right so as my intro on my console board says i enjoy writing gothic stories whenever i get the time. my first creation was this poem (it has no rhyme or rhytmn but apperently its still a poem). this was inspired by the lyrics of Cradle Of Filth - a gothic romance. if you like it i can either post the actual stories chapter by chapter or i can send them to you.
 
Dance of Eternity (A love forged in Blood)

In this necropolis, misted and shrouded
Full of Cold Stone and hearts, all ice filled.
Built by the Blood and sweat of many, this
Dwelling holds many secrets, more than
mere mortals could ever know.
It is here that my story, the secret i hold, unravels.

On a Cold, Bleak mid-winter night
When a Dusk filled sky enframed the
light of the full, virgin-white moon.
Awakening from Slumber to the
sound of a most Unholy of wails

like Wolf afrer Prey
i enter a room where in which i find
a Horror Of Horrors, my wife doth hang
by her silky white neck in a noose wrought
with the very sheets we had loved on
all those days ago

Satan had claimed her,
for Beneath lay the symbol of Abbadon
laid Out in Blood, so warm and sacred, from her wrists
still flowing.

Darkness and Shadow claimed me from that day onwards
as i resolved myself to the solution of joining my love
in the very Hell we had made for each other.

my mind forever shrouded in thick Misery
akin to the smog covering the city, took me to
places and Ideas best unknown, to the arms of my
lover no more.

so taking myself Down the path unto Hades
so i could begin the long crossing of the Styx,
that would carry me to her.
reaching my destination, my Heart being my rock,
i ventured forth towards the bridge that would be
the last piece of Earth under Heaven for me.

stepping to the ledge, my reasoning driving me forth
i prepared to leap into the abyssal Nightmare that
would claim me for all time.

people stop and stare but
they will never know of my
Misery and sorrow that has been Feeding
parasitically on my once white soul.

i hear a call, i turn about prepared to stifle
the attempts that the "pure" children of GOD
have of stopping me.
as my eyes fix on theirs, i see before me
a girl of the night, the Mistress of seduction

she offers her hand, calling me Down
to just spare a moment for her Lust and desire.
With all of my Blackness and no hope of saviour
giving into this moment of Sin, surrendering myself to
her body, my soul Beyond saving.

she lured me away from the watery grave
to which i craved for still
Down a back street we went, mist covering our trail
when eventually she stopped, i caught her in my arms
yet for all this Blackness in my mind,
my eyes could not be decived of the beauty in front of me
(yet there will be no saviour for me)

togther we clung, Cold Stone at our backs
dancing the dance only lovers can Master
a harlot and a widower of all hope
under the light of the Moonlight and
the cover of the fog, we held each other for
what seemed Eternity

the temptress retreated, demanding her pay
to which i could not yield
she remained silent for a while until
in a flurry of movement she was by my side
this innocent girl, all silk and soft skin
had changed into a Demon of feline allure
yet retained the image of the siren
only moments before, i had loved for a breif moment

"thou dreams and desires a world full of Pain,suffering.
an Angel of death appears, dressed in black satin.
except no fear is pouring from you, yet human you still are"

for a breif moment our eyes wandered over each other
my eyes met hers, bloodred as her lips, demanding for the
flood of crimson in my veins to be spilt

yet hesitation took her and now I could see that
cupid had struck us with his arrow,
the darkness of our souls
mattered not to him, for we were meant to be.

"venture forth into my arms" the femme fatale crooned
in my ear, the words hitting me with their soft caress.

the arms around me held me close
I felt her warm sweet smelling
breath, misting on my neck
due to frosty darkness cloakng us
then, sharp pain and blackness

spreading white hot venom from my lover's
last soft caress, the blackness came to me

sweeping nightmares with demon riders
hunting, claiming, lusting after my soul.
oh alluring succubus, what has thou done to me
my body craves its end,
the severing of the finals strings oflife

awkening, a new being, new feelings and a new start.
With a thirst that could no mortal drink could quench
i found myself in my sweet lovers hold

together we wandered through the city
preying on all those we deemed unworthy of
the life they had wasted intentionally.

demons they say are evil things not capable
of love, yet that is was what we had
a love for each other, nosferatu we be
forever togther, our twilight shared
dancing this eternal dance

---

I'm coming to Kill you, won't leave until you die.
Murder born of Vengeance

lol nobody has read yet?

