ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL:

Bloodhounds shall cruise rendezvous
Break curfew new trip ensues
You never know Bloodhounds just go
Pack backpack up for down the road
No change of clothes but change for tolls
pack of No-Doz Rolos and SKoal
Old Milwaukee Jolt black coffee
Sugar Daddy Rand McNally
A pack of jacks those orange Tic-Tacs
Glen Miller tracks roll of Kodak
The phantom black stacked Pontiac
Hot rod dual quads and in the back
Is the beat keeper big ass speaker
Jumbo woofer rattle tweeter
Dial is turned and there it's stayin'
The next day where Stern is playin'

You got your Jesus on the dashbord but the devil's under my hood
You're taking it down legal I'm pullin' it up to no good
God is your co-pilot I let Satan ride shotgun
You pay a toll to get to heaven but on the road to hell there's none
x 2

Get up you're asleep at the wheel x 8

I-95 eight lanes wide
Midnight drive take a ride
Alongside east coast tide
Getting high so am I
Bloodshot red eyes from the fumes
I consume engine zoom then engine boom
Then enging glow erupt and blow
And overflow like volcano
So far to go can't turn back though
Cheap tobacco cup of black Joe
Fuelin' my body jumstartin' my soul
Set my mind on cruise control

You got your Jesus on the dashbord but the devil's under my hood
You're taking it down legal I'm pullin' it up to no good
God is your co-pilot I let Satan ride shotgun
You pay a toll to get to heaven but on the road to hell there's none
x 2

Get up you're asleep at the wheel x 8

24-7 Truck Stop Plaza
Turn off headlights turn on hazards
3 A.M. is when I gazed
Eyes glazed I'm dazed and then I fade
To black now were back
'On The Road' like Kerouac
Down the turnpike high rate of speed
Up all night like Gilbert Gottfried

You got your Jesus on the dashbord but the devil's under my hood
You're taking it down legal I'm pullin' it up to no good
God is your co-pilot I let Satan ride shotgun
You pay a toll to get to heaven but on the road to hell there's none
x 2

Get up you're asleep at the wheel x 8

BOOM:

Yo Bloodhound Gang and Rob Van Winkle together on this track

Stop as we drop this bomb
Blow up this place like another Vietnam
Heavy like a Tyson blow to the dome
Back up son give me room give me room
To set it off like this don't give it up
I'm all up in you till you just can't get enough
Real hard to the bone you want more
I sneak up on you like a sniper at your back door
Phat flavor for your brain you know the time
So check the wrath it's for real I'm gonna get mine
Roll up on you like Eastwood
Blowing up fifteens as I'm riding through your neighborhood
I spreads butter like Parkay
Real smooth with flow and even when I parlay
Do what you feel and check the skill
I'm in your grill peep this I got the raw deal
I'm in your Jeep Grand Cherokee or Land Cruiser
When you're rolling through the hood you want to use a
Track like this all up in your eardrum
So check the E.Q. and let them speakers hum
And gets crazy like Prozac
Hype enough to start a party and illy as a heart attack
Round one round two knocKout
Straight to your head my round never lights out

Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee a
x 4

Jimmy Jimmy y'all Jimmy damn Jimmy yea
Gimme the mic Rob so I can take it away
Got more lines than the welfare office
Are you upset you'll never get to be as clever as this?
Spreadin' quicker than your mom have a feel but don't cop it
Yea I stole your beat but that's'cause you dropped it
Crude as oil unrefined but slick
I'm gonna get you from behind like a gay convict
'Cause my name ain't Quasimodo but I still got a hunch
That like the Jim Jones cult I'll take you out with one punch
You're Spiro Agnew and I'm the Dick you answer to
You're sweating like a watermelon at a Baptist bar-b-cue
Sneaking up like celery yeah I'm stalking
I squeak like Stephen Hawkings yeah but I'm walkin'
Nose to ground so this Bloodhound will sniff and follow it
I hope you choke on your pride when I make you swallow it
Screaming like a Mimi when you see me coming near you
Like a Kenny Loggins' record no one's ever gonna to hear you
Like a game of hide and seek it's all over if I see ya
'Cause your yellower than tinkle and you'll be running like diarrhea

Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee a
x 8

FIRE WATER BURN:

Refrain:
The roof the roof the roof is on fire x 3
We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn
Burn motherfucker burn

