1. BOUND BY PESTILENT VINES OF INADEQUACY

Long has it been since the warmth of optimism
Nurtured my skin with its fiery glow
Luminosity that seemingly dims as years pass
Shrouded by deprecated self-worth

Seeds of beautiful flowers planted by kind hands
Having sprung and bloomed from the soil of my heart
Nourished through the gentle care of hope's radiance
Petals fall beneath a never-ending eclipse

Withered decay seeps into the soil
Wasteland fostered by my own umbra
Chill and remorse permeate the air
As the earth below brews hostility

Why does this heart yearn to rid my mind of despair
While contempt courses through my own veins
How could I cultivate warm and fertile pastures
When loving myself is a field of thorns to cross

Every attempt pierces flesh and bone
As I'm challenged against insufficiency
When one meter of ground is traversed
Ten more of stabbing and sinking extend beyond sight

I look sheepishly for anyone's help
But compulsion has left me all alone
Mud and bugs flow into my gaping mouth
Crying as sludge comforts me for all time


2. A SEDATION MOST EXCRUCIATING

Every day provides something new
Wondrous art and stories await
A carte blanche of enrichment is here
Through woven connectedness
Such comfort taken for granted
To the point of toxicity
The reach of privilege neglected
To instead augment emptiness

Void
Ensnared
Burdened by a weak, ineffectual state
Vacuum
Swirling deeper in desolation and haze
Tangled
Living like a moth in gleaming Zion
Yearning rather to burn in fire

Whispers from chilled complacency
And the strokes of her fingertips
Sweet nectar to lap lovingly
Calm the mind and blemish the soul
Locked into the eternal azure
Too afraid and dull to palette swap
Remnant hues bleed out profusely
Leeches hatch
Engorge me ‘til I’m grey

Void
Ensnared
Burdened by a weak, ineffectual state
Vacuum
Swirling deeper in desolation and haze
Tangled
Living like a moth in gleaming Zion
Yearning for more

Out of reach are the fruits of life
Rot and dust permeate the muse
Developed stills of a younger self
His bright eyes pierce me with disdain

Void
Feeble
Wretched parasites of my own design
Coward
Frightened to pull them
Vibrance prospers not
Engulfed
Living like a moth in scorching fire
State of ashes fitting for the color grey


3. COALESCENCE

Gentle brushstrokes caress the vacant canvas
Dazzling colors flourish as they blend together

If only the will to live was nearly as vigorous
Though weary minds in ripe flesh
Are keys for a masterwork Divine

Fateful venture proceeds amidst ropes and tubs
Grandeur display awaits with paint and sulfuric acid

Such a pristine plastic vessel of white
Nakedness tingled by its fine, cold touch
Only the joy of paint soaking in pores
Can match painful Erasure of muscle and bone

Melted skin for the exhibit
Guts dissolved to black bile
Hues dance among swirled crimson
Here atop the lonely pinnacle of art