Band's List Black Metal Leucosis Leucosis

To give something a score of less than five suggest that it is abysmal, the absolute nadir of music, something that can only be reached by the likes of Blood on the Dance Floor and Black Veil Brides. For me to rate an album tagged as Black Metal less than five suggests that something is really amiss, that something is completely wrong for it to be rendered excruciating to listen to. And let me tell you dear readers that Leucosis is the most FUCKING BORING album I've ever listened to.

From what I can tell, Leucosis is a mixture of doom, sludge and black metal (questionable) with a bit of post rock influences as well. Although this is usually a decent enough mixture, the way Leucosis pulls it off isn't, it's really fucking boring. They don't do anything for the entire SIXTY MINUTES (!!!!!!!!) that this album drags on for, they don't do anything at all. Everything just drones on without leaving any kind of effect, for most of the duration Leucosis seem content to engage in some really stale droning instrumentation that I suppose is their idea of “atmosphere.” Even the harsher parts are completely boring, they're devoid of energy and anything that grabs my attention. There's a moderately interesting section in the second track Calcinate, it's a got a pretty decent melody that could have worked if not for the rest of the song being the musical equivalent of a sleeping pill.

One of the major gripes I have with this album is the god awful production, the drums are way too loud, the vocals are way too loud and the guitars are way too quiet. It isn't helped by the fact that the drums have the worst sound I have ever heard on a metal album, it sounds like the motor of some old, banged up army vehicle or something. It's a complete piss take and makes me hate this album a great deal more. Even if the guitars were any louder, I'd still be bored stiff because with the exception of that section in Calcinate they don't do anything interesting at all. There's no stand out riffs because everything just drones on languidly achieving no semblance of atmosphere or enjoyment. When an album does absolutely nothing for the entire duration it really is hard to find anything worth something.

Although this album and the band in general are often cited as “Black Metal”, there's very little to do with the genre with the exception of the vocals which are clearly a Black Metal rasp. The music is more in line with droning sludge/doom metal bands, with the exception that it's 1000x more boring. Leucosis clearly have no idea on how to create real and authentic Black Metal and so resort to playing the most mind numbingly boring sludge I've ever listened to.

From what I can tell, I suppose Leucosis tried to create some atmospheric and interesting sludgy black metal but the band just can't seem to pull it off. Look guys, I love atmospheric music but there's no excuse for how completely fucking still this music is, really there's nothing here that captivates me in any way and there's nothing that creates an atmosphere. Calling this boring is a compliment, this is completely lifeless, still, banal and above all it's simply nothing. Leucosis is so bland it goes far beyond the reach of being boring to being nothing at all. Whatever this is supposed to be I'm really not getting it, never been so bored in my life guys.