Hello my name is Jimmy Pop and I'm a dumb white guy
I'm not old or new but middle school fifth grade like junior high
So I don't know mofo if y'all peeps be buggin' give props to my ho 'cause she all fly
But I can take the heat'cause I'm the other white meat known as 'Kid Funky Fried'
Yea I'm hung like planet Pluto hard to see with the naked eye
But if I crashed into Uranus I would stick it where the sun don't shine
'Cause I'm kind of like Han Solo always stroking my own wookie
I'm the root of all that's evil yea but you can call me cookie

Refrain

Yo yo this hard-core ghetto gangster image takes a lot of practice
I'm not black like Barry White no I am white like Frank Black is
So if man is five and the devil is six than that must make me seven
This honkey's gone to heaven
But if I go to hell then I hope I burn well
I'll spend my days with J.F.K., Marvin Gaye, Martha Raye, and Lawrence Welk
And Kurt Cobain, Kojak, Mark Twain and Jimi Hendrix's poltergeist
And Webster yea Emmanuel Lewis 'cause he's the anti-christ

Refrain

Everybody here we go - Ohh Ohh
C'mon party people - Ohh Ohh
Throw your hands in the air - Ohh Ohh
C'mon party people - Ohh Ohh
Wave 'em like you don't care - Ohh Ohh
C'mon party people - Ohh Ohh
Everybody say ho - Ohh Ohh
C'mon party people - Ohh Ohh
x 4

GOING NOWHERE SLOW:

Got the mike in my hand but can I make you understand
That a-hole bands have a-hole fans
Bloodhound's the name and the Gang's to blame
Like Chan n' Chin the Siamese twins it's one in the same
So fame ain't gonna live forever
Never worrying about dying'cause it can't be any better
But whatever happens to happen always happens for the worst
And if the worst is yet to happen I hope it happens to you first
So hello Joe what do you know?
Heard ya just got back from a Bloodhound show
Did you do the Batussi or did you do the Hustle?
Did you do the Flamin' Waffle or the Super Bowl Shuffle?
No matter what you did you're gonna be amused
If you were not entertained you did not drink enough booze
If ya get your eyes a'fuzzin' then we'll get your ears a'buzzin'
'Cause we play around the world you play around with your cousin
Bloodhound boys
Bloodhound girls
Bloodhound noise
Bloodhound world
Rock on rock on do it dusk til' dawn
Anywhere we go everywhere we've gone
Don't matter what town what state what show
Hell-bound Bloodhound going nowhere slow
We rock Philadelphia Baltimore Las Vegas Indianapolis
Louisville Atlanta New Orleans and Minneapolis
Houston Tucson Phoenix Buffalo
Tulsa Mobile Albuquerque Wichita and Orlando
Portland Salt Lake City Memphis Washington D.C
Charlotte Oklahoma City Little Rock and Milwuakee
Cleveland Tampa Norfolk Dallas Raleigh Hartford Cincinatti
Boston Nashville Kansas City Chattanooga and Miami
Honolulu Richmond Austin Pittsburgh San Antonio
Baton Rouge and Anchorage and Birmingham and Toledo
Denver Detroit Dayton Spokane Fresno
And Jacksonville Colombus Springfield New York Sacramento
Los Angeles St. Paul St. Louis San Francisco
Madison Knoxville Seattle San Jose and San Diego
Jackson Omaha Des Moines Boise Providence Chicago
But no where in New Jersey that's the only place we won't go
Bloodhound boys
Bloodhound girls
Bloodhound noise
Bloodhound world
Rock on rock on do it dusk til' dawn
Anywhere we go everywhere we've gone
Don't matter what town what state what show
Hell-bound Bloodhound going nowhere slow

I WISH I WAS A QUEER SO I COULD GET CHICKS:

If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter
My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too
Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?
I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be
Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony
Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry
Scoring with a super model would be easy
'Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonomous with 'super dumb'
Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become
That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes
The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean
See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline
No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis
Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he talks like this
And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway
And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
And I don't shave my heiny
Don't shave my heiny
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

KISS ME WHERE IT SMELLS FUNNY:

