1. THE ALTAR

Bleeding red from a blushing hue,
Sun splashes onto rocks below.
This liquid gold, this fade to blue.
No more leaves left to grow.

Keeping time has made me lose
All these things I held so close.
The paths I take, the same as old.
No more leaves left to grow.

Building love just to tear it down,
Tower crashes into dust below.
This temple falls, this ode to sound.
No more leaves left to grow.

What will balance mean
When I am alone;
When God comes to collect
But I'm already gone?
What will balance mean
when I am alone?

Bleeding red from a blushing hue
Sun splashes on to rocks below

What will balance mean
When I am alone;
When god comes to collect
But I'm already gone?


2. SUMMER COMES TO MULTIPLY

This plastic heart, it feels like hell.
These things I’ve said, I'll mute myself
These ribbon eyes, I'll cut them out.
A fluid verse, a life unshelved.

Crush my skull,
Crush my hope.

What life do you have left?
What bridge do you have to burn?
I’ll lay crawling beneath
The weight of this mountain.
I’ll die waiting for the blood
Of pain to come.
This impeccable painting of crimson,
This impeccable painting of malice.

Judgement, Judgement Day.
Hang yourself
By the body,
The body you once loved.

What else do you have to desire?
What else do you have to burn?
A moth to flame,
A head to shake.
I’ll die waiting for the blood
Of pain to come
This impeccable painting of malice,
This impeccable painting of crimson.


3. HOLE IN MY HEAD

I'm at war with myself.
Pull out my lungs,
This body has failed,
And the days end.

A hole in my chest.
Cut out my throat.
Melt in the fires,
Carry this stone.

A fear in my heart.
Tear off my limbs
Make me your thoughts
Beautiful death.

I can't ever forget,
No more to lose.
Serve a dead god
In a cold sweat.

A blade in my heart,
Watch me die as I bleed out.
Chaos in my head.
A skeleton.

Watch me burn out.


4. THE GATES HAVE CLOSED AND THEY WILL NEVER OPEN

Between the mountains and me,
Where I will stand;
These hills against us?
Will I ever be okay,
Find myself again?
This lesson can't be taught;
A river between us;
A bridge falling apart.
Look deeper in my head,
To the dirt, the meaning
Of these candles burning.
Will I ever be okay?

In my head candles go out.

Forever to go.
I'll fight myself.


5. THE CHALICE

The burning orange horizon,
The mountain I carry
Will bring me to the end.
I will end me.

Your grip is iron.
Blood slips from my teeth.
You pour over me until I am broken.
Melted, mended, innocent.
The last time I'll cry until I see God.
Here in, my hands:
Sunlight, blackened eyelids, sunspots.
Can't wait to end me.
Spare me calamity,
See me descending.
Do I exist here to serve or pray?
For goodness?
Limitless, callous looming of the guillotine.

When I meet my maker,
He'll have to kill me twice.
No more forgiveness,
Just a hole in my life.


6. TEN THOUSAND YEARS OF UNENDING FAILURE

This march to vanquish,
Hands to my head.
The endless high,
Shame is burden.

Can you blame me?
Hands to my head.
The blood crawls
From my skin.

I mend my will
But I fall again.
The same mistake
Until I lose control.

If God forgives
I'll skip the day.
Burn the confessional
Toss away the key.

The screaming of one thousand angels
Ripped from the skies.
Their bodies all destroyed,
I watched them fall
Into the fucking gorges.
A rain of red and white.
The screaming of one thousand angels
Ripped from the skies.

When obsession takes over I'll be fine.
When destruction takes over I'll decide.


7. EVERY DAY A WEEPING CURSE

Another door open in my chest
Made of granite and oak.
It melts away in the sun,
Leaving just the stone.

Nowhere left to run.
My hands are full.
At the end:
I heave the last box of regret
Into the abyss.
I stand and wonder,
"Who lives for me?"
My tomb in amber,
My life below the silt.
My eyes are pure,
Should I be buried at sea or sand?

I can fight again,
All this bad blood
Turns black and blue.
An elephant
in this desert.

Through the abyss.


8. IN THE FERAL GRACE OF NIGHT, MAY THE LAST BREATH NEVER COME

This lack of sadness,
The bottom of my world.
A tired ship torn apart,
Leave me to hang alone.
Some form of life,
A new day to shattered hearts.
My hope is all gone.
Terrific thing, terrific thing.
Obsession turns herself to me,
"Have you heard me all along?"
Limb from limb, god from god.
Thank you for it all,
This death, this song.
Chaos feels better than happiness.
Sharpen this blade on my skin.
I won't ask again, just tear my throat.
I will be whole again.
And when I die, god I hope to be good.
I hope to be good. I hope to be God.
My pride, my greed, envy, gluttony.
My lust, wrath and sloth.
Helpless, helpless cause.
Change must come.
These blades of grass.
I can't come down.
And when I die, god I hope to be good.
I hope to be good. I hope to be God.
Strike me, strike me down,
Make me, make me yours.
Take my, take my love.
My last, last goodbye
Show my, show my ending.
I hope to be, to be good, to be God.
I understand: destroy myself to forget.
I understand: forget love, forget me.