1. BIG TITTIES AND BY BALLS

Since the dawn of time I have taken shits

And all my shits are really smelly

But one day I decided to taste my shit

And it tasted like pepper jack cheese

Pepper jack cheese is really good

Better than Amy Schumer cause she sucks

Alex Jones tried my pepper jack shit too and said it was good

So I shat until my butthole hurt to make more pepper jack shit for the whole world

Everyone was happy

President Trump supports my pepper jack shit fuck yeah


2. FEMINAZI KILLER

Here I come

They call me

A beast like none before

I like to piss off angry feminists

By holding doors

I am

Feminazi killer

I kill SJWs in their dorms

I like to rape feminists

Right in their asses

I barge into their dorms

And cum on their glasses

I wedge my dick in her throat

So I can't hear her bitch

About the patriarchy

Please go make me a sandwich

You bitches are supposed to cook us food and suck all of our dicks

Get out of your vagina costume you whiny little bitch

Amy Schumer fucking sucks and the new Ghostbusters was trash

All because women aren't funny and their comedy sucks ass

Feminism is a global issue

Get these whiny cunts some fucking tissues

There's no need for your female militias

Now shut the fuck up and get back to washing dishes


3. CONSENSUALLY FACEFUCKING MADONNA AND THEN
ADMITTING THAT I DIDN'T VOTE FOR HILLARY

Free blowjobs

For all who voted for Killary

I'll just hide my MAGA hat

And get some of that mouth for me

Grabbing a head full of her blonde hair

Inserting my peener into her mouth

Thrusting back and forth while smiling

She really doesn't have a single fucking clue

Slobbing on my pulsating peter

Moaning in passion

Facefucking the queen of libtards

In a right wing fashion

My face gleems with triumph

I feel like the left wing has bowed to me

This washed up shitty pop star

Is blowing the fuck out of me

Drool drips down the back of my shaft

Gurgling on her own saliva

I'm enjoying every moment

I can't wait to see the look on her face when she finds out

Just exactly what my righteous politics are about

I'll be laughing at her shocked cum dripping mug

That's what you get for being a dumb fucking slut

I blow my load all over her throat and my dick begins to sag

As she smiles at me with her spunk-soaked face I put on my MAGA hat

She already swallowed and she don't know what to do

As I put my schlong back in my pants I give her a simple "thank you"

Dripping with my

Right wing dick milk

Savor the taste of

My Republican semen


4. ASS-RAPED BY HULK HOGAN ON A CRASHING AIRPLANE

As my plane descends

Panic erupts

We're gonna crash

Take me brother

His dying wish is my insides

Taking Hulk's shaft as I die

Now we'll all die

Now we'll all fall

Now it is time to give Hulk my all

His drive's insane

A sexual maniac

It is time to get on my Hulkamania

Take it in the ass brother

From one man to another

Fulfilling his dying wish

In my asshole he will piss

Reaching climax as we crash

Deep within my prolapsed ass

All the passengers are gone

Except for Hulk, yes he lives on