"Forgive me father for I have sinned"

"Anton Szandor LaVey is my idol"

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danish band
sux...

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I have made a variety of bad things but i dont regret for them.Does this makes me evil?I really dont care.One of these things was when i broke a finger of a girl in my class bacause she was laughing at me.(I was 16).I still dont feel any regret.

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oh he ought to be an admiral, a sultan, or a King
And to his praises we shall always sing
Look what he has done for us, he's filled us up with cheer
Lord bless Cha

my confession? I'm a quiet, keep all emotions inside and bottle everything up kind of person. But inside my Head, i destroy the world and Hurt the ones around me. Sometimes it feels like i could reach out and choke someone but i will never let myself get that way. People around me think I'm a kind quiet person who never shows any emotions....its weird how people think about me...but dont worry i wont Hurt you.

An_Unspoken_Slave some people really must be Hurt (they cannot understand another way).I really believe that you should break that bottle (as i did).After you do it the people will look at you like .They will Curse you,Hate you,fear you.It is the price that you must pay to be well with yourself.After that you will find people that like you for what you are not that they want you to be (maybe ). 

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oh he ought to be an admiral, a sultan, or a King
And to his praises we shall always sing
Look what he has done for us, he's filled us up with cheer
Lord bless Cha

but im so scared to break all these emotions out...i've been Twisted into something i Hate just to please everyone and now my life hangs in the balance of lies and pretending im okay...but inside im screaming to be heard, screaming to Kill, screaming to die...this bottle that i carry has endured abuse, disorders, everything you can imagin and more...im afriad that....im not strong enough to break it...i dont care what others think, i could care less...but......h-help me more 1archon1....you seem to know things that i could only dream of....please help me...

An_Unspoken_Slave-
Im sorry this is a little irrelavent but i couldnt help noticing,that you are an amazing writer. I Envy that about you,and i can tell from that paragraph alone.
 
But on a serious note,its horrible of what happened to you,but all in all,i think that you should just break that bottle like the other guy said.Fuck what other people think,dont be a machine.
 
 

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An_Unspoken_Slave dont even think that i am better than you.I am the worst of the worst.I have damned almost everyone and everything just to be well only with my self.I dont know what you have been through and i really hope you dont mean all those things you say.But if you really mean them the only one that can help you is your own self.Whatever you do just remember that you are not alone,there are people out there with propably the same problems with you and even more(If you search this site i am sure you will find many.just look at the <yes> percent in the suicide forum).

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oh he ought to be an admiral, a sultan, or a King
And to his praises we shall always sing
Look what he has done for us, he's filled us up with cheer
Lord bless Cha

thanks stewie0, i apprecaite that...1archon1 by the way you think and from what i seen you're probably better than myself...im too fucking scared to do anything for myself but to follow and die by myself...you know all too well about this Darkness and that does make you better than i...i know im not compeltly alone but im damn near close...everyone around doesnt understand why i feel the way i do because NoNe of them have been through what i've seen and felt and done...i try and explain but it never amounts to anything...but i'll take your word for it that there might be people like me...i'll give you that maybe...

Back to the topic (because i dont want to see it closed).One day(or night)  i was so drunk that i started laughing at everyone in the bar i was (i think),broke some bottles and they threw me out!!

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oh he ought to be an admiral, a sultan, or a King
And to his praises we shall always sing
Look what he has done for us, he's filled us up with cheer
Lord bless Cha