You came twice last year like a Sears catalog
'Cause your last boyfriend makes love like Boss Hogg
Well now you're seeing me but soon I'll have you seeing God
'Cause girl I'll get you panting like you're Pavlov's dog
Like a DC-10 I'm guaranteed to go down
But baby your black box is the one that I found
So down I go like I'm 2000 Flushes
I can tell I'm doing something right by the way that she blushes
She's one that's speechless but I'm the one that's tongue tied
She's thinking holy mackerel I'm thinking tuna on the side
There must be something wrong with Al Pacino's nose
'Cause the scent of a woman is like rotten tomatoes
Yea I'm snorkeling for clams and it doesn't matter if I wanna be
Don't come up for air until you kiss me where it smells funny
Drop my face below her waist and stay on third base
I can tell that the cherry's ripe by the way it tastes
Yea I could make a lot of wine with the yeast I find inside her panties
And then drink it while eating out down at the Seafood Shanty

LIFT YOUR HEAD UP HIGH (AND BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT):

Do you still go to raves?
Do you think that Christ saves?
Do you spend your days in a Purple Haze?
Do you contemplate what a grape nut is?
Or could you live drinkin' your own whiz?
Are you hooked on a feeling are you hooked on gin-n-tonics?
Are you hooked on fistin are you hooked on phonics?
Did you ever have sex with a box of Kleenex?
Did you like the movie Malcolm X?
Or do you own a record by Stryper?
Do you have a mongoloid cousin wearin' diapers?
Were you born and raised in New Jersey?
Did you like the taste of Crystal Pepsi?
Are you deaf?
Well if you are you can't hear me
But what's the use of living if your ear's be?
Broken even if I spoke clearly
You're still not able to hear me
'Cause life is a game that no one wins
But you deserve a headstart the way your life's goin'
So throw in the towel'cause your life ain't shit
No take that towel and hang yourself with it
Life's short and hard like a body-building elf
So save the planet and kill yourself
If you're feeling down-and-out with what your life's all about
Lift your head up and blow your brains out
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out
Does your girlfriend look like the chick from M*A*S*H?
Dead ringer for Klinger with a thicker mustache?
When you're at a get-together does everybody always ask?
Ain't no Halloween party why's she wearin' that mask?
Does she got more Chins than the Chinese phone book?
Would you rather make out with a rusty fish hook?
Does she stick to linoleum when she squats?
Does she look pregnant although she's not?
Did you first see your boyfriend on Cops?
Or at a Star Trek convention or on top?
Of your best friend or maybe at Wendy's?
Workin' third shift late New Years' Eve?
Does he live under a bridge scare kids and kill squirrels?
Does he do kegstands until he hurls?
Could a blind man mistake his complexion for Braille
Does he have time to sit around and wait for the mail
Life is a game that no one wins
But you deserve a headstart the way your life's goin'
So throw in the towel'cause your life ain't shit
No take that towel and hang yourself with it
Life's short and hard like a body-building elf
So save the planet and kill yourself
If you're feeling down-and-out with what your life's all about
Lift your head up and blow your brains out
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out
So take your life instead of taking it for granted
I'm thinking you should can it I think I'll help you plan it
Live today like it's gonna be your last
Hang out blow your mind have yourself a gas
I hope you take this the wrong way
And misinterpret what I say
Rewind and let me reverse
Backwards like Judas Preist first did
'Cause life is a game that no one wins
But you deserve a headstart the way your life's goin'
So throw in the towel'cause your life ain't shit
No take that towel and hang yourself with it
Life's short and hard like a body-building elf
So save the planet and kill yourself
If you're feeling down-and-out with what your life's all about
Lift your head up and blow your brains out
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out

SHUT UP:

I'm Jimmy Pop here in a jiffy heat me up and add oil
I'm like a zit a wart a corn a cyst a festering boil
I get under your skin and I sebaceously form
I'm as deep as the plot to an amateur gay porn
Keep ya hungry for more like Bangladesh
Then I'll borg di borg do borg ya like the Swedish Chef
'Cause I'm one of a kind and kind of hard to find
Kind of like an Injun without his fire water wine
I'm like Schneider one day at a time
I'm feeling like Bob Vila nailing up your behind
To my wall like Daniel-son does
I'm waxing on I'm waxing off I'm waxing just because
I get wired like a Western Union and I got to be me
And I got more balls than the daily lottery
Like hemorrhoidal itch yo you can't ignore me
'Cause I'm more tongue and cheek than a lesbo orgy
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
'Cause' I don't like you'cause you're not like me
Second verse is different from the first
I'm Jimmy Pop I am
Jimmity Jimmity Pop I am I am
See my name's not Hoover and I don't give a damn
And I got a different angle like a parellelogram
And you'll be all ears like a field of corn
I'll make you Dizzy like Gillespie as I toot my own horn
Like a No. 2 pencil I always got a point
You'll want to share it with friends like a poorly rolled joint
I'm Jimmy Pop y'all I'm Jimmy Pop y'all I'm an Alka Seltzer that's right you're a seagull
As I continue to expand your head is gonna burst
Leave a bad taste in your mouth like moldy Liverwurst
Like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre I'll get in your face
But then I'll brush you off like Aqua-Fresh toothpaste
'Cause I'm letting off steam like a Chinese Laundromat
But I'm not a roll of Charmin so don't give me no crap
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
'Cause' I don't like you'cause you're not like me
I hate a lot of whites and I hate a lot of blacks
I hate poopin' in public places but we all hate that
I hate lesbian feminists because they're all so damn ugly
I hate Spin Magazine'cause they never ever plug me
I hate Regis and Kathie Lee
I hate every single movie by that midget Spike Lee
I hate people that think I care what they think
I hate people that think their ass don't stink
I hate Jon Bon Jovi but I hate his music more
I hate killing people because I hate to keep score
I hate you but you hate yourself too
I hate to be honest but I'd hate to be you
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
'Cause' I don't like you'cause you're not like me

WHY'S EVERYBODY IS ALWAYS PICKIN' ON ME ?

Why is everbody always pickin' on me?
The morn' that I was born my old man beat up the dotor
He clocked the doctor'cause the doctor said I looked like Chewbacca
The doctor said sir you're misled sir which infers you mistook me
I did not mean your lovely wife was shackin' up with a wookie
What I mean is Wolverine is less hairy than your son
He's looks like Chewie Baba Booey Baba Booey and Hong Kong Phooey all in one
To put it mild your new-born child's completely nutty fu-fu lookin'
I'd shove him back into the oven until he is done cookin'
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
'Cause my fifteen year-old cousin has less acne
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
'Cause you got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
'Cause you're white but you got a nose like Bill Cosby
Why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Always pickin' and rippin' apart poor ol' Jimmy Pop Ali
I got a schnoz like the 'Cos' but there's a lot more wrong with you
So back me up Bill yea and you're ugly too
So what if I brush my teeth with a piece of cheddar cheese
Or where a fish net shirt by Chams with my Sergio Valenti jeans
And my mirror never lies but it always verifies
I got more cheese and pepperoni than a homemade pizza pie
You compare me to a Monchichi but I don't understand
Why I'm scorned like I'm deformed like the Elephant Man
And yea I took my mom to the prom but hey she asked me first
But at least this time I didn't find my date in the back of a hearse
About as popular with the girls with Englebert Humperdink
And that might be 'cause everybody calls me Shrinky Dink
I know I'm known as Polaroid I'm not a total retard
It's'cause I'm done in sixty seconds and you'll still want it enlarged
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
'Cause ya wore velour flares until the late Eighties
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
'Cause you run like a girl and sit down to pee
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
'Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
You took your mom to the prom but still got lucky
Like that episode where Gilligan gets sick of being teased
And he breaks into the Professor's lab and makes some LSD
Peaks freaks and eats the Skipper's brains then beats Ginger with coconuts
As Mr. Howell and Lovey burn alive inside their grass hut
Oh he'll kill again that Gilligan they he should of let him be
And like a postal clerk I'll go beserk if you don't stop teasing me
See the trick is only pick on those that can't do you no harm
Like the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
'Cause my fifteen year-old cousin has less acne
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
'Cause you got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
'Cause you're white but you got a nose like Bill Cosby
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
'Cause ya wore velour flares until the late Eighties
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
'Cause you run like a girl and sit down to pee
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
'Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
'Cause no one likes you monkey boy

YELLOW FEVER:

Are those numchucks in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
Let me take you back to the day that I met my China girl
When I landed a 'Pam' like on the San Fran Real World
I was sweating like a vegetable inside of a wok
I'd never been to Asia Minor but I was gonna BangKok
Like Kristy Yamaguchi I had to break the ice
Should I talk about Mothra M*A*S*H or shrimp-fried rice?
I was sharp as a Chinese star but it's a line I threw
Just thirty seconds over Tokyo and this Johnny would Woo
I took a shot like Jeanette Lee put on my moves like Bruce Lee
I told he every Soon Yi needs a little Woody
She said for all the tea in China my vagina's not free
But my love will linger longer than the Ming Dynasty
I said I needed her to do and her to do my laundry
I knew she needed a way to stay legally within the country
She was made in Taiwan I said I'm O.K. with that
Just promise me you'll never try to eat my cat
Chinky chinky bang bang I love you
Chinky chinky bang bang I know you love me too
In Japan the hand is used as a knife
In Japan a man's wife's hand job than can cost him his life
But now this Captain Kirk has his own Sulu
I'll shampoo her Foo Man Chu with Lo Hung Wang Goo
'Cause I ride my slant-eyed slope like a brand new Kawasaki
Oh me chinky she's so kinky got me hot like Nagasaki
Burnin' up like Napalm burstin' like an A-bomb
I think I got that jungle fever but I caught it in 'Nam
She's like an oriental rug'cause I lay her where I please
Then I blindfold her with dental floss and get down on her knees
I'm a diving Kamikaze eating out Chinese
First I'll have the poo-poo platter than some tuna sushi
She'll be screaming like Godzilla and kickin' like Jackie Chan
I'll get her redder than China wetter than the Sea of Japan
Like the Chinese New Year she's gonna see fireworks
Now be a good chinky and press Jimmy's shirts
Chinky chinky bang bang I love you
Chinky chinky bang bang I know you love me too
Sing chinky sing
One more time
Chinky chinky bang bang I love you
Chinky chinky bang bang I know you love me too
Chinky chinky bang bang chinky bang
Chinky chinky bang biddily biddily biddily bang

YOUR ONLY FRIENDS ARE MAKE BELIEVE:

Yea well I sing like an amputee though
Why?
'Cause can't hold a note can't cary a tune
Lupus proceeds to laugh a little too hard at Jimmy Pop's stupid joke
Knock knock Mr. Rogers it's Mr. McFeelie
I've brought you a letter speedy delivery
Well Mr. McFeelie if there's postage due
You can go fuck yourself like Captain Kangaroo
I can go to land of make believe and I can pretend
But in the end I still have no friends
Do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do
Mr. Rogers I like your cardigan sweater
Mr. McFeelie shut up and give me my letter
I don't want to talk to you don't you understand?
Why are you inside my house you're just my fuckin' mailman?
I can go to land of make believe and I can pretend
But in the end I still have no friends
Do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do
You can go to land of make believe and you can pretend
But in the end you still have no friends
Do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do
You are my best friend too
I share the same views and hardly ever argue
Eat Spam from the can watch late night C-Span
And rock out to old school Duran Duran
Your best friend is you I'm my best friend too
I share the same views and hardly ever argue
Eat Spam from the can watch late night C-Span
And rock out to old school Duran Duran

IT'S TRICKY:

This beat is my recital
I think it's very vital
To rock a rhyme
That's right on time
It's tricky tricky yo here we go

Refrain:
It's tricky to rock a rhyme
To rock a rhyme that's right on time
It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky
It's tricky to rock a rhyme
To rock a rhyme that's right on time
It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky

I met this little girlie, her hair was kind of curly
Went to her house to bust her out, I had to leave real early
These girls are really sleazy, all they just say is please me
Or spend some time and rock a rhyme, I said it's not that easy

Refrain

In New York the people talk and try to make us rhyme
They really hawk, but we just walk, because we have no time
And in the city it's a pity, 'cause we just can't hide
Tinted windows don't mean nothing, they know who's inside

Refrain

When I wake up people take up mostly all of my time
I'm not singing, phone keep ringing so I make up a rhyme
I'm not bragging, people nagging, 'cause they think I'm a star
Always tearing what I'm wearing, I think they're going too far
A girl named Tara follows Jared every gig we play
Evil dissed her and dismissed her, now she's jocking Spanky
I ain't lying, girls be crying, 'cause we're on TV
They even bother my poor father, 'cause he's down with me

Refrain

We are not dumb, we don't use drugs, but you assume on your own
They offer coke and lots of dope, but we just leave it alone
It's like that y'all, but we don't quit
You keep on, rock shot, 'cause this is it