---

I'm coming to Kill you, won't leave until you die.
Murder born of Vengeance

its quite long

Ill have to read it when I have some more time off, like in a few days....

---

8% of teens have moved
onto rock. If you are Part of the 8% that
still rock out every day, but want to pornogrind, copy and
paste this into your signature !

Check out the pornogoredgrindz!!!
prtylvr

ye thats the only prob with it, the length

and the chapters of the story are quite long also so i might have to post them in chunks if i get good feedback from this first piece.

---

I'm coming to Kill you, won't leave until you die.
Murder born of Vengeance

I like the story and the archaic style you've used. There's some wonderful use of language and imagery there. There was only one tiny thing I didn't like, and that was when you said,
"people stop and stare".
This cliché momentarily shattered the eerie atmosphere as well as standing Out from the rest of the language used in a Negative sense. I think if you rearrange that line you'll have the beginning of a wonderful epic.

cool thanks for that, ive been thiking of showing my work to an english teacher at my school and seeing what they think of it, when i dont even do english as a subject lol. only prob is english teachers at my school are generally Lazy and can nvr be assed to do anything.
at some point il post the first chunk of the first chapter of the actual story behind that "poem"

---

I'm coming to Kill you, won't leave until you die.
Murder born of Vengeance

My English teacher is an idiot. He sometimes uses words and terminology he doesn't understand in a feeble attempt to sound intellectual.

lol ok well heres the first part of the first chapter, basically it is exactly the same story line as above but in a lot more detail.

Chapter 1:

Gabriel

So reader you wish to hear my tale, let me warn you now that it is not a tale of happiness and joy. My life, both of them, contain great Misery and suffering.

My story begins on an island, the island of Inclementia situated off the coast of Romania. This city, this necropolis, is full of sorrow and Misery and is forever shrouded with The Mist that rolls in off the sea, covering all in its path, a perfect place for secrets to be hidden away from the world. The Stone, which it is built of, is as Cold as the hearts that beat within the walls of the tomb itself and just as black and hard.
Here I met my end and also my beginning of what I am this at this present moment, for I am all eternal, the walking dead, a vampyre.

How I became this way I will explain in due course but for now let us concentrate on my human side, how ever brief and pointless it might have been. I was born and raised on this very isle, my parents both quickly passed away while I was but a child of 5 years and I was left to fend for myself, all alone, a lamb in lions den. For days I wandered, hungry, thirsty and forever seeking company that didn’t yearn to take advantage of me.

Years went by; my life crashing Down around me, until during a frosty Midwinter night, a hand lay upon my shoulder, as soft and caring as that of a mother. I turned and found a girl, her deep brown and hazel eyes gazing into mine. She spoke softly to me, “Come with me, I shall not Hurt you”, she offered me her hand, which I gladly took in my rough, hard skinned grip. Her hand was exactly how I would have imagined my mothers, soft, gentle and radiating warmth that only the kindest of people could give off in this city of trauma. She took me Down a murky street, the streetlights providing us with the only light, the Pale white moon being covered by a shroud of dark cloud.

We walked hand in hand for many minutes, barely talking but for the moments when she would interrogate me briefly, who are you? Where do you live? What are you doing on the streets? After a while we reached her house, and on the doorstep, standing with her arms wide open yet as still as a statue of granite, was, I assumed, this girls grandmother.
Feeling the warmth on my face coming through the open door, the love that these two people had for each other, and of the love that eventually this girl would share me, I entered the small shack.

Her name it turned Out was Lilliana and she like me was orphaned but at childbirth, the other difference was that Lilly, as her grandma, called her had family to turn to for shelter and the feeling of being wanted in this Cold Bleak world.
I spent many a year there, me the child of NoNe but the very streets I had been sleeping on, and her, the child of a working class couple and watched over by her caring, sweet grandmother. Together we were happy and on the eve of her 20th year of this sorrowful life, I managed to find the courage to propose that we should spend all Eternity together. She willingly accepted my offer and together we ventured Out into the world, no longer alone for we had each other and agreed that was all we needed.

