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1. Hey, Goth Girl, Isn’t It a Little Hot to be Wearing Pants? | ||
2. A Rhetorical Question: What Do Christian Kids Talk About? (Ex: “God is Awesome!” “Totally!”) | ||
3. I Don’t Lift Weights to Impress the Bitches. I Lift Weights to Knock a Sucka’s Teeth Out. | ||
4. Three East Steps to Digging Up and Reanimating Your Ass, Only to Rock It Into the Ground Once Again. | ||
5. You’re Fired, You’re Fired, You’re Fired. Goddman It, I’m Spike Lee. | ||
6. Hey, Girl, Are You Down With Bacteria? And If So, Would You Like to See the Inside of Our Van? | ||
7. Oh, My God. Omigod. Ohhhhh my god. I Thought Nail Guns Had a Safety. | ||
8. I’m Pretty Sure I Got My Cat Pregnant. | ||
9. They Say the People Elect the Government They Deserve, But I Don’t Remember Knife-Raping Any Retarded Nuns |
1. Whoa, Frankenstein! I didn’t program you to make out with boys! |
2. Let’s fall in love over AIM so we can fuck when we meet at Cornerstone. |
3. It sure does get lonely out here in the boondocks. Thank god for cock. |
4. Call me old-fashioned, but I think trains are kick-ass. |
5. Girl, are you pregnant? It’s not my fault! You seduced me! |
6. Did you ever notice that “stat” is “tats” backward? Dude, that’s so tribal. |
7. Cheeseburger Karma 2004: A Jam Odyssey. |
8. Pssst! Hey, the lord is awesome. Pass it on. |
9. My other car is a centaur. |
10. Killing the wheelchair-bound as they exit church with missiles fired from helicopters is my milieu. |
11. Are you there, God? Please help me stop masturbating |