Poetry Hour - Forum Spirit of Metal

Poetry Hour

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MenstrualBubbles

message posted the : Tuesday 10 March 2009 - 23:22:22

Fifth circle
Registered the : 2010-03-22
Messages: 209

A thread devoted to us poets out there. Write, discuss, rate, and repeat. Keep it cool.

"Fuck Shit Die"

Fuck it in the mouth
Shit in the mouth
Die in your mouth

Fuck on its face
Shit on its face
Die on its face

Fuck the fucking fuckers
Shit the shitting shitters
Die the Dying dyers

FUCK. SHIT. DIE.

Dedicated to people who piss me off.

8% of teens have moved
onto rock. If you are Part of the 8% that
still rock out every day, but want to pornogrind, copy and
paste this into your signature !

Check out the pornogoredgrindz!!!

CreatioExMateria

message posted the : Tuesday 10 March 2009 - 23:24:18

Such anger! The repetition really adds to it.
I actually thought of a riff while reading that. See what happens!?

MenstrualBubbles

message posted the : Tuesday 10 March 2009 - 23:34:19

Fifth circle
Registered the : 2010-03-22
Messages: 209

^Start another poem up, I thought mine up while I wrote it.

8% of teens have moved
onto rock. If you are Part of the 8% that
still rock out every day, but want to pornogrind, copy and
paste this into your signature !

Check out the pornogoredgrindz!!!

NecroCannibalism

message posted the : Tuesday 10 March 2009 - 23:46:20

can i join? thats smthng i wrote after my grandma died, it was produced after one of the dreams i had with her. So you can say that i saw her like that in my dream and i basically reproduced it into a poem.

“The Old granny was dressed up in a little girl’s clothes…”
Pink clothes and a gum in her mouth
“The Old granny was dressed up in a little girl’s clothes…”
Playing with her gum and chewing it childishly
“The Old granny was dressed up in a little girl’s clothes…”
But her hair had fallen from her Skull
And her face was nothing but bones
Come play with the little granny
Come and let her sit to your lap
She will behave, I promise.

CreatioExMateria

message posted the : Tuesday 10 March 2009 - 23:55:13

citation :

NecroCannibalism says : can i join? thats smthng i wrote after my grandma died, it was produced after one of the dreams i had with her. So you can say that i saw her like that in my dream and i basically reproduced it into a poem.

“The Old granny was dressed up in a little girl’s clothes…”
Pink clothes and a gum in her mouth
“The Old granny was dressed up in a little girl’s clothes…”
Playing with her gum and chewing it childishly
“The Old granny was dressed up in a little girl’s clothes…”
But her hair had fallen from her Skull
And her face was nothing but bones
Come play with the little granny
Come and let her sit to your lap
She will behave, I promise.

That's really haunting. I like the repetition at the beginning, and the surrealism of the piece.

NecroCannibalism

message posted the : Wednesday 11 March 2009 - 00:01:39

citation :

CreatioExMateria says : Just saw your post now Menstrual! Okay, here's one I'm going to make as I type. I'm kind of in a bad Mood right now, so that may help...

I feel the Bile rising;
I spit ichor
from a throat
that has been slit.

You lay your hands
across my trachea,
and I believe
that it is love.

This Asphyxiation;
This intoxication;
I breathe you in
and you are poison.

My lungs are filled
with your sorrow;
My corset is laced
with melancholy.

I am dead inside;
Leave my corpse
as you found it -
Soulless and silent.

I'm upset about something with someone right now, so it was good to get that out!

im really not goot at commenting in poems... but i see some really good images in this.

CreatioExMateria

message posted the : Wednesday 11 March 2009 - 00:05:05

Thank you dear.

Menstrual asked to just type one out on the spot, but I kinda like it, so I may work on it.

MenstrualBubbles

message posted the : Wednesday 11 March 2009 - 00:08:06

Fifth circle
Registered the : 2010-03-22
Messages: 209

The best poetry to me is poetry thats thought up on the spot.

8% of teens have moved
onto rock. If you are Part of the 8% that
still rock out every day, but want to pornogrind, copy and
paste this into your signature !

Check out the pornogoredgrindz!!!

CreatioExMateria

message posted the : Wednesday 11 March 2009 - 00:15:32

That's generally what I do too, although sometimes I go back and change a word. Like in the last one I put in, I'll change the last verse.

NecroCannibalism

message posted the : Wednesday 11 March 2009 - 00:25:02

oh we had to write a poem like right now? sorry didnt understand that.. well in that case im too tired for that sorry.
some other time perhaps

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