1. THE MARTYR

He knelt down to wash his face in a river in the land of the scorpions and the snakes. The merciless sun had burnt his skin.
His dirty hands were still shaking from what he had gone through as the glittering water was running down his bloody wrists.
Starring at his reflection he whispered, "why, oh lord?
Why do you put me to such a hard test?
I sacrificed all i had: my hope, my sanity, my goddamn life
And now you fucking let me down!"
And looking up to where the vultures fly, he desperately added,
"you know i am all yours!
Oh my lord, i am all yours!
This is my body which is
Broken for you.
This is the new covenant in my blood.
God, you taught me humility and promised me your kingdom...
Now i'm about to die.
I renounce this paradox for weakness will never be strength.


2. DEATHLESS

Father, will you pray
For my immortal soul
When this is over?
Since we abolished death
Hell has become omnipresent
Both god and the devil played their greatest trick on us
By convincing us of their existence
And we were gullible enough
To create a world in their names
When did we begin to consider it normal
To despise what we are?
This deathlessness is unbearable
Son, i promise you
I will pray for you
And i will pray with tender and loving care
But promise me
Not to hope for any kingdom to come
Life, not death,
Is the obstacle that shall be overcome
And i know you're strong
No matter how weak this makes you feel
Remember, it's still
Blood that's running
Through your veins
And it's still flesh
That will be dropping from your bones
When this is over


3. LIFELESS

There's a devil waiting outside my door
Reminding me that i'm choosing my confession
With every wretched minute and every desperate hour
I watch the clock relentlessly take my life
How much longer will i be able to bear this torture?
How many more days of discontent will i be able to take?
I let the devil in
With a dismissive gesture she rejects
The “trivialities” i offer her:
My possessions, my life
For she has come for nothing more and nothing less
Than my “immortal soul”
I can't help laughing out loud
“you can have that,” i say,
“because i've learned that all my strength
Comes from down here—some call it hell
I call it my kingdom on earth
The rest is but a lame excuse
For human weakness
This lifelessness is unbearable”
I turn the devil away


4. THE PLOT

Billions of feet walk down these roads paved with ennui
Billions of feet march down these roads so donnishly
Billions of minds that lose the plot in sumless little pictures
Billions of trices that trickle away in facelessness
Like every truth withers with every moment left to be gone
Drowning in wrong questions
Dying of thirst for lying answers
Losing with every track
Perishing step by step
Without even thinking the fucking word “no!”
I tried not to grow up but i grew bitter
Childhood shoes in one hand and death in the other
I just won't forget that there is no hole in my chest
Not any longer, no longer
In a world as stale as this in a world as stale as ours
In a world as dead as the concrete it is shaped in
In a world as stale as our beloved chancellor's greatest day could possibly be
And where commodities are never far away
I will no longer hide that i suffer
I will no longer smother my pain
Squeeze out my heart, fissured and torrid
There is gathering, anger and courage again
For all the prodigal sons and daughters
Who sleep with one eye open, too
Who scratch at the gates to a different world
Let's blow the old one to hell


5. THE HALFWAY DEAD II

Again the wolf howled in his shadow
Angrily and deeply grieved he ran through the streets
Passing by all those buildings
Looking down at him
So burdensome and rigid
Embodying a dissembling world
Everything he hated
Everything he despised
The very roots of his half hearted life
Blurred reflections flickered on the paving stones
Raindrops have lately fallen on
And the moon peered down on the halfway dead
While he ran with the horror breathing down his neck
In broad circles around the promise he made to himself
To slash his throat with a razor blade
To end his life,
This hoax,
This lie
Feeling like an abandoned house burned down to its brickwork
Looking through a window showing nothing but a sea of charred ruins
Consumed by flames that leave nothing but sweet and close pain
Again the wolf howled in his shadow
Angrily and deeply grieved he ran through the streets
Passing all those buildings
Looking down at him so burdensome and rigid
The homecoming ever in mind
Delaying it
Negating it
Why has he crossed the frontier of what had been told to be secure?
She found him trembling
In the middle of the prom
A wilted flower in her curls
Knowing his dark secret
Knowing from what he was trying to elude
And so she told him:
“my disciple, now you will learn to dance”