1. BEAUTY'S GONE

Past.
With time lapse there are less and less witnesses of my past life
Past being warm, quiet asylum of today
Being foundation of what is today
Nostalgic, aching, soothing
Night filled with hope - with them, with you
Non-lenghty waiting for the end
I am putting up a monument for her, for beauty’s gone…

The Fall came and I’m suffocating, as with the last pages of long read book.
Tense waiting – and suddenly - … Sun is not rising…
Beauty’s gone.

And too often I help and let myself live with what’s in my head
Letting go the indifference of my disappointments
Tonight, I will die once again,
I will spill out of myself
I will cry an anthem for you – with silence

Be my witness!
For beauty’s gone
Cry for us!
For beauty’s gone
You’re gone!
For beauty’s gone
I don’t give disdain and pain about it all.

Longing.
Sometimes I am missing vanity of everything
But IT always comes back with redoubled force
And frustration. Anger.
Distorted sentiment.

Ghosts, scenes, pictures of the past returning unwillingly
Return tonight!
It is my begging cry, for beauty’s gone…

The winter came, peace came beside it. In spring again will I melt with the snow…


2. ...AND CEMETERY IVY WILL COVER MY GRAVE

And when my end will come, I am only afraid
to make it to spit with disdain on this world
and all the life that's coursing it
Temporary losses and temporary profits
Instinctive engagement and involvement
Disgust for my own self

And the cemetery ivy will cover my grave
GRAVE!

Serie of ups and downs - that do not really matter
Cold-blooded insensitivity
Dead-sparkling shield made of cynicism and misanthropy
Repeating fatigue from ambivalent feelings
Willingness and reluctance for loneliness
Willingness and reluctance for definitive end.

And the cemetery ivy will cover my grave
GRAVE!

,,Turmoil is the god, madness is the god
Permanent living peace is permanent living death"

,,What I really wanted was only a soft, hazy space to live in, and to be left alone. On the other hand, when I got drunk I screamed, went crazy, got all out of hand. One kind of behavior didn't fit the other. I didn't care.”

Darkness. Coldness.
Unconsciousness. Nothingness. Peace...

And when my end will come, I am only afraid
There is nothing on the other side
Lost opportunities will still be lost opportunities
Might-have-been words and meets will be just that
...that for disdain there might be a punishment

...and cemetery ivy will only embrace my pain...
PAIN!


3. MOONLIGHT CLEARING IN THE WOODS

Time.
Elongated shadows following the mystery
Grey shadows listening
There is choleric cross, we stride into woods now

Constantly staring up
Constantly watched from the side

Howling dogs and blows of summer wind.
Black windows are filling up with movement.
In the sedges sea are Blake and Swedenborg.
Stroke by silence, disturbed by the light.

Constantly staring up
Constantly watched from the side
Maybe for the last time...

Silence
July night.
It starts to rain,
A storm is gathering.


4. WE DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS OUR LAST NIGHT IN THIS WORLD

(No lyrics available)


5. COTARD DELUSION

I am dead. I can't die once more.
My body is rotting, devoured by worms
Only skin left on the outside
The heart, lungs, brain, stomach - they are gone

You can't hear beating of my heart. SILENCE!
There is no god nor satan. (SILENCE!)
I was sentenced for this body after death (SILENCE!)
this is my punishment for sinful life. (SILENCE!)

Eternal wayfaring in the world which wasn't mine,
in the body which doesn't belong to me
I am surrounded by creatures and people
who are imitating living critters
My place is in cemetery.

This dead world don't wake any emotions in me

Nothing can happen to what is already dead.

Look!


6. NOSTALGIA (NOCTURNAL DEPRESSION COVER)

And once again despair is kissing me
With her cold ghostly lips
My own destruction is leading me to my grave
That I digged for many times

And once again I'm becoming a spectral thought
Forgotten, sad, miserable shit
As I fall into the black spheres among lonely memories
You've broken us, piece by piece
The score of my soundtrack is written by blood
Music of suicide written in red
I did it myself, my wrists are also opened

And like my tears, it's cascading
Everything has been lost
Behind us, On my kness, hands on my face
The sun is appearing into the spring morning
Where I'm lying there's just nothing than my dust

Now you don't care about him
You live on the other side of feelings
But our February snow
Is now covering my lifeless body

Nostalgia.