1. DECIDING

When it's not fair, why do I have to be so?
Oh, I feel everything much more
Much more than you ever will
And it's too hard when I can't even catch your eye

Can't send you messages
And at night I dream of reasons, I can't let you go
I don't know if it's time to crack through your walls
So thick, I can't see past you

So now another winter comes through
Cold beats harder and no one is left alone
Offering you me right now
Take me I'm yours

Won't have it any other way
So don't let fools be carried by what I say
The night keeps looking our way
You're not seeing what I'm missing, I am missing you

When I think that we should run as fast as we can
Into what we don't know
When it's time to let me in
When it's time to let me in, I feel just fine.


2. THE CHOKE

Don't leave yet
It's still early and I haven't even said a word
And I'm hoping that I might upset you saying what I want to
'Cause it's not like you don't know I've fallen for

But it's in my head and that's where you can't see it
I thought that maybe if I bite you
Bite the tip of my finger
I'd stumble over words

Tell you just how far before I hit the ground
And I'm the type to think of all the wrong things to say
I will shut myself up
Well, I'll never come out

Close all my doors, only show you the black spots
Where my eyes once were
I can say this, I can say this
I can say this

I can collect myself deep down
Then I come out punching you
I can collect myself down
I come out punching you

Scream out loud, scream out loud.


3. HANDSOME BOY

I said, "That boy's handsome"
And a little bit of me wanted to be beautiful
Carrie said, "It's hard to look in the mirror these days
When everyone has everything, you'd rather be"

There's just something about his smile
He looks so nice, I wish I had friends like that
They'd always be there for me, I wouldn't look bad
They, they wouldn't talk behind my back.


4. BLINDFOLDED

Now I've made the decision
To walk behind you in the dark for the rest of my life
And I'll never show my face again
Because it's too scarred and bloody to be enough

And I don't have the right stuff
All I have are the empty boxes to carry away your heart
And I think that tonight I will sneak into your house
And I'll sing songs and wake you up

And I'll take you blindfolded dancing onto bridges
And you'll say you don't want to be with me
'Cause no one ever does, no one ever thinks of me that way
But I will even drive you home
If you never let me forget about you

And if you promise me that I'm good enough for someone
'Cause I've got to be good enough for you
Someday soon I'll get it right
Then you'll see just how good I can be
So don't ask me about forever
Because right now I'm feeling lost, lost

So there's got to be some place for me
Because if there isn't where will I go?
Will there be some place for me
And will you be there waiting
Will you be there waiting for me?

When we get there please catch me
Before I crawl all the way home, catch me
Before I crawl all the way home, catch me, catch me
Crawl all the way home, crawl all the way home but
I won't stop until you...


5. COLLISION

Three years and now I feel like completeness has set in
'Cause it's something to keep time with time
And I know it's not true that I can't keep on like this
'Cause I know I feel right and I don't think I miss a thing

And I remember when I heard that song sing,
"If the world doesn't understand
Then the world has to learn"
And maybe that's true but not everyone has to-
When ten million people all believe in the same thing how
Could they be wrong and what is sometimes?
There's a weight on my head but I know I feel right.


6. THREE MILES DOWN

Oh great! here I go again I'm stuck in this rut
Not sure how to begin should I tell you everything?
I'm feeling out of luck so I won't see you soon
'Cause I know it's too soon for you to see me

If this is the last thing you do
Just tell me that it's okay for me
To have these feelings for you
And that it's normal to want to call you

Oh I'm dialing the phone letting it ring for hours
Pretending to hear your voice
Why does my heart always beat before yours does?

After a while you can
Make yourself believe in almost anything
Making myself believe in you.


7. ALWAYS TEN FEET TALL

So I said, "lets forget these days
And just try to build some solid ground.
Maybe someday we could stand straight up
With our faces in he wind
and scream to the world."
We were at some boating dock oh somewhere
At the waterfront staring out across the channel-
A steamer blared its horn
and I wished I could say everything right
Like do you want to go for a ride?
I looked to your face and saw the sun reflecting
Off your skin and I breathed in water smells-
The skyline filled with shipping yards
And factories had me dreaming of waking up-
Am I dreaming? is this really me? because
I've never felt so not lonely

And if this could be real right now
Then everyday for the rest of my life
I will search for moments full of you
But let's hope tomorrow won't cave in 'cause I'm looking
For someone to change me
And you make me feel so tall- I always want to be this tall
'Cause maybe I'll be original
And sometimes things you say just make me
Think in different ways so this is my way of saying
I could be the one who's dragged home
At night away from all my hopeless dreams-
You and me will forge some future because
We don't want to be waiting
For something right to go wrong.


