1. I’M NOT A PESSIMIST, I’M A REALIST

A curriculum
A path in existence
Limited to a minimum
Keeping reality at a distance

“Calmness, concentration,
discipline and above all;
sorting
That’s the way forward”*

Countless obscenities
Seems bearable
With all of my (un)necessities
When all feels terrible

Pierce my heart of flourish hate
Knock the walls down
See it slowly deflate
In blood drown

Wrapped in an illusion
of self-righteousness
Fueled by the absolution
within frightfulness

I
am
not
a pessimist!

I
am
a realist!

* Fuga - Jacob Ejersbo & Morten Alsinger (p. 53)


2. WHO GOT DIAGNOSED YEARS LATER

Capitol
Rails
People
All alone

Overwhelming panicle
Maintained by nails
Is this lethal?
How to get home?

Bathing in sweat
from my hands
Are we there yet
by any chance?

The great art
of an escape
Calming the heart
back into shape

Winters cold
embracing the body
Ripped of will
and clothes


3. AND DENIED ALL SENSE AND REASON

Heavy thoughts
keep haunting
All at loss
All miswanting

Caving in
to acknowledge
the previous being
and expand knowledge

This is not
a new standard
of dissolving, but
acting pandered

Refusing
sense and reason
Mind is losing
Save this heathen!

Consume me
and go back
Assume me
back on track

I am fine!
In full control
Shut up!
I am fine


4. I MEAN, WHO AM I TO BLACKOUT?

Shouting intensifies
Arguments shoot by
The threats are surfacing

Aligning desperation
Mental taxation
Situation darkening

Fading away
Pure dismay
Memory disappears
Am I still here?

Waking up
Make the bleeding stop
How did I get here?

Feel the pain
Slightly going insane
Protect me from the fear


5. WE SHOULD WELCOME THE SUFFERING,

Feeling boneless
Levitating
Repress
of hating

Well, it took some time,
but now I feel the difference
Like a challenging climb
No more ignorance

I am free
Released
No idiosyncrasies

I am free
Released
and uncaged


6. REMEMBER NOT TO PRAISE THE FALSE KING

As time went by
everything normalized
All so dry
and temporarily disguised

Tamed by a pill
Fear and anger absorbed
Fully conscious still
Minor disturbed

I’m no fool
I know, it will stay the same*
Was it the tool
to become this sane?

I feel trapped
In my own skin
Needless to adapt
There is no win

All hail Pacil Rex!
All hail!
Inhale!
Exhale!