---

I'm coming to Kill you, won't leave until you die.
Murder born of Vengeance

I like the love story that's developing. It's not overly sentimental, and there's some very delicate imagery here.

thanks ok so heres the next part of chapter 1 for your viewing pleasure:
5 years passed, my world slowly building itself bit by bit, as if a Master architect had somehow managed to gather the supplies he needed for my happy life. It seems though that his plans were wrong.

It was on a Bleak November night, as the crows called from the rooftops of Stone surrounding our minuscule shelter, a small apartment rented Out from a tyrannical landlord who deemed that the feeling of coins in hand was a priority over the sentiments of others, that I woke to a scream of maniacal laughter, the pitch and volume of it Unearthly, even now as a Spawn of Satan, the memory of that laughter and of what awaited me in the next room chills my unmoving blood.

Hurdling over the little possessions we kept I raced to the bedroom, the door already open, close to the point of hanging off its own hinges.
The sight that I faced upon entry of the chamber was a sight that would have maddened most men, even struck dumb the Cold hearted “humans” that inhabited this island, yet I had a stronger soul due to the many years of exile from all feelings and family.

My wife hung there, from the damp ridden rafters of our bedroom ceiling, hanging as still as death itself, unmoving, her body like an oak in the strongest of winds. The noose around her neck, the silk sheets we used last night in our night of lustful passion, their soft fibres, instead of a sense of comfort provided, brought about the chokehold of doom and the keys to which Death had given my wife the Kiss that would bring eternal dark.

Underneath her ghostly still corpse was painted a Pentagram, still Shining in the faint rays moonlight. The paint unto which this abomination of Lucifer was created was still flowing slowly Down my fair sweet wife’s hands, already beginning to solidify under her nails.
Untying the knot that had aided the Destruction of my wife’s sweet life, I took her body Down from its elevated grave and slowly, tears starting to well in my eyes, wrapped her in the spare sheets we kept in the closet.

Carrying The Temple of my love and life in my arms I carried her to the nearest bridge, The Mist providing perfect cover for such acts of fevered misery. My plan was to go to my watery grave Entwined with the still warm corpse of my wife. Willing myself, knowing this was the best thing for me to do and that there was no future for me I stepped to the edge preparing myself for the short drop into the Cold, murky depths of my grave.

As I was about to leap into the misty waters below I heard a call, “Gabriel, you are making a mistake that is not needed to be made”. I turned, not caring whom the speaker was, to Fight off whomever it was intruding the Mental peace built up for this ACT of Doomed and eternal love.

In an instant my eyes were locked on hers, the dark green emeralds that sparkled under the light of both streetlamp and Pale moon. In that one moment my whole life changed. Not noticing what I was carrying in my arms and of the memories me and IT had had, I let go of my beloved’s mummified body, hearing the splash below as the water engulfed Lilly’s body and swallowed her to its depths below. Then the realisation of what I had just done struck me and I dropped to my knees, preparing to follow the soft, shrouded bundle to its grave.

The girl in front of me was not dressed for these times, her corset and dress would have stuck Out in even the busiest of streets, yet I knew she belonged here.
“Care to spare some time with a woman who can heal your sorrow?” the girl of the night enquired of me.
Having just dropped my only reason to live into the dark pits below us I felt inclined to have at least one more moment knowing that at least one person on this pitiless earth cared for me.

I stepped down from the ledge and took the temptress’s hand in mine, leading her to a secluded alleyway, its entrance covered by the rolling mists of the river. When we reached the centre we clung to each other, arm over shoulder, lips clamped on lips. Together we moved in such a way I had only experienced with my darling, Lilliana. How I went through with this action I do not know, my mind still reeling of what had occurred that night, yet my heart telling me to carry on this sinful act of lust and forbidden desire.

---

I'm coming to Kill you, won't leave until you die.
Murder born of Vengeance