8. NEBRASKA BRICKS

And I grew up on alcoholic evenings
And slow jazz music to keep my heart beating
'Cause after all that happens in a dissolving family
The need for a song to sing me to sleep still rings true

And I always knew that there wasn't glue strong enough
To sew these roots together
And now that I've wasted too many years
And I've lost track of where I started

I have to dream at night of who I was and why
After twenty years of marriage let's say
I am what is left and I'd like to go back now
And make myself up

I'd be a brick so I wouldn't feel, I'd lift myself up
I'd throw myself at this house
To break windows and smash walls
To keep time where it was and where it should be.


9. SEEING IT THIS WAY

I never thought I could watch someone come apart
From the insides to outsides
But every day I see strings fall loose
And every day I see hope lost

With all this complicated
I can't even get pass the thought of thinking
And wondering whether help or understanding rings truer
And I don't know how to do anything anymore for you

But I know that you should stop this world spinning
Right this minute and take a look from higher up
And then you could realize just
How broken your aim really is
So why don't you ask yourself to show up sometimes?

Why don't you stand up tall and kick yourself in the mouth
To remember and to get that burn back
And scorch your stomach and bleed that passion lost
And don't forget what picked you up
And don't forget to think this time.


10. HOT TIME IN DELAWARE

Ever think we should try to re-establish
That connection that we made
During the summer's days?

Maybe I should be subtle or maybe
I should be pure, I think we should talk
About what we were going through

Wonder what it would be like if we had kept
Up that aversion, maybe kept listing
All those people that we hated

Isn't it ironic, you still have ideals
And I still have nothing
Isn't it ironic, you still have ideals
And I still have nothing

Hoping that you'll change
So we can sit straight some day
Hoping that you'll change
So we can sit straight some day

Hoping that you'll change
So we can sit straight
Hoping that you'll change

Hoping that you'll change
So we can sit straight
Hoping that you'll change.


11. HOUSES AND BILLBOARDS

Remember that last Friday before we left for Mexico?
We kissed and nothing seemed to matter like
Billie Holiday Might sing
And it rained and everything was going to be just fine-
It was like music-
And it makes me sad to know I had gotten
Into something that I could not deal with

And I will sit in my room and sleep all day
And think up dreams like I am the cutest kid in school or I Could be crazy and sing about memories-
Hey I remember when I sat on those steps watching the moon
Chase the sky back until the world
Seemed like it would explode
And I could picture going up with it
It'd be just how I'd like to go and I'd sing.


12. OBSOLETE

Every day seems the same to me
I sit around and think about how alone I feel
Then I wind up rather enjoying loneliness
Because it's the comfort of being sad

Sometimes it feels so right
And sometimes I'd like to be around
No one for ten straight years
But I know this feeling can't bring me places

And I know I'm losing lots of ground
But to keep up means to get up
And why does it have to be
The world keeps on changing while I just stay the same?

I feel like being down doesn't mean enough to anyone, anymore
And I guess the world has made emotion obsolete
And I don't think I feel the same 'cause after all
Who says what happy really means?

Tonight I will redefine everything
And tomorrow I will start in on my better days
And so each their own definition of happiness
But no one ever reaches it

So I don't think, I'll breathe that way
But happiness is when there's nowhere left to go
Because in that state of mind there is no state of self
So how was I supposed to know?


13. SOMETIMES, NEW JERSEY

I called you up to see if maybe we could hang out
And I told you I was nervous and feeling lonely
But I bit my lip and you said yes

And I thought of how beautiful the night would be
And I thought maybe we could drive around
Talking about your town or we could just stay at home
And I could win over acting cool just like real romance.


14. JODIE

Tonight I'll stay awake long enough
To stop breathing
And I wonder how long it will take
Before I pass out, drunk off night skies

Lying on hills
Wet grass below
Blue black above
I will carry all the weights tonight

'Cause I keep remembering the day
That you said you might go crazy
If you have one more minute with me
What do you think about those days? And I don't know
Is one more minute going to kill you now?

Stop me before I say too much
So now I've been alone and it's been going
But tomorrow might not come
If I don't let it

So don't forget the mornings
That we spent deep inside out heads
Staring at blank walls
'Cause that's what counts

And I don't know
But I am trying to let you go
But I can't cut too well
These strings I have around my neck

I'm trying to let you go
Trying to let you know
I'm doing this by myself

Now I've been alone and it's been going
But tomorrow might not come
If I don't let it

So don't forget the mornings
That we spent deep inside out heads
Staring at blank walls
That's what counts

And I don't know
But I am trying to let you go
But I can't cut too well
These strings I have around my neck

I'm trying to let you go
I'm trying to let you know
I'm doing this by myself

Don't forget we sent
Letters to ourselves
Without words
And it was just to remember

Just to remember
Just to remember
Just to remember those days
That we spent in our heads.