeavors have never seen the light of day because of this.
I have become a failure.
Everything is ripping at the seems and igniting behind me. Dyslexic even in my dreams.
Everything is backwards.
Everything is wrong.
But I'm trying.
The night is still young.
This is a vicious cycle that only I can reverse.
I have become a failure.
Everything is backwards.
Everything is wrong.


8. WITH SAPPHIRE SKIES BENEATH US

(no lyrics available)


9. DESPERATE REFLECTIONS

I have become a predator.
My prey awaits me in the reflection of a mirror.
When will this curse be lifted? When will this spell be broken?
I must seek redemption from this prison cell.
But only i can remove these iron bars, as only i have placed them.
These chains around around my limbs bind me from only the truth that I refuse to know.
Oh, how it stings, but still i test it.
I will flee when the pain becomes unbearable.
We're just not there yet.
This agony is insufficient.
Its not enough I've lost it all.
I've been reduced to things I swore I'd never do.
I have become a predator.
My prey awaits me in the reflection of a mirror.
When will this curse be lifted? When will this spell be broken?
I must seek redemption from this prison cell.
The walls are closing in.
Dear God, set me free.
Oh, how it stings, but still I wait.
I will flee when the pain becomes unbearable.
Take a hammer to these chains because I never will.
Remove this poison from my veins.
I beg you.


10. HOUSE OF CARDS

Now you can't see the forest through all the trees we planted over the years.
If I have to I will suffocate myself just to feel alive. I'll never win, but at least I can say I tried.
Is this the way we had imagined things all those years ago? When we were young and pure things were different.
We had a dream. What happened? Life. Human nature. Instinct.
Survival.
We will never find a cure for hopelessness.
We will never cease to be the animals that we are.
Cycles repeat.
And this one seems to be nothing short of a paradox.
We've built this structure on a foundation of bloodshed and war.
Just the same tessellating patterns year after year.
The heartbeats become breathtaking.
A warmers winters breaking.
And summer bleeds into september.
As these seasons turn, I watch you in the brimstone.
I have become the overseer.
But I will not be there to watch your house of cards collapse upon you.
Now you can't see the forest through all the trees we planted over the years.
If I have to I will suffocate myself just to feel alive. I'll never win, but at least I can say I tried


11. IF GIVEN THE CHANCE

You can't stop me now.
You cannot stand in my way.
As if the resistance is not strong enough.
The static is getting louder.
I see the signs.
Okay I get it.
We're out of fuel and we're out of money.
But we can't turn back.
Maybe I'll starve. Maybe I'll freeze.
But we can't turn back.
We can't stop now after all we've been through.
This may be my only calling.
But I am haunted by shadows of doubt.
This uphill battle is still not leveling.
I have become a nomad.
Stranger in every town, even my own.
This is what always happens.
The persona will take over.
The persona will become you.
Maybe I'll starve.
Maybe I'll freeze.
well so be it.
If given the chance, I would drive forever.
If given the chance, I would never come home.


12. THE PRODUCT OF BETRAYAL

There was a time we fought on the same side for what we believed in, remember?
When you dug that dagger in my back, you crossed a line.
A line we all forgot was there.
My blood, my sweat, went into everything we shared.
Years of abstinence and nonviolent resistance.
Could it all really come to an end tonight?
As I turn the tables now, I never felt so alive before. The energy somehow is beckoning my hideous inside.
Could it all really come to an end tonight?
The look in your eyes as they meet mine.
My anger overwhelms me.
My hands are shaking.
I know that I should walk away, but I can't.
This is revenge.
This is the product of betrayal.
I can't believe what I've done.
My heart is beating out of my chest.
What an unfortunate way to end things.
You shattered all of my trust.
Everything. But that was then, and this is now.
You can't escape this.
You can't get away.
As I turn the tables now, I never felt so alive before.
The energy somehow is beckoning my hideous inside.
Could it all really come to an end tonight?
Your blood, your sweat.
Shamefully dripping from my fingertips.
I never thought that I would reach this point.
Now I have become the enemy